Disclaimer: GW does not belong to me. Never has done, never will.
When I finally come to with one Hell of a headache, I peer uncertainly at my surroundings. I remember making it to the lab and seeing the car that I assumed that Heero had stolen parked outside. My first obstacle was the key code and I was almost done hacking into the first one when I received a blow to the back of the head that sent me sprawling. Idiot that I am I hadn’t been paying enough attention and look where that got me.
A short scuffle outside J’s lab with some guy who seemed Hell bent on beating the crap out of me and now look where I am. Strapped down to some sort of hospital table while the goon who brought me here looks on with a smirk. I allow myself a small smile at the state of his face though. He may have got the better of me, but I definitely didn’t lie there and play dead.
I remember getting a few good punches in before he slipped the wire round my neck, almost choking me to death. But no, it looks as though they have other plans for me. They kept me alive after all. I repress a sigh of frustration as I glance over at Heero who’s as helpless as I am right now. He’s staring at me desperately, his expression one of pain as though he’s trying to apologise without words. It’s okay, Heero, I think. It was me who got us into this situation and damned if I won’t get us out of it. I try and communicate with my eyes to him to stay calm and he seems to relax a little.
I’m startled when Doctor J leans over me, blocking my view of Heero and I manage my usual expressionless mask. “That’s one Hell of a welcome reception you gave me back there,” I say wryly and he chuckles.
“Our intention was never to make you feel welcome at all, Mr. Barton,” he tells me, still smiling. “Very soon you’re going to rue the day you were ever born.”
“Not one to beat about the bush, huh? Straight to the point, I like that,” I say tonelessly. I’m deliberately antagonising him in the hope that he’ll concentrate on me and not Heero.
“What a delightfully piquant wit,” the doctor says, rubbing his hands together. “It’s just a pity that it’ll be put to waste. But, I’m afraid that ‘s what happens when you play with property that doesn’t belong to you.”
“Heero’s right here in this room,” I reply, feeling somewhat rankled by the way this guy talks about him. “He isn’t just a toy you can play with whenever it suits you, then discard him when you’re done.”
“How incredibly touching,” he replies with a slight smirk. He rests his elbow on the edge of the table I’m laying on, giving the impression that we’re old friends having a nice and cosy little chat. I snort inwardly at the thought. “I’m going to be perfectly frank with you, Mr. Barton. You’ve caused something of a problem and now it’s up to me to rectify this situation.”
He shifts so that I can see Heero who doesn’t take his eyes off the two of us. “You see there? Heero Yuy. Not his real name of course, but I suppose you know that already. As you probably know many things about my boy. Getting to the point, Heero is a fantastically capable soldier. It took me a long time to train him to the standard he is now and I don’t appreciate your undoing it all.”
“I know all about your idea of training,” I spit, wanting nothing more than to punch his wrinkled old face right now.
“Now now, we all have our own ideas of how one is to reach their goals,” Doctor J continues. “Yours just happens to differ with mine. Try and see it from my point of view though. I spend years of my life making Heero into the fine young man he is today and then suddenly, someone appears in his life who makes him question his upbringing, who teaches him how to feel, how to live…how to become human. As you can imagine, that upset me somewhat. Just try to picture something you spent your whole life creating only to have someone ruin it and turn it into a shadow of what it once was.”
“Dammit, stop talking about Heero as if he’s a thing!” I snap, my temper getting the better of me. “No matter how much you might deny it, he is human and no matter how hard you try, you’ll never be able to completely rid him of that humanity.”
“Very prettily said,” J tells me. “But if that’s the way you think then you’re even stupider than I thought.” I keep my gaze focused on the doctor, but I can see Heero shaking his head at me out of the corner of my eye, trying to get me to shut up. I won’t though; I refuse to give in to this man. I refuse to let him destroy Heero.
“I’ve been watching you two,” he says after a while. “I watched your little courtship from a distance. And even though I see you as my enemy, Mr. Barton, I have to congratulate you on managing to get Heero to trust you like he does. I was going to just kill you,” he adds, checking the straps that keep my tied down while he speaks.
“But I thought about it a little and realised that I could use this opportunity to my advantage. I’m afraid that my boy will have to be re-trained so that I can repair the damage that you’ve done. And although I will still end up killing you, it might just be the very thing that will make Heero wake up and smell the roses as one would say.”
