Open Your Eyes

“Come on, Tro! Time to get up!”

Duo’s incessantly cheerful voice broke Trowa from out of his state of sleep and he squinted his eyes shut when the other boy threw back the curtains, letting light stream into the room. Trowa moaned and buried his head under the pillow, trying to shut out both Duo and the sunlight. He had no suck luck.

“Hey, what’s wrong with you today?” Duo asked, flopping down onto the bed and wrestling the pillow away from Trowa. “I’m never up before you are. What gives?”

“Nothing,” Trowa muttered, rolling over so that his back was to Duo. “I’m fine.”

“Well you’d better be because if you don’t get your lazy ass out of bed anytime soon, we’re going to be late for school,” Duo reminded him sternly.

Trowa grunted. “In that case, I’m not fine. I don’t want to go.”

Duo frowned in confusion. “What do you mean you don’t want to go? Are you sick or something? You seemed just fine yesterday.” He placed a hand to Trowa’s forehead, but it didn’t feel hot. Duo couldn’t understand it. Trowa was usually the one dragging him out of bed and having to force him to go to school, not the other way around.

“I don’t feel too good,” Trowa said softly. Well, it wasn’t that he felt ill as such; he just didn’t want to go to school that morning. That and he didn’t want to see Dorothy or Heero.

“Hang on a sec and I’ll go fetch Sister Helen,” Duo said in concern, heaving himself up off the bed and leaving the room. Trowa sighed, pulling the pillow back over his head. He felt guilty for making Duo worry about him and Sister Helen would fuss over him even more. He was aware that he wasn’t going to make his problems go away simply by avoiding them, but right now he didn’t feel like doing much of anything.

“Trowa? Sweetheart, Duo tells me you aren’t feeling so well today.” Sister Helen’s worried voice drifted over to Trowa’s ears and he allowed her to pull the pillow away so that she could check his temperature. “Well, you don’t have a temperature,” she said thoughtfully. “What’s wrong, do you have a headache?”

Trowa nodded miserably and the nun tutted sympathetically. “Let me get you some aspirin,” she said, rising from the bed and leaving the room. Duo came back to sit on the edge of the bed and he looked down at Trowa.

“Want me to tell the teachers that you won’t be in today?” he asked. Trowa was just about to open his mouth to speak, but he stopped, wondering how exactly he could phrase this. Duo was his best friend, his brother even and he knew he could trust him with anything. Trowa wasn’t sure if he should ask Duo this, but he knew he couldn’t ask Sister Helen or Father Maxwell who were the people he usually went to for guidance.

“Duo, can I ask you something?” he queried hesitantly.

“Sure, what’s up?” Duo asked, trying to refrain from throwing various questions at Trowa.

Trowa paused for a moment and was just about to speak when Sister Helen hurried back into the room. “Here you go,” she said, handing Trowa a glass of water and the aspirin. “This might help.”

Trowa obediently took the pills and swallowed them, then took a long drink of water. He thanked the nun and she placed a hand to his forehead once more. “Are you sure you don’t want to go into school today?” she asked. “I’ll send Duo in with a note if you don’t.”

Trowa frowned and shook his head. No, he couldn’t run away from his problems. What would Father Maxwell think of him? He always said that it didn’t do anybody any good to turn their back on what needed to be sorting out. If he didn’t work things out now, things would likely get worse in the long run.

“I’ll go,” he said and lifted himself out of bed, grabbing his uniform and quickly getting dressed.

“Are you sure?” Sister Helen queried. “Well if you start to feel ill while you’re at school, be sure to tell a teacher, all right?”

Trowa nodded absently, fastening his tie and making sure he had all the right books.

“Hey, Tro, what was it you wanted to ask me anyway?” Duo said, hopping up to join the taller boy.

“Nothing,” Trowa told him. “It doesn’t matter.”

Trowa managed to make himself scarce that day at school. He only shared one class with Dorothy so he didn’t see her, but Heero shared three of his classes. Trowa didn’t even acknowledge the other boy’s presence, instead concentrating on his work.

At lunchtime, he hid in the library. Not many kids went there and it was quiet, perfect for him. He didn’t feel like interacting with anyone right now, not even Duo who Trowa was sure would be searching everywhere for him.

He’d only been in the library for ten minutes when he heard someone draw up a chair at his desk. He didn’t have to look up to know who it was.

“What are you doing here, Heero?” he asked softly, keeping his eyes glued to the book in front of him.

“You seem to be asking me that a lot,” Heero replied. He almost sounded amused. “Pretty soon I’m going to start thinking that I’m not supposed to frequent public places like libraries and theatres.”

“Where’s Relena?” Trowa asked, ignoring Heero’s smart assed remark.

“Where’s Dorothy?” Heero shot back.

Trowa sighed. ‘Someplace far away from here I hope,’ he thought to himself. He didn’t reply and the two boys simply sat in silence. Usually Trowa didn’t mind silences, he actually rather liked them, but this one was driving him crazy. Why did Heero affect him so? Trowa couldn’t understand him and it made him nervous.

