Disclaimer: GW still doesn’t belong to me although I really wish it did.
“Fertilise me, Trowa.”
“What? Duo, have you been drinking?”
“Nuh-uh, see, look at my nose. The nose never lies!”
“Well I would look at your nose if only it wasn’t so dark in here. Feel like remedying that situation?”
“Huh? Oh, sure.”
Trowa blinked sleepily when the lamp snapped on, bathing the bedroom in light. He sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes and trying to focus on a rather hyperactive Duo who was bouncing up and down on the bed.
“Duo, how many times do I have to tell you? The bed is not a trampoline. Please don’t treat it like one.”
“Come on, Tro-man, where’s your sense of fun?” Nevertheless, Duo ceased his movements and flopped down on his back, staring up at Trowa and batting his eyelashes like crazy.
“Duo, do you have something in your eye?”
The braided boy sighed. How dense did Trowa have to be not to realise when he was being come on to? He decided to throw tact through the window, instead snuggling up to the taller boy puckering his lips. “Kiss me,” he whispered seductively. Trowa just frowned.
“You really have been drinking,” he snorted, trying to push his manic friend away.
Duo rolled his eyes. It was just his luck that the guy he was trying to pull apparently had the libido of a log. Did Trowa even know what sex was?
“Look, Tro, let me spell it out to you. I. Want. Sex.”
He struggled to sit up so that his eyes were staring into Trowa’s. He was pleased to see the slight flush on the other boy’s cheeks. Maybe there was hope after all.
“Duo, don’t be an idiot,” sighed Trowa, looking away.
Duo would have been offended if he hadn’t been used to being called that very thing on a day-to-day business by Heero and Wufei. As it was, he ignored Trowa ‘s dismissal and pressed on, snaking an arm around the other boy’s waist and nibbling at the side of his neck.
“Don’t do that,” Trowa told him, trying to squirm away, but Duo was not easily deterred.
“You know you like it,” he murmured, tightening his hold on Trowa and kissing his way up to the boy’s face. “You know you want it.”
“What I want to know–” Trowa gasped out, turning his face to the side away from Duo’s questing lips- “is why you’re in my bed at three in the morning trying to get me to make love to you.”
Normally Duo wouldn’t have bothered answering that, but even he had to admit that it was a reasonable question. He paused in his pursuit of the taller boy and regarded him thoughtfully for a moment before saying, “I want you to impregnate me.”
Trowa’s eyes widened at that statement. “I can’t smell the alcohol on your breath, so I think this means that you’ve finally lost it, Duo. I know sometimes you don’t look it what with the hair and all, but you’re a boy. How the Hell does one boy get another boy pregnant? If he even wanted to, that is,” he added quickly.
“And that’s the sixty-four thousand dollar question,” crowed Duo happily. “What if I told you that by some modern miracle of science, the male body could now be impregnated and carry a child to full term?”
“I’d say you were crazy,” Trowa replied flatly.
Duo sighed. This guy was worse than Heero. “It’s true, Trowa,” he insisted. “I discussed it with Doctor G and he explained everything to me. It’s actually pretty simple the way he explained it and I thought that I’d be able to fertilise myself, but even if I could G said that the baby’d probably turn out really screwed up. So the logical thing for me to do was find someone who was willing to…you know…give me a little help. And that’s where you fit in.”
“So let me get this straight,” said Trowa slowly. “You need me to get you pregnant. Right?”
“Mm-hmm,” Duo replied, rapidly losing interest in this conversation and going back to his task of giving his potential partner a hickey or three.
“But why me, Duo? Why not Heero…or Quatre, or even Wufei for that matter?”
“You know, for someone who usually never speaks, you’re sure as Hell making up for it now.” Trowa did deserve an answer though. “Well, for starters I wouldn ‘t dare ask Heero cause he’d probably just tell me not to be so stupid and then shoot me. Same goes for Wufei. Except that he’d call me a weakling.”
“So what about Quatre?” Trowa prompted.
“Quatre actually wouldn’t have made a bad choice,” Duo responded thoughtfully. “But I don’t think he’d like to deal with all the scandal that’d come with the head of the Winner fortune being with another man. So that leaves you, I guess.”
“I see,” said Trowa evenly. “As a last resort, huh?”
“No, no, not at all,” Duo said quickly.
“So what made you think that I wouldn’t kill you either? Or that I’d be an easy lay?”
