Disclaimer: GW does not belong to me. Never has done, never will.
I keep my eyes focused on the road ahead of me, trying not to think about what I’ve just stumbled across, Quatre kissing my Trowa. I scowl at the memory and swerve wildly to avoid crashing into street lamp. I still can’t understand why I didn’t just kill Quatre instead of running away like I did. The feelings of betrayal were more prominent than the ones of anger and so I did the only thing I could think of. I turned tail and fled.
I feel the tears burning in my eyes and I wipe a hand roughly over my face. It’s all Trowa’s fault, no-one’s ever made me want to cry before. This is what he’s turned me into, someone spineless and weak, a shadow of my former self. I hate him for his betrayal and that’s one emotion I’m familiar with. I know hatred; I’ve experienced it before.
Even as I try to hate him, I’m already having doubts. He said that he loved me. Trowa doesn’t lie about things like that, right? Yes, but if he loves you, why did you catch him kissing someone else? The traitorous side of my mind asks.
Well, maybe what he said was true. Maybe it hadn’t been what it looked like. Sure as Hell looked like it from where I stood though. Damn Quatre, I knew he’d mess things up! I hate him. I hate Trowa too. How could he prefer Quatre to me?
I try not to think about that anymore though as I pull up outside the lab where I know J hides out. I’d been telling the truth when I told Duo that J wanted me. I’d found a message waiting for me on my computer telling me that he needed me for something urgent and I’d been only too glad to get out of the house and away from them. I wondered what the mission was since J hadn’t specified anything, but then that wasn’t unusual. All he’d said was to come alone and he’d brief me when I arrived.
I park haphazardly, not really caring what happens to the car I’m in since I stole it anyway and make my way inside the lab. Luckily, I know my way around the maze before me, having memorised the code locks for the doors some time ago. I finally find him alone in a small room and I look around at my surroundings.
There what appear to be two operating tables on either side of the room, a machine standing by one of the tables. What piques my curiosity though are the restraints for both tables. Whatever J’s planning on doing, it doesn’t look as though whomever he’s testing is going to be in for a pleasant time. However, I say nothing. I know not to ask questions that he might not want to answer. My business is for the mission and he’ll tell me all I need to know.
“Heero,” he says in way of greeting. “You’re prompt as usual.”
I just nod once in reply. “What’s the new mission?” I ask.
“I’ll get to that shortly,” he says, waving his hand dismissively. “Have a seat.” He points to the table that isn’t hooked up to the machinery and I gingerly sit on the edge of it, wondering what it is he’s going to tell me.
“First of all, I think it’s time you and I had a little talk,” he tells me as he comes to stand beside me. I stay silent, waiting for him to let me in on what he has planned. “Heero, I’ve been training you for a fair few years now and I ‘m very proud of how you turned out. You’re efficient, precise, thorough…an excellent soldier. But lately I can’t help feeling that all my hard work has been going to waste. Would you like to know the reason why that is?”
I just stare at him in confusion and he sighs, walking the short distance to his desk and returning with a file in his hands. He removes a photograph and hands it over to me. I’m surprised to say the least to see whom the picture is of.
“Pilot 03. Also known as Trowa Barton,” J tells me curtly. Well that’s all fine and dandy, but why is he showing me pictures of Trowa?
“This isn’t the only photograph I have for you,” he continues, passing a few more to me. I take them numbly and look at the first one. It’s of Trowa and I in the garden of one of the safe houses we’ve been staying at recently. My arm is around his waist and he’s smiling down at me. I look at the other photographs. All of them are of the two of us together in various places and I feel my heart sink when I realise what’s been going on. Somehow J got wind of mine and Trowa’s relationship and has obviously had us under surveillance by the look of these pictures. I silently curse myself for my own stupidity. Dammit, he knows! I think, fighting the urge to panic.
