Disclaimer: Do not own Gundam wing. Won't ever. Probably. Unless I get rich. Then I'm gonna buy it or something and remake the entire thing so that everyone is humping everyone. Other than Dorothy. Shudders
A/N: Heeelllllooooo... Hiiiiiii... I'll stop talking now and let you read. grins
Another longish chapter although not as long as the last one. Don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.
Posted on 14th December 2007
It was late by the time Duo got home. He had dragged himself to the subway station. He had spaced out on the platform and missed his train. When he finally got enough mind to board the right train he had missed his stop and had to backtrack.
Now he was just plain miserable as he slowly untied his shoelaces. He gripped one end and pulled watching the knot unravel smoothly. He pulled his shoe off and stared at his socked foot, a small hole on the side of the white cloth becoming larger and larger with every wash. He wriggled his toes and smiled at them. Then suddenly he had tears pouring down his cheeks as he thought of Heero and his soft hair and warm arms. The apartment felt too lonely suddenly, too empty and too silent. He wanted Heero back… and he wasn’t even sure if he’d ever had him to begin with.
His hand throbbed, hanging straight down and straining the wounded flesh there. He ignored it. A broken hand didn’t seem like such a big deal anymore.
Despondent, he pulled his shoe back on. There was no way he can stay in that small apartment tonight. He’d go mad.
He left the building quickly, just letting his feet decide his destination as he let his mind wander. He went over everything that had happened in the past two days and he felt exhausted. Drained both physically and emotionally. And yet he didn’t want to go home.
He found himself standing in front of Wufei’s building. He stared surprised. Wufei lived not too far from him, but too far to walk on foot…
He checked the time, it was an indecent three am. There was no way he could talk to Wufei right now. He might consider Wufei his best friend but he had no idea how far the boundaries went when it concerned him. Maybe he’ll go back home…
He stood there for a few moments longer. He really wanted to talk to Wufei… just tell him what happened… just have someone listen…
He got into the building and went to Wufei’s floor and stared at his door. Just watching it, his hand held up ready to knock but he didn’t have the heart nor the courage to wake Wufei up at this hour. Not to mention, it wasn’t just Wufei… it was Meiran too… he was married and it was not good to just barge in on a married couple…
He felt his hand dropping down as he suddenly felt very alone. He had no one to go to except Wufei and if for any reason he couldn’t talk to him…
What if Wufei stopped wanting to be his friend one day? What’ll he do then? Who will he go to?
Maybe Wufei didn’t consider him a friend at all… maybe he was just a bother… showing up at the worst times, annoying him, throwing things at him, teasing and taunting him, embarrassing him…
As he stood there he threw himself deeper and deeper into despair until he was slipping down the wall across the hallway to the ground, holding his knees as he cried silently.
A particularly loud hiccup escaped him when he tried to take a deep breath and suddenly the door was open and Wufei’s sleep glazed eyes were staring blankly at him a glass of water in his hand. Was it just coincidence that he had gotten up for a drink right when Duo was outside?
“Duo…?” He asked quietly. Then suddenly his eyes cleared up and he put the glass of water down somewhere and opened the door fully walking out quickly. “Oh my god Duo what happened? What’s wrong? Why didn’t you knock?” He kneeled in front of him grasping Duo’s plastered hand gently. He looked worriedly at Duo’s tear stained face. “Come on, come inside.” He pulled Duo to his feet slowly and led him into the warm apartment, closing the door behind him.
He led Duo to a couch and pushed him down on it. “What’s wrong? Tell me.” He urged and he watched as a fresh wave of tears started. He sat down next to Duo and put an arm around his shoulders.
“Heero doesn’t love me.” He said feeling rather like a child crying to his older brother but that’s what he felt like at the moment. “He… he would rather take Adam over me…” He sobbed out staring at his broken hand.
“What happened to your hand Duo?” Wufei asked gently rubbing his shoulders lightly. He didn’t know how long Duo had been sitting in the hallway outside, it was not warm by any means.
“Adam broke it.” Duo chewed on his lower lip trying to hold his tears but it didn’t work all that well. “He pushed me and my hand broke… and Heero would take him over me…”
“Shh…” Wufei soothed and hugged Duo to him while Meiran appeared in the living room slightly confused. “Meiran would you mind getting Duo some hot chocolate?” He asked and she nodded wide eyed when she saw Duo crying. She quickly went to the kitchen to start heating the milk. “Now Duo…calm down, and tell me everything.”
