"A little Madness in the Spring
Is wholesome even for the King."
-Emily Dickinson
It was a full hour before the two boys were cleaned up and dressed for public viewing. It would've taken half the time if Duo hadn't had a short, freaky episode in which he thought his braid was missing. After about ten minutes of screaming and crying, another ten of running around looking for it, and a short, quick look in the mirror, he realized that his precious hair was in fact, all there, except that it was in two meatball pigtails on either side of his head.
Both young men decided on wearing shirts with long sleeves, in order to hide the embarrassment of the handcuffs that they had previously spent another ten minutes in trying to get off.
As they stepped into the bright morning light, Duo groaned for the thirty-second time since waking up and quickly whipped out his shades and put them on, Heero wishing he had a pair as the intense light tormented his throbbing mind.
"So, where do we start?" asked Heero, rubbing his forehead and trying hard to think clearly through the agonizing pain.
"Wait. . ." Duo began, scanning their surroundings, "Dude, where's my gundam?"
"Hn?"
"I could've sworn I left Deathscythe right here. R'member? We landed and headed for the nearest liquor store. . .there! Look, there's Wing Zero!"
Heero followed Duo's line of sight, and cried out in dismay as he spotted his precious Wing Zero, covered in graffiti and etched with people's names and initials.
"Zero, noooo!!!" the Japanese pilot cried, rushing to his Gundam's aid. A few bums laying about on top of it jumped in alarm, the ring leader stumbling about and holding up a bottle of beer in a bag as the two pilots came running up to them.
"Hey, Yuy, you're our hero, man!" the hobo slurred, walking closer to Heero and trying to embrace him.
Heero picked up a few rather large stones lying at his feet and whisked them at the vagabonds, who in turn fled. "Get outta here, ya freaks!" the boy called after them, then, in a sadder tone he uttered, "Zero, what did they do to you?!"
Both pilots eyed the chicken scratch and graffiti doodled all over the mobile suit.
"He survived!"
"555- 5845, call me Heero-baby!"
"S. K. & B. F."
"Kill the pacifist chick!"
"I feel your Rhythm Emotion, sexy!"
Heero shook his head in dismay while Duo hurriedly scribbled down the chicks' phone numbers on one arm.
"This doesn't help one bit." Heero said dejectedly as he slumped down on one legs of the Wing Zero. He leaned back against the cold metal, and bolted up straight, suddenly remembering something.
Cold metal.
That's it, cold metal! Heero remembered cold metal from somewhere, some place close by. . . the Japanese pilot struggled to remember from where. . .
It was a bar. . .no, a strip joint, yeah a strip joint that hentai Maxwell dragged me to. What was the name of it? Girlies? Girl Stuff? No, Girlesque, that was the name of it, Girlesque.
"Baka Maxwell!" Heero called, slapping the American on the back of his head.
"Ow! What the hell was that for?!" Duo cried, rubbing the back of his sore head.
"Baka, let's go. I think I know where we can start looking for your gundam."
"Oo-ho-ho-ho, no way we were here last night!" Duo exclaimed as they walked up to a small bar on the wrong side of the tracks, a small bar with a neon light reading, "Girlesque" and a sign next to it of a scantily clad, voluptuous-looking angel winking at the viewer.
Did that doubt stop the God of Death? Of course, not. In fact, the ecchi happily strutted up to the doors and sashayed right in, Heero "reluctantly" following.
When they got inside, there was no doubt left in Duo's mind he had been there the previous night.
"Look, guys! It's Duo and Heero!!" one rather young stripper shrieked, flouncing over to them.
Duo's jaw dropped. She was young, barely legal, just nicely barely legal, with long flowing bleached hair and large brown eyes. Duo wasn't looking at her eyes, however. He could've cared less whether they were brown, blue, or lavender with orange spots. He and Heero had just walked in during the wet T-shirt contest.
Duo hyperventilated for a moment, and Heero feared that the young American would pass out. Duo leaned against one wall with pealing white paint and caught his breath, closing his eyes and muttering "Oh, baby!" once or twice before turning to face Heero.
The trademark "Maxwell Grin" was on his face, and Duo curled one hand into a slight fist and shook it side to side a few times in a motion Heero didn't understand before returning to dancer.
"Duo and Heero!!" a few other girls squealed, bouncing over to them, and Duo thought he'd just about died and gone to Heaven as the girls swarmed over them, kissing him and pinching his cheeks, stroking his chestnut braid.