“I’m disappointed in you, Heero,” J continues, shaking his head. “You didn’t even know you’ve been under surveillance, did you? Now do you see what I mean when I say that you’ve been slipping? And that is the reason why.” He jabs the picture of Trowa with one finger angrily. “Unless my eyes are deceiving me, it would seem that you and 03 have developed some sort of…friendship.” His voice lowers derisively on that last word and I struggle to stay expressionless.
It’s pointless denying the evidence. He knows. I raise one shoulder slightly and stay silent.
“I noticed that your work was growing increasingly sloppy,” he says. “That is not what I need from you. What was the first thing I taught you, Heero? Soldiers aren’t supposed to fall in love!” He pokes my chest emphasising every word, but still I don’t say anything.
“I knew that you and he had something going on, but I would never have dreamt that it would be anything like this! You’ve let me down, Heero. You’ve allowed yourself to become distracted by him.” He sighs heavily and leans against the table as though he’s extremely tired. “Do you understand what this means, Heero? I have to re-train you. Again.” I shudder in remembrance of the last time he re-trained me after I’d killed those civilians in the apartment complex.
He senses my moment of vulnerability and he leans closer to me, invading my personal space and I flinch involuntarily. Dammit, why can’t I just act normal? It’s difficult to say the least though, especially now that he knows about Trowa. I suddenly feel afraid, not for myself, but for Trowa. The incident with Quatre this morning is forgotten in light of this and all I want is for Trowa to be safe. I know what J’s like when he gets pissed and there’s no way I want Trowa to be subjected to that. I have to get out of here, I think, looking around frantically for an escape route. I have to warn him.
As if he’s read my mind, J’s metal hand clamps onto my wrist and I let out a yelp of surprise, trying to pull away, but he holds fast, refusing to let me go.
“You know, I was going to have 03 killed,” he tells me with a small smile. No, I think desperately. You can’t. Do anything you like to me, but stay away from Trowa. “I came up with a better solution, however,” he continues and I look up at him sharply.
“What are you planning on doing?” I ask through clenched teeth and his smile broadens now that I’ve finally cracked.
“Oh, you’ll see for yourself,” he tells me, tightening his grip on me and I gasp as the sharp metal digs into my skin. Taking advantage of my distraction, I don’t even notice that he’s managed to get my wrist into one of the restraints. My heart starts to beat faster, but I stay stock-still.
“What are you doing?” I hiss, trying to pull free.
“I’d have thought it was obvious my dear boy,” he tells me, striking the side of my face hard with his metal hand. When my vision clears, I find that he’s strapped my other wrist to the table and he’s now working on strapping my legs down. It’s then that I jerk to life, struggling to free myself. It’s a futile effort though as the bonds are tight and I snarl in frustration that I’ve allowed myself to be manipulated into this situation.
“I wouldn’t bother trying to escape,” J informs me as he laughs. “You’ll only hurt yourself.”
“Let me go,” I growl, still trying to break free. He hits me again and I blink as I feel the blood run down my cheek from where he’s cut me.
“You’re going to pay for your disobedience, Heero,” he says with a glare. Both of us are distracted when the door opens and I crane my neck to see who it is. One of J’s assistants, I don’t know which seeing as I never talk to them anyway. A growing bruise threatens his cheek and there are traces of blood on his face. He’s carrying someone over his shoulder, but the body is limp, suggesting that whomever he’s carrying has been either drugged or knocked out.
“Looks like you had a slight problem with him,” J comments and the man shrugs. “I told you he’s a fighter.”
“You weren’t kidding,” the guy replies with a slight smirk. “Luckily I surprised him so he didn’t get the chance to do any further damage.” Following Doctor J’s orders, he dumps the body unceremoniously onto the other table, a small grunt of pain being the only sound to emerge from his captive. I shift in an attempt to get a better view and my heart catches in my throat when I see who it is. He stirs slightly on the table and his eyes open slowly. He focuses groggily on me and his eyes widen in shock.
“So, you’re awake,” J chuckles, moving over to the other table. “How kind of you to finally show up, Mr. Barton.”