“Trust me, Trowa, you’re the hardest guy I’ve tried to lay yet.”
“You still haven’t answered my question.”
There was a long silence for a while before Duo finally spoke up. “Well, I thought about it a lot and…I decided that if I wanted to have a kid by any of you guys, I’d want it to have your eyes.”
“You want your kid to have my eyes?”
“I like your eyes. They’re really green, kinda like a…fresh pickled toad. ”
“I see. You only want me so that your kid will inherit my looks. And I have eyes like a frog. I can’t even begin to tell you how unflattering that is.”
“Not a frog, Trowa, a toad.”
“Like there’s a difference?”
“It doesn’t matter right now. So will you do it?” Duo asked eagerly.
“Even if I say no, you’ll still find some way to talk me into it,” said Trowa resignedly.
“That’s what I love about you,” said Duo happily. “You always come round to my way of thinking. And you have nice eyes.”
“Duo, enough with the eyes already!”
“Oh, you wanna do something other than talk? I can arrange that…”
Trowa choked as Duo slid one hand down to his lap and squeezed gently. “Duo, stop! Just…we have to think about this, take certain things into consideration…”
Duo gave another small squeeze, effectively cutting off the rest of Trowa’s speech, a wicked grin on his face. He knew that if Trowa was beginning to get this flustered, the argument was more or less won.
“All you have to do is say yes, Trowa. Just that one little word. Then we can work things out later, together. How about it, hmm?” Duo continued to fondle the taller boy, his grin widening at the small sounds of pleasure Trowa was trying so hard to suppress. He suddenly pulled his hand away, making Trowa groan in disappointment. The taller boy’s eyes had already begun to glaze over.
‘He’s mine, all mine!’ Duo thought gleefully. He waited patiently for Trowa ‘s reply, listening to his soft panting breath. It seemed like aeons had passed by before Trowa finally gave a tiny nod of his head. “I’ll do it,” he said softly.
Duo fairly leaped off the bed, pulling Trowa up with him. “You’re the best! “ he exclaimed, leaning up to press an enthusiastic kiss to Trowa’s lips. “Now, let’s go to the lab!”
“Go to the…what?” Trowa asked dazedly.
“The lab,” Duo replied impatiently. “Hop to it, clown boy, you’re coming with me!”
“Duo, are you sure about this? Maybe we should just…oh, God!”
Duo grinned broadly as he fished around inside Trowa’s boxer shorts, literally taking him by the balls as he manoeuvred the boy over to the doorway and out of the room…
“So what names do you like?” asked Trowa as he concentrated on braiding Duo ‘s hair. Not only had he been roped into impregnating his friend, Duo had also talked him into doing his hair every few days. Not that Trowa minded all that much; it was actually quite relaxing. Duo seemed to appreciate it anyway. Currently, he was sitting on the floor between Trowa’s legs as he leafed through a book of baby names.
“How about Shinigami?”
“Duo, we are not naming this child after the God of Death. We don’t want to scar it emotionally any more than we have to. Finding out it has two guys for parents instead of the standard guy and girl is going to be a pretty big shocker in itself, don’t you think?”
“Okay, fair point…Deathscythe?”
“What is it with you and the death themes?”
“Alright then, we’ll call the kid HeavyArms.”
Trowa snorted. “We’re not naming the kid after our Gundams either.”
“Dammit. And here I was thinking Nataku would make such a great name. Talk about getting picked on at school. I can just see role call now; David Martin, Patrick Mason…Nataku Maxwell…”
Trowa couldn’t hold back his laughter at that one. “Nataku Maxwell-Barton,” he corrected with a smile.
“Nataku Barton-Maxwell?” Duo countered as he flipped a page over. “God, these names are so boring! I should write one of these books.”
“Along with your autobiography about your life as a pregnant man,” Trowa cut in.
“Hell yeah!” Duo placed a hand over the belly that had already begun to bulge a little. Almost five months had gone by since that night and although the reaction of the other Gundam pilots had been…interesting to say the least, most people had gotten used to the fact that the pair were to be parents. What had taken a little longer to sink in was the fact that both the baby’s parents were male. “I bet that when this kid gets older, it’ll have my braid and your bangs,” he added dreamily.
“Poor kid,” said Trowa dryly.
Duo reached up and swatted the back of his hand. “You’re such a pessimist, Tro,” he said with a grin.