And he did.
Wufei looked helplessly at Duo as he stared blankly at the monitor. They had an exceptionally busy day that day at the office and Duo kept spacing out so much that he had barely gotten anything done. It was lucky that the boss liked him so much or he’d have been out of a job already.
“Hey Duo… how about you get done quickly and we leave early for lunch?” Wufei suggested and Duo seemed to start out of his day dream.
“Mm hmm.” He said distractedly as his good hand moved slowly over the keyboard.
“You know what? Leave early today. Your dominant hand is broken and you’re not feeling well. I’ll go talk to Butt for you.” Wufei got up and left as Duo continued to lazily stab a key here and there.
Fifteen minutes later Wufei came back and swivelled Duo’s chair around so he was facing him. “Butt said fine. In fact he gave you a couple of days off on account of the accident. Now come on.” He said and pulled Duo to his feet.
The despondent man shrugged into his jacket and cap lethargically while Wufei got pulled on his woollens as well.
“And what’s wrong with you?” Derouche drawled when he saw Duo’s slow movements. Duo tensed but he didn’t feel like having a verbal fight with him right that moment.
“Leave him alone Derouche.” Wufei said with a slight threat in his voice.
“How’d you break your hand?” James asked instead but this time he was not sarcastic.
“Accident.” Duo said and turned away from him.
“Did you report it?” He asked, leaning against the wall facing the row of cubicles. Duo shook his head, watching Wufei organize his papers. “Why not?”
“I don’t care.” He said and Wufei grasped his arm lightly tugging him towards the exit. Duo followed quietly and they both missed the blonde man frowning at his answer.
Wufei stared at the melancholic man in front of him. This was not like Duo. At all. Duo was a chipper, happy-go-lucky guy who was rarely ever down. The braided idiot would bounce into a room and make it his personal mission to cheer up every person in there. Wufei could honestly say that Duo’s incessant teasing and the friendly bickering between them had brought him out of a bad mood more than once.
And now that Duo was on the other end of the spectrum, Wufei was at a loss. Currently, Duo had his hands crossed on the table and his head resting on them, staring dejectedly at the people milling about in the mall. They were in a nearby food court that was bustling with activity. Wufei had hoped that Duo would feel better amongst lots of people.
“Hey…” Wufei said softly, putting his hand on Duo’s head petting the hair there lightly. “Are you hungry?” Duo shrugged but didn’t lift his head. “How about I get you something to eat?” He shrugged again in answer and Wufei sighed. He got up and walked to a nearby food joint to get him some burgers.
Duo loved burgers.
While Wufei was gone Duo let out a long shuddering breath. He had no idea why he felt so horrible. Fine, Heero didn’t care for him. Big deal. He’d lived alone all this time, he can continue doing it. It’s not that big of a problem!
Even as he consoled himself he knew he was lying to himself. He hadn’t even realized just how much he had gotten used to going to Heero every other day, calling him, hugging him, breathing in his scent and tasting him. It felt like someone had just told him he was to stop breathing.
What was worse was that he kept forgetting that they weren’t together anymore and he would have the sudden thought of calling Heero and talking to him. Then he’d remember with a start and he would spiral further down into a big, black hole.
Lifting his head up he stared at Wufei’s back standing in a line waiting for food. He felt his broken hand give pangs of mild pain caused by his arm going to sleep. He was massaging his arm dejectedly, trying to work some feeling back into it when he suddenly heard commotion behind him and a shout, “Trowa!”
Just as he twisted around in his chair to see what was going on his face was whipped to the side and he fell off the chair and landed on the ground with a dull thud. “Oww…” He moaned pathetically gripping his jaw with his good hand.
“Trowa! At least talk to him!” Quatre was right behind him trying to calm Trowa down but it wasn’t working. When the green-eyed boy had seen Duo he had zoned in on the braided man and nothing Quatre said was being heard.
“You’re no better than Adam! I should kill you!” Trowa snarled and grabbed Duo’s shirt collar and pulled him up glaring at him eye to eye. Duo’s face throbbed and he let his hands dangle freely. He didn’t want to fight. He felt like shit already.
“Get off of him!” Wufei growled and bodily pulled Trowa off Duo just as the mall security came running.
“We're sorry but we have to ask you to leave.” A couple of security guards asked them and Wufei huffed, grabbing Duo’s arm and pulling him outside as Quatre forced Trowa to follow them outside.