He leans closer to me again and I fight the urge to turn my face away, instead watching him carefully to see what he’s going to do. Is he just going to kill me and be done with it? No, he wants to draw this out as a punishment for both Heero and myself. I freeze instinctively when his hand moves to my shirt and he gives a sharp tug, sending the buttons flying and tearing the fabric. Oh God no, I think as he works the shirt off completely. Anything but this…
“Get your dirty hands off him!” I hear Heero growl and I can see him straining futilely against his restraints.
“Oh, Heero, my dear boy, I wouldn’t dream of doing that to him,” J laughs.
“That was your business, not mine. My intentions are quite different, I assure you.”
He walks away and I arch my back, straining against my bonds while my gaze flits frantically from place to place, seeking any kind of escape. I can’t see any way out of this and I grunt in exasperation. I can only lie here and wait for whatever J has planned for me.
He’s quick to come back to my side however and I watch cautiously as he begins fiddling with the machine by the table. He then attaches something to my chest, three something’s actually. When I take a closer look, I realise that he’s sticking electrodes to my chest.
“Great, you’re going to fry me alive,” I remark sarcastically as he secures my bonds again, then reaches beneath the table for another strap that he pulls over my waist and cinches tight so that now I can barely move at all.
“Dear God no,” he replies, sounding offended. “I wouldn’t dream of being so uninventive. But since you’re being so inquisitive, I suppose I may as well let you in one what I have in store for you.” He points to the machine he’s got me hooked up to. “I’m just going to give you a few electric shocks is all. I’ll start off small of course, but we’ll work it up to a higher level as we go along. And yes, Heero will be watching all the while. I do believe this could be the one thing that will destroy his humanity completely. Seeing you in such a state of pain and not being able to do a thing about it will have more of an effect than any training I could give him.”
“You bastard!” Heero yells, still struggling to get free. “Let Trowa go now, you don’t want him! Do whatever you want with me, just let him go!”
“I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way, Heero,” Doctor J says sadly, moving away from where I’m lying, but making sure that Heero can see everything. “Let’s get this over with, shall we?” He pulls a small remote from the pocket of his lab coat and I watch as he turns a dial slightly. Immediately I feel something surge through me, not enough to cause pain, but enough to let me know that he means business. “Testing, testing, one, two three,” he teases. I don’t even glare back at this point.
The next time he turns the dial, I grit my teeth and hiss at the pain, my entire body stiffening for a few seconds until he stops, letting me catch my breath before he begins again, making the shocks a little stronger every time. Up until now I’ve managed to keep quiet, trying not to let him see that he’s hurting me, but my hands are clenched tightly and my brow is damp with sweat, making my hair stick to my forehead and obscuring my vision.
I can hear Heero yelling out for J to let me go, screaming profanities and threats, but still the treatment continues. I keep my head turned away from Heero, not wanting him to see the pain that I’m in, as I know how much this is tearing him apart. I just wish that J would kill me now so that Heero wouldn’t have to go through this.
I lose track of time as J toys with me, seeing how much I can take before I scream. I refuse to let any sound escape from my lips if I can help it though. This just seems to amuse him however and when he gives me the next shock, it’s the worst one yet. I can’t help but cry out at how much it hurts and I try to arch my back in an attempt to relieve the pain, but I’m strapped down so tightly that I can’t move.
“Oh, I finally managed to get some noise out of you then?” J laughs softly and thankfully turns the remote off and puts it back in his pocket. “I think that’s enough for now. Think of that as a taster for tomorrow.” Bastard, I think viciously. He’s going to give me some recovery time before he begins again. He can’t just go ahead and let me die; he has to draw it out. Bastard! I’m glad I’m still facing away from Heero when I feel a tear run down my cheek. I’m so sorry, Heero. I’m sorry that you have to be a part of this.
“I’d say we’re making definite progress,” J announces cheerfully, but I’m not really listening to him anymore. I try to focus on Heero’s voice and I frown when I hear how raspy it sounds. He must have been shouting himself hoarse during my little shock therapy, but I don’t remember hearing much of it. I’m concerned with how much my sense seem dulled by the pain and I’m surprised when I feel something heavy coming to rest on top of me. I open my eyes to see that Doctor J has freed Heero from the bed, but he’s kept him tied up. I’m curious as to why J has brought him over to me and as if reading my mind, he says to me, “I thought you might like to spend a little time with Heero before I finally kill you.”
