This Song-fic will explain what happened after the incident in the briefing room. It will also go into greater detail about Relena’s thoughts on Zechs and hers relationship.
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam wing or the band, “Killswitch Engaged” or their song, “End Of Heartache”
Notes: Just for your information, the text written in regular italics are the letter.
Seek me, call me
I'll be waiting
Regret, it is the only word that comes to mind when I think about you. You were my brother, my own flesh and blood; but I hardly knew you. So many chances, so many wasted opportunities; I did nothing to bridge the gap between us. In fact I can’t remember even once trying to contact you. It was only in your final year of life when we actually began talking again. But to my shame it was you who called me.
This distance, this dissolution
I cling to memories while falling
I still remember that day as if it were yesterday. It was late and I was sitting in my office when I heard the phone ring. I picked up the phone and the second I heard your voice… my heart stop. I could barley breath, my mind was racing for something to say, but no words came out. The silence between us was short but to me, it felt like an eternity.
Sleep brings release, and the hope of a new day
Waking the misery of being without you
I then heard your voice again, you were crying. You began apologizing for everything. You blamed yourself for how our relationship turned out. I couldn’t take it, I started weeping; It was never your fault. I abandoned you; I left you for dead, what kind of sister does that to her own brother?
SURRENDER, I GIVE IN
But you forgave me; you told me you wanted to start our relationship over. You said that we should to forget about our past and move on. And that the only thing that mattered, was that we were given a second chance, a chance to start anew. A chance that we shouldn’t waste.
ANOTHER MOMENT IS ANOTHER ETERNITY
Our talk went late into to the night; we talked for hours about different things. My life, your life, our spouses, our future; it was amazing. It was almost like we were trying to make up for all the time lost between us in one night. I never wanted it to end; I just wanted to talk to you.
(Seek me) For comfort, (Call me) For solace
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart
But even now as I think about that night, I still can’t help but feel a sense of emptiness. That year that we kept in touched is one of the best memories in my life. I just wished that I hadn’t wasted all those years. I should’ve called you first, but I was afraid. And my pathetic fears kept me from knowing what a wonderful person you were.
(Seek me) Completion, (Call me) I'll be waiting
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart
Why was I so afraid, why did I never contact you? I never even tried, not once. It was like you were already dead to me. I sometimes wonder if we should’ve ever started talking in the first place. Would it have even mattered if we never spoke to each other? Zechs… I’m so sorry; I’ve failed you as a sister.
You know me,
you know me all too well
Relena put her pencil down as she permitted herself to shed a few tears.
“Relena.”
Relena jumped slightly and looked at the doorway, it was Noin.
“Sorry to startle you, I heard what happened in the briefing room and was wondering if you were okay?”
Relena lowered her head, “I’m fine; I just lost my composure. I was surprised myself; I guess I just couldn’t take it any more. All the pain, All the suffering I’ve endured… it just came out.”
My only desire
To bridge our division
“All that it means is that you’re human too. Given the circumstances it was only natural the way you reacted.”
Relena sighed, “I know it’s just that I should’ve let him get to me. I bet he’s laughing right now about what happened.”
Noin shook her head, “If anything I bet you scared him. I don’t think he ever saw that reaction coming.”
Relena looked up at her, “Can I ask you something?”
“Go ahead.”
IN SORROW
I SPEAK YOUR NAME
Relena paused for a second, “Noin, what would you have done if you were in that room? If you saw his face, heard his voice, how would’ve you reacted?”
Noin lowered her, “Honestly… I don’t know. The only thing I know is that if I ever saw him, I’d want to make him suffer the same way he made me.”
There was a silence between them, Noin decided to change the subject. She looked at the desk, “What are you doing?”
AND MY VOICE MIRRORS
MIRRORS MY TORMENT
Relena glanced down at the paper then at back at Noin, “It’s a letter to Zechs; I’m going to put it on his grave when this is all over. I’m not finished yet but it’s getting close.”
Noin smiled, “That’s sweet, can I read it?”
Relena looked at her hesitantly, “I don’t think you’d want to read it.”
Noin walked up to her, “Come on I want to see what you wrote to him.”
Relena sighed and slowly handed her the letter. Noin grabbed it and began reading through it. But as she read the words her smile quickly vanished.
(Seek me) For comfort, (Call me) For solace
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart
She looked back at Relena, “Is this how you truly feel?”
Relena nodded slightly, “It’s the truth, as much as I don’t want to admit it. In all honesty I don’t see why he would’ve wanted to talk to me that night. Any other brother would have been ashamed to call me his sister.”
Noin shook her head, “You mustn’t say such things, you have no idea how much he cared for you.”
Relena simply lowered her head.
(Seek me) Completion, (Call me) I'll be waiting
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart
Noin walked up to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, “While we were on Mars, he told me his feelings for you. He told me that he thought you were a brave women, with a gentle soul and a strong sense of justice. He said that he was proud that that he could call you his sister.”
“But why!” yelled Relena.
I AM BREATHING
MY STRENGTH FAILS ME
YOUR PICTURE, A BITTER MEMORY
Tears began to well up in her eyes, “Why did he love me? I did nothing for him, I all but disowned him. Even now it hurts to think of our relationship because we didn’t share anything. I feel somewhat ashamed to call him my brother. Not because of what he did, but because of how I treated him. I…”
Noin forcefully put a hand over her mouth, “You still don’t get it. Do you think you were the only person that felt responsible? If anything Zechs felt like he failed you. But he knew that the only way to forgive himself was to talk to you.”
For comfort
for solace
Relena looked at her in shock. Noin slowly removed the hand from mouth, “Relena you should have seen him after that talk. I’ve never seen him so happy. He felt from that point on, that he had earned the right to call you his sister. He loved you Relena, because you filled the void in his life, you made him whole.”
(Seek me) For comfort, (Call me) For solace
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart
Noin got up and walked to the door, “I’m sorry for being forceful, but I had to stop you. If you’re still in doubt then ask yourself this. What do you think Zechs treasured more? All those years of being apart, or that one year where he got to share his life with you?”
Noin closed the door and walked out of the room. Relena just sat there as she thought about what Noin said. She then picked up her pencil and erased the last 2 parts of the letter; she then began to write again.
(Seek me) Completion, (Call me) I'll be waiting
(I'll be waiting) For the end of my broken heart
Zechs despite all that happened between us, I just want you to know that I don’t regret a single day of it. I’m sorry it took so long for me to see that. I’m happy that I got the chance to make amends with you, and I am proud to call you my brother. I love you Zechs and one day I hope that we will be together again, just like a family. Goodbye my dear Brother.
Relena.
Relena then put down the pencil, got up, and ran after Noin. As she quickly ran down the hall saw Noin right before she entered her room.
“Noin!”
She turned around and looked at her. Relena ran over to her and hugged her tight. She buried her face into her shoulder and cried.
“Thank you Noin… thank you.”
Noin smiled as she felt tears rush to eyes. She wrapped her arms around her and returned the hug.
The End
Well what did you think, like it, hate it, let me know, any opinion is better than none. Also I’m almost done with the final chapter to part 7 of SOA so be sure too look out for that next week.
Peace! ^_^
(Just a little side note seeing these guys live was so freaking awesome! I would highly recommend seeing them if they ever come to your town. That is if you like this genre of music.)