Open Your Eyes

“Room for one more?”

Trowa glanced up to see Duo peeking round the corner of the door, his expression hopeful. He sighed, silently lifting the edge of the sheets in invitation and Duo quickly made his way across the room, lowering himself down on the bed and slipping underneath the covers. For a while, both of them lay in silence before Duo spoke again.

“Hey, I just wanted to apologise for what I said before.”

Trowa still didn’t say anything, but at least he wasn’t as upset with Duo as he had been.

“I mean, it just came as kind of a shock, you know,” the smaller boy continued. “But then I got to thinking about it and well…I guess it doesn’t bother me.”

Trowa shifted so that he lay on his side, staring at Duo from behind the veil of his hair. “You mean that?” he asked softly. “You seemed pretty…upset about it at the time. Angry…disappointed. Need I go on?”

“Look, I know how you must have felt,” Duo said quietly. “I know it wasn’t the best reaction in the world and I really am sorry. Like I said though, I thought it over and I don’t care if you’re…you know…”

“I think the word you’re looking for is gay, Duo,” Trowa told him acidly.

“Look, I don’t wanna start an argument with you, Tro,” Duo told him gently. “I was out of line to talk to you like that and I admitted it. I just don’t want to fall out with you over something as stupid as this.” He moved closer and reached out a hand to cover Trowa’s. “I honestly don’t care which way you shake your stick,” he added, smiling slightly. “All that matters to me is that you’re still Trowa. You’re still my brother. Understand?”

Trowa merely “hmm-phed” in response, but he the corners of his mouth were curved up in a tiny smile.

“So, will you forgive me for being an ass?” Duo asked, hopefully.

“Don’t I always?” Trowa replied, his smile growing wider.

“Hey!” Duo said indignantly, lightly slapping the taller boy’s hand. He was laughing though and Trowa knew that for both himself and Duo, a huge weight seemed to have been lifted from their shoulders.

Neither of them spoke for a few moments, but then Duo piped up again. “So…have you always been gay?”

“You mean was I born gay?” Trowa asked testily. He took in a deep breath and let it out on a sigh. He shouldn’t be offended. Duo seemed to be genuinely curious and at least he was going to the trouble of asking him directly to his face. “I don’t know, Duo. I’m still trying to figure this whole thing out.”

“I understand,” Duo said simply. “So when did you find out? Was it like something you’d been repressing?”

Trowa frowned slightly. “I never really thought of anybody in a…sexual way,” he said, stumbling over his words a little, unused to talking about things like this. “But then I met Heero and…”

“Things just fell into place?” Duo supplied, making Trowa smile.

“Yeah, I guess you could say that,” he replied.

“Well, as long as you’re happy, then that’s all that matters,” Duo told him. “Right?” He frowned when Trowa didn’t respond. “Trowa? What’s wrong? Are you happy?”

“I should be,” Trowa murmured, closing his eyes. “I like Heero and Heero likes me. Things should really be that simple, but they’re not. For starters, it isn’t like we can go around telling people about our relationship. Your reaction was bad enough so I dread to think about how anyone else would react.”

“Hey, you shouldn’t care about things like that,” Duo insisted. “I know Heero probably doesn’t give a damn about what anyone else thinks about him, so why should you?”

“It’s an easy thing to say,” Trowa told him. “But you know that people like me are still looked upon as freaks. Someone outside the norm and therefore people to be feared and targeted.”

“Hey, don’t think like that,” Duo said, sounding upset. “If it’s that bad, then you don’t have to let anyone know about this. You know I can keep a secret.”

Trowa sighed. “And that’s what makes it so complicated. I don’t want to hide my relationship with Heero, but I don’t want either of us to get hurt because of it. It’s just…it’s hard, you know? Hiding the truth from all of your friends, feeling afraid that they might not like you anymore because of what you are?”

“Don’t you talk like that,” Duo told him sternly. “If you decide to tell the other guys, then that’s cool. But if they disown you because of it, then they were never worth your while as friends to begin with. And besides,” he added, brightening a little. “Who says they will look down on you? Quatre seems like a pretty understanding kind of guy. I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“Maybe.” Trowa’s voice was small and Duo hated to hear him sounding so uncertain, so hurt.

“You really have to tell Dorothy about this,” he said.

“I know,” Trowa replied tiredly. “But how? ‘Oh, I’m sorry, Dorothy, but we have to break up now. You see I just found out that I’m really gay. By the way, I’ve been seeing Heero behind your back…’ Yeah, like that’ll work.”

“Well, Tro, you sure know how to pick ‘em,” Duo said, patting the other boy’s hand. “Things will work themselves out though. They always do.”

“I’m glad you’re so optimistic,” Trowa replied with a mock-glare.