Trowa glanced up to find that Heero was staring straight at him and he flushed and lowered his gaze back to his book. Heero chuckled quietly. “Good book?” he asked. Trowa resisted the urge to glare. It was true that he hadn’t turned a page since Heero had sat down across from him, but it still pissed him off.

“Hnn,” was all he said in response, trying to tune out the other boy’s existence. He was sure that Heero was still staring at him and it made him blush harder at the thought. Was he just being rude? The words left his mouth before he had time to re-think his question. “Why are you staring at me?”

“I like what I see,” Heero replied simply. Trowa didn’t know whether to feel embarrassed or pleased by the smaller boy’s statement. He wasn’t left wondering for long though because a voice cried out, “Heero, there you are! And Trowa too!”

Trowa looked up and felt his stomach sink when he saw Relena making her way over to their table, Dorothy in tow. Relena sat down gracefully in the seat next to Heero and smiled widely. “You know, Heero, if I didn’t know better, I’d think you were avoiding me,” she said, waving a finger in front of his face. Heero just grunted in reply, finally moving his gaze away from Trowa much to the other boy’s relief.

Dorothy frowned when she realised there were no more chairs, but her face brightened into a smile and she carefully sat herself down on Trowa’s lap. Trowa’s eyes widened and he knew he must have been blushing. He was pretty sure that Heero was laughing at him as well, but he forced himself not to think about that.

“Hello, Trowa,” Dorothy said pleasantly, pressing a light kiss to his cheek. “I was just telling Relena what a marvellous time we had this weekend.”

Trowa nodded mechanically, but didn’t say anything. Not that it seemed to matter anyway. Relena was too busy pouting at Heero. “Why don’t we go on dates like that, Heero?” she asked, sounding upset. Heero just grunted again in response and Trowa almost laughed. Relena was always trying so hard to get Heero’s attention, but he just wasn’t interested. Trowa thought it was obvious, but Relena didn’t seem to notice. Well, she was persistent, he had to give her that.

Relena sighed, giving up on Heero for the time being and turning her attention to Trowa. “Heero doesn’t have many friends,” she said thoughtfully as she stared at him. “I can see why he likes you though. You and he are very similar. You’re both so quiet.”

“Not when we’re making love,” Heero said idly. Trowa blushed at his little joke, feeling mortified, but Relena only laughed.

“Oh, Heero, you’re so silly,” she said, lightly slapping his arm. She looked at Trowa and laughed even harder. “Isn’t he a cutie! Is he always this easily embarrassed?”

Dorothy nodded and Trowa frowned, feeling like a child at an adult’s social gathering with the way they were talking about him in his presence. “Yes, he’s a shy one all right,” she said, brushing the hair away from his face. Both girls giggled and Trowa sighed. Girls were weird. They giggled a lot too, why was that?

He gave a start when he felt a foot rub against his ankle and he looked up at Dorothy who was busy talking with Relena at that moment. Trowa dared a glance across the table and he raised an eyebrow when he saw Heero’s grin. For a minute he’d thought it had been Dorothy trying to engage him in a game of footsie, but now he knew it was Heero.

He couldn’t help but shudder when Heero’s foot slipped under the leg of his pants and began rubbing against a patch of bare skin. His breathing hitched slightly and he felt his eyes starting to slip shut in response.

He didn’t even notice at first when a pair of lips descended on his own, but eventually he registered the faint taste of cotton candy that he recognised as Dorothy’s lip-gloss. He would have pulled away if it hadn’t been for the feel of Heero toying with him. Instead, he melted into the kiss, forgetting his surroundings completely. He imagined that it was Heero who was kissing him, Heero who was sitting in his lap instead of Dorothy.

Trowa moaned softly and ran his hands up Heero’s back and into his hair…only Heero’s hair wasn’t this long, nor did he taste like cotton candy…

He pulled back, his eyes fluttering open to the sight of Dorothy staring down at him, looking slightly flushed and more than a little pleased. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Relena staring at them her jaw dropping in surprise while Heero only smirked.

Trowa cleared his throat, feeling awkward and wishing he could just escape this whole situation.

“Wow,” Relena said finally, giggling again. “Dorothy, how would you feel about lending me that man of yours?” she asked with a grin.

Dorothy shook her head, but she was smiling. “Maybe we could interest you with the promise of a ménage a trios though,” she said and both girls collapsed into hysterics. Trowa could only slump down further into his seat in shame. He’d kissed Dorothy and thought of Heero. He found kissing someone of the same sex more pleasing than kissing a girl. He was so confused. Did that mean he was gay? And if so, was Heero too, or had he just been teasing Trowa, laughing at his naivety?

And as he listened to Dorothy and Relena’s chatter, as he watched Heero grinning at him out of the corner of his eye, Trowa wished that he had stayed at home today.