“And you’re such an optimist,” Trowa told him, lightly tugging on Duo’s hair.
“That’s why we work so well together,” said Duo. “Everyone else thinks so too.”
“Hnn,” was all Trowa said in reply, but he had a slight smile on his lips.
Duo sighed and placed the book down on the floor having given up in his search for names for the moment. “I still don’t see why you want to wait to see what sex the baby is,” he complained. “You know I have no patience.”
“I want it to be a surprise,” Trowa replied. “Anyway, which would you rather have, a girl or a boy?”
“I don’t mind,” said Duo cheerfully. “Either way, the kid’ll still end up with a braid like mine. And bangs like yours.”
Trowa just rolled his eyes in response. “Whatever am I going to do with you? “ he teased as he finished braiding Duo’s hair.
“You wouldn’t have me any other way,” Duo told him sweetly. “Now give me a massage, my back’s getting sore.”
“It’s only going to be worse as time goes by,” Trowa told him, helping Duo up to sit on the sofa beside him.
“Thanks for reminding me,” Duo grumbled.
“Well, you know what they say, no pain, no gain.” Trowa shifted Duo slightly, pushing up his shirt a little and began kneading the small of his back.
“Oh, yeah, right there,” Duo groaned, closing his eyes and relaxing as Trowa soothed his sore muscles. Who would have thought that having Trowa around would be so useful? He didn’t seem to mind being ordered about too much so long as Duo didn’t push it. Quatre seemed to find that fact hilarious while Wufei had just scowled and announced that Trowa was totally whipped. “Hey, Tro?”
“Hmm?”
“Thanks.”
“For what?”
“For everything. For looking after me and all, and just being here.”
“No problem,” said Trowa as he concentrated on working out the tension in Duo’s shoulders.
“You’ll make a great daddy,” Duo announced. “And when our kid is sad, you can dress up in that clown outfit of yours and cheer it up some.”
“And I’ll probably end up braiding both your hair as well,” Trowa said with a smile.
“I said it before and I’ll say it again. You’re the best, Tro. Now how about those pickles and ice-cream?”
“Are we there yet?” Duo yelled from the back seat of the car.
“Almost,” Trowa called back, not taking his eyes off the road.
“Well hurry UP!” Duo wrapped his arms around his stomach as he rocked back and forth. He had gone into labour half an hour ago and they were now on their way to Sally Po’s clinic. Actually, this was their fourth visit in a fortnight, but this time Duo was convinced it was the real thing. “Trowa, it HURTS!”
Trowa stopped the car at a red light and dug around in the glove compartment, handing Duo one of the teething toys Quatre had bought for their baby. “Here, bite down on this.”
Duo just grunted, grabbing the toy from Trowa and clamping his teeth down hard on it.
A few minutes later Trowa pulled up in the parking lot, rushing to help Duo out of the backseat. Duo leaned heavily on him as they made their way into the clinic.
“We need Sally!” Trowa shouted to the receptionist. The young girl stared strangely at Duo who was currently clinging to Trowa, the red plastic teething toy still in his mouth. Trowa reached over and took the toy from Duo, making a face at the drool that came with it.
“I’m having a God damn baby here!” Duo roared. “Get Sally!”
“Yes, sir!” the girl stammered, now looking slightly afraid of the pair as she sidled by and went in search of Sally.
“God, Trowa, it hurts,” Duo moaned, burying his face in Trowa’s shoulder.
“I know it does,” said Trowa soothingly. “But it’ll all be better soon.”
“That’s easy for you to say,” Duo mumbled.
“Duo! Trowa!” Sally came rushing up to them.
“Duo’s in labour,” Trowa told her.
“You don’t say,” Duo muttered sarcastically.
“You’re sure?” Sally asked.
“Of course I’m sure!” Duo shouted. “Help me!” He was suddenly hit by a wave of pain and without thinking; he bit down on Trowa’s shoulder.
Trowa winced slightly. “I think this time it’s for real,” he said as he followed Sally into the nearest operating theatre.
“Alright, get him out of those clothes and into this,” said Sally briskly, handing Trowa a hospital gown.
“I’m not wearing that!” Duo retorted.
“Duo, just put it on,” sighed Trowa as he began to work on unfastening his partner’s shirt. Duo didn’t do much to assist so Trowa had to struggle to get him into the hospital gown. He helped Duo lay on the table while Sally set about preparing the anaesthetic.