“That’s why we get along so well!” Duo told him with a grin. “You’re a pessimist, I’m an optimist and that way we balance each other out.”

Trowa sighed, but his face had lightened into a smile. “Thanks, Duo,” he said softly. “It really means a lot to me having your support.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Duo replied with a wave of his hand, looking embarrassed but pleased. “So, just out of curiosity, what exactly do you see in Heero anyway?”

“I…I don’t know,” Trowa murmured. “Just…well, everything really. The way he’s always so focused and determined. He’s tough, but he knows how to be gentle as well. He’s honest, smart, brave…and he’s a really good kisser.”

Duo snickered at that last one and he didn’t have to see Trowa’s face to know that the other boy must be blushing something awful. “Man, Tro, you really are smitten with him,” he said with a laugh. He changed his voice into a mock-falsetto. “’His eyes are like limpid offal…his hair is the colour of liver…’ Jeez, gimme a break! Next thing you know, you’ll be writing sappy love poems to him.”

Trowa’s lack of response only made Duo laugh harder. “You didn’t!” he chortled, slapping his side with glee. “You really wrote a love poem for Heero?”

“I wrote a sonnet about him once,” Trowa replied haughtily. “But I never gave it to him.”

Duo snorted and Trowa reached out and gave a sharp tug to the end of the other boy’s braid. “Ow, ow! Not the hair!” Duo cried, pulling away from him. “You fight dirty, Trowa,” he added with a pout. Trowa merely smirked, but let go, moving so that he lay flat on his back as he stared up at the ceiling.

“I…I just wanted to thank you, Duo,” he said and his voice was so quiet that Duo barely heard him. He flopped onto his back beside the taller boy and shifted closer so that he could hear.

“Thank me for what?” he asked, feeling a little confused. “For making fun of you?”

“No!” Trowa replied, tilting his head on the pillow so he could glare at the other boy. “I mean…I just wanted to thank you for being here…for knowing how to cheer me up when I’m down.”

“Don’t mention it,” Duo told him cheerfully. “It’s in my job description after all. “Class clown, singer extraordinaire…counter to Trowa’s miserable attitude…”

“I do not have a miserable attitude,” Trowa insisted, his eyes narrowing at the smaller boy.

“Oh, please,” said Duo with a snort. “You practically ooze depressiveness sometimes.”

“I prefer to call it realism, thank you very much,” Trowa replied, wrinkling his nose.

“Realism. Right.” Duo ruffled Trowa’s hair with a grin. “Seriously though, I think Heero’s good for you, Tro. Dammit, he’s the first person to ever make you go all gooey-eyed and write sappy poetry, so that has to be a good thing, right? He’d better make you happy, bro, because if he ever does anything to hurt you, I’ll snap his neck.”

“Duo…” Trowa sounded exasperated, but he wasn’t really. “I swear you’re even worse than Sister Helen is sometimes. You’re so overprotective. I can look out for myself, you know.”

“I know that, but where’s the fun to be had if I don’t play the part of the overprotective little brother?” Duo asked with a grin.

“Isn’t that supposed to be the other way around?” Trowa asked archly. “I thought the older ones were supposed to look out for the younger.”

“Nah, not in our case, Tro,” Duo told him. “You should know that we’re about as far from normal as they come. But it only makes us more interesting in my opinion. Anyway,” he added, yawning slightly. “As much as I’ve enjoyed this little heart to heart with you, the sand man’s knocking at my door. You should get some sleep too.”

He moved to get out of the bed, but Trowa reached out to grab his wrist. “Please…stay?” he asked hopefully. “I could use the company.”

Duo stared down at him before giving him an indulgent smile. “What’s the matter, Tro? Still afraid of sleeping without the light on? The monsters under your bed are still out to get you?”

“Something like that,” Trowa murmured, pulling him back down to lie on the bed. “Stay, please?”

Duo gave a long-suffering sigh. “All right then. But I get to grab the shower first in the morning.” He pulled the covers around them both, making sure that Trowa was properly tucked in. “Get some sleep, Tro. I’ll still be here when you wake up.”

“Thanks, Duo.” Trowa’s voice was barely audible and he was already half-asleep by the time Duo had finished getting comfortable. He looked down at the taller boy and his face softened. He just hoped that things would start working themselves out. The last thing he wanted was for Trowa to start getting upset again, or having his heart broken by Heero.

Frowning, Duo made a mental note to find Heero and talk to him about this. Trowa might kill him for it, but he had to make it clear to Heero that if he did anything to hurt Trowa, Duo would personally see to it that his life would be a living Hell.

Trowa’s words drifted back to him and he smiled. ‘Overprotective, my ass,’ he thought to himself. ‘I’m just looking out for you, Tro and God knows you need someone to do that.’