As soon as they had exited into the parking lot Trowa came thundering to Duo and made to punch him again but instead found himself nursing a throbbing jaw and a seething Chinese.
“Don’t you dare touch him.” He threatened his eyes blazing with anger. Duo stared dumbstruck at the rare show of violence by Wufei. True, he threw things at Duo and threatened him with bodily harm more often than he said hello to the braided man… but never had he looked ready to kill.
“This has nothing to do with you Chang.” Trowa hissed back.
“That applies to you as well.”
“He hurt my best friend! I had to spend the entire last night holding him as he cried! You don’t think he deserves everything he gets?!” Trowa snarled at Wufei but all Duo heard was that Heero had been upset. Upset about what? About him leaving?
“It’s all about you isn’t it?” Wufei shoved him but Trowa didn’t even stumble. “You said that Duo needed to suffer because you had to hold your friend all night. What about Duo? You don’t think he was upset?” Wufei’s voice rose as he spoke. “Guess what Barton? I spent last night holding my best friend too! But I didn’t go hunting for Heero, now did I?”
“Wu…” Duo whispered but it went unheard. His eyes flickered to Quatre’s worried form standing several feet away from them. When their eyes met Quatre gave him a small shaky smile.
“You’re not the only one with a hurt best friend. This was the first time Duo had fallen this badly for someone. I could see it, he thought about Heero constantly! These past few months Duo has been at his happiest. And how would you feel if Quatre suddenly told you that he was in love with his ex and he’d give you up instantly?” Wufei accused calming down somewhat now that Trowa was not trying to kill Duo without thinking.
“Heero’s not in love with Adam…” His green eyes glanced at Duo for confirmation and he looked away in response. “He’s not. He can’t be.” He asked again and Duo shook his head. “He is?”
“Did he tell you that?” Quatre asked, finally speaking up. He hated violence. It made him nervous.
Duo shook his head again. “He never denied it when I asked him if he was.”
“And did he specifically say that he would give you up?” Quatre walked up to Duo to stand next to him.
“No… but again, he didn’t deny it when I asked him if he would. I asked him twice. He didn’t answer me. And he didn’t stop me when I left. If he had asked me even once to not go I wouldn’t have.” Duo said feeling the sting of tears in his eyes again but he blinked them back stubbornly. “He didn’t say anything to keep me from leaving.”
“Duo…” Quatre sighed and then hugged him gently. “Heero’s blind. He can’t see your expressions. And that worries him more than he’s willing to admit. He can’t tell when you’re angry or upset. So he retreats into his shell and he doesn’t talk.”
“He couldn’t tell from my voice?”
“Upset and angry tones are very similar. Haven’t you ever noticed?” (1)
“So you’re saying that this may have been a small misunderstanding blown way out of proportion?” Duo asked sceptically.
“No. I always felt that Heero never moved on because of a lack of closure on Adam’s part. This just confirmed it. I need you to talk to Heero. Not just talk, but talk.”
Duo stared into Quatre’s wide blues eyes for a few moments and then decided that his words made sense. “Let’s go Wu.” Duo said to Wufei hoping that this confrontation was over.
“Did you hunt down Duo to this food court or was it just a coincidence that you were here today?” Wufei asked Trowa who shrugged.
“Heero was hungry, and he loves the Chinese food here. We thought it might cheer him up a little.” He said looking to the side trying to move his jaw without hurting it too much. Damn that little Asian man could pack a punch!
“Next time Barton, try asking what happened before you go around punching people. Remember, you’re not the only one with a friend, a lover and a family understand?” Wufei said to him and turned to go to Duo, grasping his arm lightly and tugging him towards the station.
Duo waved at Quatre as he left feeling much better than he had been that entire two days. “Family Wufei?” He asked nudging him lightly with his elbow and the Chinese man smiled at the light in Duo’s eyes.
“Yes family Duo. You’re my little brother.” He answered smoothly but he was not prepared for the bone crushing hug that followed moments later.
“I love you big brother!” He exclaimed tightening his arms even more when the Chinese man struggled.
“Get off! Get off of me you mad man!” Wufei yelled trying to pry Duo’s arms off him who was now rubbing his cheek against Wufei’s hair making pleased purring noises.
A passing lady, all dolled up in stilettos and a very stylish long coat, shot them a weird look and Duo winked at her. “He’s playing hard to get. But I know he wants me.” He said to her and she walked away quickly shooting them a disgusted look.
