Duo sat down in his good old chair, grabbed his good old remote, and flipped on the good old TV. He loved his TV. It was his escape from the real world. He flipped around past some shows but stopped on Jerry Springer. He set the remote down and started watching.
The topic today was angry love triangles. “This should be interesting,” Duo said out loud. Jerry turned to the camera. “Let’s bring out our first guest. Her name is Hilde.” Duo shot up in his chair. Did he hear right? Hilde walked on stage with a very angry expression on her face. “This can’t be good,” he sighed. Hilde sat down and turned to Jerry. “I understand you have some problems with your boyfriend, Hilde.” Jerry continued. “Its not really his fault, it’s everyone else’s.” Jerry looked confused. “I have the most loved boyfriend in the world. There are people admiring him everywhere. We caught one going through his laundry collecting his Deathscythe underwear!” Duo groaned.
“So you’re here to confront one today right?” asked Jerry. “Yes,” Hilde responded “ONE. I am going to confront one everyday until I have yelled at them all!” Jerry does a sweatdrop. “But that will take months!” Hilde nodded, “Exactly, I am booked for the next 7 months.” Duo heard laughing behind him. It was the rest of the Gundam guys. Duo frowned and then flipped the channel. They all sat down and started watching TV. “Your woman is such a sell out,” joked Wufei. “Not like any of us,” Duo just continued flipping he stopped on an episode of South Park. “AH! Don’t watch this!” cried Quatre, “these children are terrible!”
“Oh be quiet Quatre.” Trowa said. They continued to watch until a song broke out. The Kyles mom is a b-i-t-c-h song. Quatre screamed. “AHHHHH!!!! My virgin ears! I can’t stand it!” He covered his ears and shut his eyes. “Someone change the channel before Quatre has a hissy fit,” Duo changed it and stopped on a commercial. It was for Walt Disney World. “…and now featured in our Mulan play, the great warrior…WUFEI!” Everyone turned and looked at Wufei. “Oh my God. You didn’t.” They looked back at the TV to see him singing and dancing doing acrobatics all over the stage. “And you said Hilde was a sell out.” said Duo. “Ay ya!” answered Wufei.
Duo started flipping around some more. He saw Heero sitting in a dark room with a single light shinning on him. “I’m telling you I’ll never talk. Do what you must.” A hand comes out of nowhere and starts beating Heero. He lifts up his bruised and bloody face. “I will still not talk!” Murmurs of the guards are heard. “Amazing! Where does he get his strength?” Heero suddenly sits up and smiles. “From Gundam brand extra strength pills. ‘Cause you just never know.” The commercial ends as Heero gives a thumbs up. Duo looked at Heero. “Heero, why did you…” Heero screamed, “MISSION DENIED!” and jumped out the window. “Whatever,” Duo said.
“Give me a turn,” said Quatre as he grabbed the remote from Duo. He flipped it around until he stopped on PBS. “Oh yeah! My guest appearance is on!” They pilots looked at each other. “On what show?” Wufei asked. “You’ll see,” responded Quatre. The show began and four little blobs danced around. “What are they?” asked Trowa. “TINKY-WINKY!” one cried. “AH! It talked!” cried Duo. The other little things all said names and then a fifth came out. It was Quatre in a giant pink Teletubby outfit. Everyone gasped. The Quatre Teletubby bounced around the screen and said, “QUATRE!” Then they all hugged. “We are never going to forgive you for this Quatre.” said Trowa. Quatre looked sad and slowly walked out of the house.
“Now that he’s gone, back to South Park.” said Duo as he flipped the channel. “Aw man it’s a commercial.” It was a Reese’s commercial. It said how Gundam pilot Trowa Barton eats a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. Trowa, in Heavyarms, fires numerous shots at the small candy until there is nothing left but a burnt marking on the ground. The door to Heavyarms opens and Trowa smiles. “There’s no wrong way to eat, err, destroy a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup. Duo and Wufei looked up at Trowa but he was already gone and the door was wide open. Wufei went to close it.
“Well there’s nuttin’ on TV, so why don’t you show off some of those awesome Mulan moves?” Wufei frowned. “Omae o karuso, Maxwell.” He left. “Well aren’t we touchy.” He started to turn off the TV but a commercial came on. It was a Moutain Dew commercial. It showed a guy snowboarding down a mountain with a mask covering his face. Only a braid could be seen. After many stunts, the guy stopped and pulled of his mask to show Duo’s face. “DO THE DUO!” Duo sighed. “It’s probably better they didn’t see that.”
THE END