“You staying?” she asked Trowa.
Duo shot a hand out and grabbed onto Trowa’s wrist. “Don’t leave!” he begged. “Dammit, they’re going to cut me open so you’d better stay and make sure everything’s okay!”
“I’ll stay, I’ll stay,” Trowa assured him. “Just try and stay calm. I’ll be right here.”
Duo nodded and then suddenly burst into tears.
“What’s wrong?” asked Trowa, panicking slightly.
“They’re going to cut me open!” Duo sobbed.
“Yes, Duo, that’s what having a caesarean is all about,” Trowa replied patiently.
“But…but…”
“But what?”
Duo sniffled a little before wailing, “I’m going to have a scar! I’ll look ugly and then you won’t want me anymore!”
“Duo, you won’t look ugly,” Trowa told him, used to Duo’s wild mood swings by now. “You could never look ugly to me.”
That seemed to stop Duo’s tears. “Really?” he asked in a small voice. Trowa nodded. “Hold my hand till I go under?”
Trowa stepped back a little so that Sally could see to the anaesthetic, taki ng Duo’s hand and squeezing it tightly. “See you when you wake up,” he said as Duo’s eyes began to close.
When Duo opened his eyes some time later, it was to see Quatre leaning anxiously over him. “Quatre?” he said groggily. “What’s going on?” He started to panic as the anaesthetic wore off. “Where’s Trowa?” he asked, struggling to sit up.
“Trowa’s right here,” Quatre assured him, gently making him lay back down.
Duo twisted his head on the pillow and smiled when he saw Trowa making his way over with a little bundle in his arms. “So what do we have, Tro? Girl or boy?”
“A boy,” said Trowa, sitting on the edge of the bed and handing Duo their baby. Duo looked down at the tiny sleeping baby and gently ran a finger over the small tufts of brown hair. “Not quite long enough for a braid yet,” he said with a tired grin.
“You plan on giving that poor child your hairstyle?”
Duo looked up to see Wufei standing at the foot of the bed.
“You betcha,” he replied. He propped the baby up. “Look, little guy. There’ s your uncle Wu-man.”
“It’s Wufei the boy said with a glare.
“Oh, come on, you don’t wanna disappoint the kid now, do you?” Duo laughed. “Well, at least we won’t lack for babysitters.”
Trowa couldn’t help but laugh at the expression on the other pilot’s faces. Quatre looked overjoyed at the prospect, Heero looked somewhat afraid while Wufei looked outraged.
“I am not going to baby-sit for you, Maxwell!” he huffed.
“Aw, look at that. Uncle Wu-man loves you,” Duo told the baby; completely ignoring the other boy’s ranting.
“So what are you going to call him?” Heero interrupted.
“Well, it took us a long time,” said Trowa. “We must have gone through about fifteen different books of names, but we finally decided on one name for if the baby would be a girl or a boy.” He looked down fondly at Duo and their baby. “He’s going to be Sirius.”
“You’re kidding,” Wufei snorted. “With Maxwell for a father?”
“Not serious, Wufei, Sirius,” Duo corrected.
“You’re serious?”
“No, he’s Sirius.”
“Well he’s definitely more serious than you are.”
“Guys, guys, he means Sirius,” Trowa cut in. “You know, as in the dog star? “ he explained at Wufei’s confused expression.
“You named your kid after a star?” asked Wufei in disbelief.
“Well, we were going to name him after our Gundams,” Duo informed him.
“I like Sirius,” Heero announced solemnly.
“Me too,” Quatre agreed. “Sirius Maxwell-Barton.”
“Sirius Barton-Maxwell,” said Duo with a grin.
“We really have to sort out that last name thing,” Trowa said, smiling.
“It doesn’t matter just now,” said Duo. “So, Wufei, wanna hold your nephew for a while?”
“Maybe some other time,” Wufei replied.
“Oh, come on, Wu. He won’t bite…yet.”
“Very funny, Maxwell.” In spite of his reluctance, Wufei walked over to the other side of Duo’s bed and gingerly accepted the child from his father.
“See, he’s not such a bad guy, is he?” crowed Duo. “I bet you two’ll be real pals.”
“Whatever,” sighed Wufei as he looked down at Sirius. “Hey, he’s waking up!”