Wufei managed to squeeze out of Duo’s death hold and then glared at him from several feet away. “I don’t know why I even bother saving you honestly…” He spotted Trowa and Quatre getting into their car from his spot and he yelled, “Barton! You can have your way with him now I don’t care!” He saw Trowa stumble and then look at them, half inside the car and half out.
“No thanks!” He answered back and got in entirely before pulling the car out and driving away.
“Seems like you’re stuck with me Wu-man.” Duo said as he draped himself on him from behind and placed a loud, wet, sloppy kiss on his cheek. “Take me home and make mad, mad, love to me baby.”
Wufei’s face turned beet red in record time and Duo wondered just when he would stop having this reaction to Duo’s teasing. He hoped it wasn’t any time soon because it was way too much fun.
“Let’s take you to your place and then I can go to mine.” Wufei said and started to tug Duo along but he resisted.
“I… I think I’ll go see Heero… this will sound stupid considering I only saw him yesterday but… I miss him.”
Wufei nodded. “I’ll see you at work in a few days then?” Duo nodded and with a final wave he left to go home deciding to skip the rest of the work day.
Duo turned and headed back into the mall. Now… which Chinese place did Trowa say Heero liked?
Duo shuffled from foot to foot uncertainly in front of the door to Heero’s house. He felt excited at getting to see Heero again while at the same time he dreaded the possibility that the blind boy would turn him away. He clutched the bag of food to his chest as he stared at the doorbell. He didn’t want to press it and yet his fingers itched.
Frustrated he pushed his bangs out of his eyes not bothering with them when the slid right back into place again. Taking a deep breath he pressed the doorbell once and waited. And waited.
Feeling dejected he turned to leave when the door burst open and there stood Heero, his eyes wide open and unseeing but yet sparkling anyway.
“Duo?” He asked uncertainly held his hand out. Duo put the bag of food to the side and touched his fingers briefly against Heero’s. Quickly clutching the braided man’s hand Heero pulled him inside. Duo barely had time to grab the food before he was more or less thrown inside. “What are you doing here?” He asked Duo his eyes narrowed.
“Umm…” This was not how he was expecting Heero to react at all. It was either going to be hugs and kisses or a slammed door in the face. Where does pulling someone inside and then questioning their presence stand? “I uh…”
“I’ve been calling you for ages! And now here you are. What is going on Duo? Do you want to talk to me or not?” He stared at Heero’s worried face and wondered. Heero had been calling him? Where was his cell? He felt his pockets and he realized he didn’t have it. Oh right! It was probably still sitting on his desk being charged… for three days…
“Uh… I forgot it at home.”
“Forgot what?” He looked puzzled.
“My cell phone. It’s at home… I didn’t get any of your calls.” Duo sighed and grabbed his braid, playing with the frayed end. “Look Heero… I just… I just needed to see you…”
“Why’d you leave last night?” His voice wavered and he pushed Duo but without any real malice. “I told you everything. I told you things I haven’t told my best friends and you left. Why did you leave?”
“I got you Chinese.” Duo said weakly.
“You think I hadn’t noticed? How you constantly tried to get me to talk. To tell you my deepest secrets? Did you really think I was that stupid?” Heero hissed and shoved Duo again with more anger this time. “You thought that when you showed up with a stupid game that focuses on personal details that I didn’t know? You would always steer all conversations in that direction trying to get me to talk and you thought you were being so subtle weren’t you?”
Duo felt horrible. All this time he had thought he’d been subtle enough that Heero wouldn’t know. And suddenly all his tactics looked so obvious…
Heero sank down to the ground and put his head in his hands. “Last night… when you told me it was Adam who… I just… I felt horrible that my secret was causing you pain. So I told you. And you left me.” Duo could see that Heero was trying not to cry but the telltale shaking of his shoulders gave him away.
Duo swallowed hard. He got down to his knees and crawled in front of Heero so that he was face to face with him. “If Adam walked in right now and wanted you back. What would you do?” He asked, his heart thundering against his chest afraid of the answer.
Heero had closed his eyes and he scrunched his nose in thought, his face still wet from his tears. “If I said I’d tell him to go away, what would you do?”
“I’d kiss you and never let you go.”
“And if I said I’d go with him… what would you do?”
“I’d kiss you and hold you till you push me away.” He answered and then touched Heero’s face lightly with his fingers, cupping his jaw with his left hand. “I love you Heero.”