A few of them rushed over to the very uncomfortable Heero and ruffed up his already ruffled hair, kissing him and pinching his cheeks too.
"Oh, he's such a cutie!" one stripper declared.
"I love his hair!" another cried.
With the look of a cow being led to the slaughter house, Heero withdrew from the flock of groping hands and wet T-shirts.
I gotta get out of here! I knew this was a bad idea!
Heero stumbled back even further, trying to ask the dancers what he had done to disgrace himself last night, but all he could muster up was, "Duh. . .ba. . ba. . .ba. ..uh. . ."
Duo, however, was thoroughly enjoying himself.
"Oh, Duo you're our hero!"
"Oh, Duo how'd you get your hair so long?"
"Duo! Duo!"
Duo shook his head and looked over to his right, realizing that last one had come from Heero.
"What?" He asked harshly, furious that Heero had interrupted the girls, "What the hell do you want, Yuy?"
Duo protested further as Heero dragged him away from the damsels who whined as their precious Shinigami was abducted from them.
"Maxwell! This isn't supposed to be fun! We're trying to find out what the hell we did last night, and where the hell your gundam is! Remember?!"
"Shouldn't be fun, but it is!" Duo simply declared before strolling in the mob of females who happily took him back.
"Duo!" they squealed with delight and started stroking his braid again.
Sighing, Heero trudged over to the bar, shaking his head.
"Wassa matter?" cooed a sweet voice, and Heero looked up to face the bartender, a petite young woman with curly brown hair and blue-grey eyes that resembled Trowa's older sister, Catherine, "You're not much like your friend, are you?"
Heero shook his head in reply.
"Well, that's good." the girl said, continuing to scrub to bar clean with wet rag, "We get a lot of perverts in here, but not too many sweet kids, like you. You wanna drink or summin'?"
Heero shook his head again.
"I was wondering, could you tell me. . . were me and my friend here lat night?"
The girl let a short laugh and continued cleaning. "Wassa matter? You got amnesia?"
Heero was about to replied before the girl interrupted him.
"No, I know. It was all that liquor you and your braided friend were into last night." she said, motioning towards Duo, who was now appreciating a lap dance from two of the girls, "Yessir, you and your friend had quite a lot of the forbidden nectar last night. I think you were both already drunk."
Heero's stomach churned. It was worse than he had thought. If he and Duo had been drunk before they had even reached the strip joint. . .
"I think I'd like that drink, now."
The girl laughed again and winked amiably at him as she reached behind the bar for a glass and some liquor. "I knew you'd want that drink as soon as I got into the details. Don't worry, it's on the house, my treat."
Heero nodded and buried his face in the glass, quickly guzzling up his favorite alcoholic beverage, not wanting to now how the girl had known it was his preference.
"That's right, drink up, there's more." the girl said, a hint of humor in her silvery voice, "You see those three blondes, over by the braid boy? Their names are Cupcake, Mitzi, and Cha-Cha. Do you remember anything about them?"
Heero finished his drink and looked over, horrified at the sight of the cheap, bleached blondes that Duo seemed to be enjoying so much. He shook his head.
The bartender let out another short laugh, obviously having fun with him. "Well, you had fun with them last night. Yessir, you were up on the catwalk with 'em, dancing the cancan."
Heero let out a little groan of dismay and ran his hands through his dark hair, and the girl laughed at his display of distress.
"Don't worry, that's as far as it got, you had too much by then and passed out cold, on the metal catwalk."
Cold. . .metal . . . cold metal catwalk.
The memories came flooding back, Heero disgusted with himself all of a sudden as he recalled his actions. . . every horrifying detail.
Heero let out another soft groan and banged his head against the bar. The girl laughed again.
"Cheer up, kid. You woke up just a few minutes later and then you and your friend left."
"Is that all you know?"
The girl furrowed her brow, thinking for a moment. "Nope, that's about it. I did see you guys leave with Rosa, she might know a little more about what you guys did last night. She lives just two blocks away, in a little shack, you can't miss it. There's a rusted chain-link fence around it, the only one in the block. But I wouldn't be surprised if you hit more bars on the way home, considering the way your braided friend was going on last night."
Heero nodded, and thanked the girl quickly.
"Well, you just take care of yourself." the girl replied, taking his glass away for cleaning.
"Let's go, Braid-Head, now." a touch don't-you-think-of-defying-my-authoritai in his voice as Heero grabbed Duo by the braid and started dragging him to the front door.
This action stemmed a chorus of boos from the girls, and a few tears from Duo, but Heero continued to drag his friend out the door.