Duo struggled to sit up in bed again while the other pilots crowded round Wufei for a closer look.
“Hey there, kid,” said Wufei in way of greeting. Sirius looked up at him with big solemn eyes then promptly threw up on him. “INJUSTICE!” Wufei bellowed, quickly handing the child over to Trowa. Duo howled with laughter from his bed, Quatre and Trowa were chuckling quietly and even Heero was smiling.
“See, Wu? He likes you already,” said Duo in between fits of laughter. “Bring him over here, Tro,” he said after he managed to gain some semblance of control.
Trowa made his way over to the bed and gingerly sat down on the edge of it, passing Sirius over. Duo began fussing over the baby who had yet to make much noise. “Guess he’s going to be a quiet one like you, Tro,” he commented.
“Thank God for that,” Wufei muttered, but Duo just stuck his tongue out. “Save that for Barton,” the Chinese boy said, rolling his eyes. Trowa blushed about fifteen shades of red while Duo set off into a fit of giggles once again.
“He’s right you know, Trowa,” he laughed. “I’ve been out for God only knows how long, now gimme a kiss.”
“Maybe later,” Trowa muttered, blushing an even deeper shade of red if that were possible. He was never one for public displays of affection. “When we’ re alone,” he added pointedly.
“Oh, you can’t wait to get into my pants, is that it?” Duo teased. “But darling, we might wake the baby,” he mocked.
“Like that would ever stop you,” Trowa mumbled.
“Guys, guys, there’s no need to be arguing like this,” Quatre cut in before Trowa could get any more embarrassed. “Here, I brought the camera like you told me to.” He rummaged around in his bag (pink of course) and pulled out a camera. “Okay, give me a pose!”
“Just a minute!” Duo called out, handing Sirius over to Trowa before beginning to mess with his hair. “What?” he asked at Trowa’s look of amusement. “I have to make sure my hair looks good for the picture!” Trowa just rolled his eyes and settled Sirius more comfortably. “See, I’m done. Now your turn,” he said, fussing with his partner’s bangs. Trowa just sat there placidly allowing him to “neaten” his hair, although he did look slightly pissed.
“Whipped,” Wufei muttered under his breath to Heero who nodded sagely.
Once he had Trowa sorted, Duo turned his attention to Sirius. He licked his palm then ran his hand over the baby’s head, spiking up what little hair there was. “Okay, we’re all set,” he told Quatre, snaking an arm round Trowa’s waist, grinning insanely while flipping the V at the camera.
“The other way, Duo,” said Trowa patiently, turning Duo’s hand so that he was flashing the V symbol rather than giving the twos-up.
“Aw, you’re no fun,” Duo grumbled, managing to keep his cheesy grin in place and talk at the same time.
“Alright, say cheese you guys,” said Quatre.
“CHEESE!” Duo shouted, drowning out Trowa’s rather subdued version of it. He blinked rapidly after the flash and rubbed his eyes with his free hand. “Lemme see, lemme see!” he said excitedly, reaching for the camera.
“Just hold on a second,” Quatre said, keeping the camera out of his reach. “We just need to wait for it to come out.” A couple of minutes later, he handed Duo the Polaroid shot. “There you go.”
“Let me see,” said Trowa, leaning down to get a closer look. His photographed self was staring impassively at the camera, Sirius was looking decidedly bored while Duo was grinning madly…and flipping the V. Dammit, he must have turned his hand again just before the flash went off, he thought to himself.
“Aren’t we cute?” said Duo happily.
“Duo, you gave the two fingered salute to the camera. We can’t show this to Sirius when he’s older. I am not having my child learning to swear before he can speak his alphabet!”
“Lighten up,” Duo told him, squeezing him affectionately. “He’ll find it hilarious, trust me.” Trowa still looked a little unhappy about it though. Duo however had just been hit with an idea. “Hey, Quatre, get the camera ready again,” he said.
“Duo, what–” That was all Trowa managed to get out before Duo firmly captured his lips in a kiss. He was vaguely aware of the camera flash, but didn’t pull
back immediately, only when he felt the need to breathe. Trowa was blushing wildly again, which only made Duo smile. Quatre handed the photo over and even Trowa had to smile at the picture of the two of them kissing, Sirius in-between them.
“See?” Duo whispered, kissing Trowa’s cheek. “Picture perfect.” And Trowa couldn’t have agreed more.
End