Heero’s arms came around Duo and clutched at his jacket. He pulled Duo in a tight hug, his face buried in his chest, his arms around the taller man’s neck. “I love you too Duo.” He mumbled against his chest.
“You don’t have to say that. I know you still love Adam.” Even as he said the words his heart skipped several beats in his chest. He felt Heero nod against his chest and he felt his heart break again. Honestly, he thought it would have been broken enough by now to not be bothered.
“But I love you more.” He said and pushed himself tighter against Duo almost as though he wanted to melt into him.
“Really?” Duo’s heart soared with Heero’s words.
“Really.”
“Really, really?” Duo asked with a smile and he felt Heero chuckle.
“Really, really.” He confirmed with a quiet laugh.
Duo smiled broadly and patted Heero’s hair as he felt lighter and so much happier. “So you’re stuck with me for life huh?” He asked grinning.
“Oh woe is me.” Heero countered in a blank voice and Duo laughed.
Pushing Heero away for the moment he studied his face. The tears had dried but had left tear tracks on his golden skin and his eyes were open again and as blue as the sky was after it rained. Damn but Heero turned him into a poet.
“So what all did you tell Trowa? He was pretty pissed at me earlier.” Heero’s face fell and Duo quickly tried to console him. “He didn’t hurt me! Umm… much. He punched me but it doesn’t hurt. No broken noses this time.” He said with a smile and hoped it showed through in his voice so that Heero wouldn’t feel bad.
“I didn’t even say anything to him. I called him over and he just spent the night here. He didn’t ask me anything, and I didn’t say anything to him.” Heero explained and Duo sighed.
“It’s all right. Really. Wufei was there to defend my honour.” Duo teased and managed to coax a laugh out of the smaller boy. They lapsed into silence then and Duo took the time to stare at his boyfriend - Yess!! He’s my boyfriend again! – his fingers running lightly over the back of Heero’s hand feeling the silky smooth skin.
Heero reached out and grasped the fabric covering Duo’s chest lightly, tugging him forward until Duo was draped over him, covering him entirely with his body. Duo hugged the smaller boy tightly against him, lifting his leg up and placing it over Heero’s so that he could push their bodies together even closer.
They stayed together that way for a few moments, just enjoying the feel of their two bodies touching so closely. Duo could feel Heero’s chest rise and fall with every breath and it calmed him down immensely.
“Stay tonight?” Heero asked and kissed Duo’s chest through the shirt.
“If you want me to.” He answered and then gasped when he felt Heero unbutton his shirt, push it out of the way and place soft, wet kisses on his skin.
“You don’t want to?” He asked, his lips never leaving the skin of the braided man’s chest. He licked the area thoroughly and then placed his lips tightly on that patch of skin and sucked hard.
“Ah…” Duo moaned, his hands tightening around Heero’s back. “No… I want to… oh god I want to…”
Heero smiled against his chest and then bit the abused area, sucking it again to burst the small capillaries. He then licked the patch to soothe any left over pain and pulled back. “Does it show? Can you see it?” He asked.
Duo looked down and his eyes widened at the massive bruise forming on his right breast, just next to his sternum. “Damn! That’s some hickey Heero!” He glanced at him and saw the proud smile on his gorgeous lips. “Guess I have to give you one to match, don’t I?” He grinned evilly before tackling Heero to the ground and attacking his neck.
“No Duo not the neck! Everyone will see!” He protested but he was laughing as well. Soon his laughter dissolved into shallow breathing and pleased whimpers as Duo sucked and bit the sensitive skin just under his jaw.
“There…” Duo felt breathless, drunk on Heero’s taste, when he finally let go of Heero’s neck. “Try and hide that masterpiece!” He exclaimed with a wide grin eyeing his work proudly. There was a dark red spot forming under his jaw, a little to left of his Adam’s apple, out for the world to see.
Heero blushed and felt along the bruise gingerly.
“So… how about some Chinese now?” He grinned at the blushing boy and crawled off him, pulling him up along with himself. Life was suddenly looking much better and he could care less if Adam walked in right then and blew his brains out. If that happened, he’d die happy. Hell, he’d die grinning like a mad man.
Now all he had to do was try and get Heero to sleep naked with him that night.
(1) It's true! nods
What the hell did the chapter title mean? I have no idea. It popped into my head as I was thinking of a title and I was like 'why not?'
Hope you liked!
Until next time,
Persephone