“Such…a kind…soul,” I manage to get out, the sarcasm not as effective as it might have been if I weren’t panting for breath, my body still sweating and wracked with shudders. Doctor J only shakes his head in amusement and it pisses me off that everything I say only seems to make him laugh.
“I’ll be back to check on you in half an hour,” he tells us, rearranging Heero so that his wrists are tied down to the bed. “So don’t try anything cute.” Heero snarls for me since I’m so tired and I just close my eyes in exhaustion. I hear vague muttering and the sound of the door closing, but I keep my eyes shut. “Are they gone?” I murmur wearily.
“Yeah, they’re gone,” he whispers. “God, Trowa, are you okay? I can’t believe what he did to you.”
“It’s okay,” I say softly, still trying to get my breathing under control.
“I’m sorry, Heero.”
“Trowa, you have nothing to be sorry about,” he tells me firmly, but I shake my head.
“I got us into this mess in the first place. It’s all my fault.”
“Don’t say that!” he says, his voice urgent enough to make me open my eyes and look at him. His face is only inches from mine and he lowers his head to nuzzle his cheek against mine. His breath catches when he feels the wetness on my cheek and he pulls back slightly to see my eyes. “You…you were crying,” he whispers.
I nod, feeling ashamed. He must think me weak. I sigh and shut my eyes again so that I don’t have to see his expression.
“He made you cry.” I bite my lip at the tone of his voice; it’s dark and angry. “That bastard made you cry. He’ll pay.”
“Heero?” My voice wavers and I’m unsure of his intentions.
“I’ll kill him, Trowa,” he informs me almost casually.
“No, Heero,” I manage. I don’t want him doing something stupid that could get him hurt.
“I will kill him,” he repeats firmly. “For you. For me. For us.”
“No,” I whisper weakly, hating the sound of my own voice. “Please, don’t. All I want is for you to be safe.”
“Like I don’t want that for you?” he says and I sigh.
“Heero, it doesn’t matter about me,” I tell him.
“Don’t talk like that!” he snaps. “I’m sick of this Trowa! I’m sick of you putting everyone else before yourself. You always jump in the way of danger for me, but dammit, it’s my turn to protect you! Remember what you said to me? You belong to me just like I belong to you. I’m not going anywhere without you.”
“I thought you hated me,” I murmur, my voice wavering slightly.
“Whatever gave you that idea?” he asks, genuinely confused.
“Earlier today when you saw Quatre and I kissing,” I tell him miserably. “You ran off and I assumed that you hated my guts and that you never wanted to speak to me again.”
“Trowa,” he says firmly. “Trowa, look at me.” I do so reluctantly. “I don’t care that I saw you and Quatre kissing. Yeah, I was angry and upset as Hell, but I love you too much to let you go.” He bites his lip for a moment and when he continues, his voice is shaky. “But if you decide that you love him more than you love me…well, I won’t get in your way.”
“Heero,” I whisper, nuzzling his nose with mine. “I do love Quatre, but only as a friend. He doesn’t see it that way though, he told me that he was in love with me and then he tried to kiss me. Heero, he’s so jealous, but I don’t want him to stop being my friend. I love you so much and I don’t want to lose you, but I’m afraid I’ll lose both of you if we can’t work through this and–”
He silences my ramblings with a kiss and I moan in relief. He doesn’t hate me; he doesn’t want to leave me. He pulls away to rest his forehead against mine as he speaks again. “Listen to me, Trowa,” he says. “I love you. Don’t ever doubt that, ever. I’ve never promised anything in my life before, but right now I promise that I’ll protect you with everything I have. They’ll have to kill me before they get to you.”
“Heero-” I say, but he cuts me off with another kiss.
“Ssh, don’t talk,” he tells me, nestling his head in the crook of my neck.
“You need to recover your strength and I need to think of a way out of this.”
I sigh and bury my face in his hair, inhaling his scent and drawing strength from him. I don’t see how we’re going to get out of here. Yeah, I work in the circus, but my area of expertise is acrobatics, not escapism. The soft sound of Heero’s voice whispering to me, his lips pressing gentle kisses to my neck lulls me into a state where I’m almost asleep and I nearly jump out of my skin when the door flies open. I tense, expecting it to be Doctor J back for more torture, but I gasp in surprise when I see who the intruder is.
“Quatre!”