ok folks. I’m really sorry that it took me forever again. My summer schedule was more tightly packed than I thought. But this is the last bit so no more waiting. I hope you enjoy.
And you’re, you’re not here
And I can’t stop pretending that you’re forever mine
And I
‘Trowa!!’
Trowa stood in his tent, silent, and unmoving.
‘How could you Trowa!?’
He turned to the table where a mirror was mounted, he looked at his own reflection.
‘Why would you do this to me!?’
He stared at the mirror, when he saw Catherine’s face. She was smiling, warm eyes, she looked very pretty.
‘I trusted you!’
He then saw Quatre. His eyes were dark, full of tears, he was a heartbroken soul.
‘I loved you! Trowa……!’
“Quatre!!” He screamed at the face in the mirror, “I’m sorry!” Trowa hoped for a moment that maybe the face would change, it would smile, and everything would be alright. Maybe if he said it, then the kiss would never have happened, and he wouldn’t be here, and Quatre wouldn’t have to suffer, and they could be together, the way it was supposed to be. “I’m sorry Quatre! Come back to me!” He pounded his fist on the table, he shut his eyes as the tears flowed down his cheeks, when he opened his eyes again the face was gone, and he saw his own reflection. “Come back Quatre, return to me. I’m so sorry. I just want to see your face, hold you in my arms, tell you that I love you, another kiss.” Trowa’s body slowly lowered onto the ground, his arm slipped off the table. He sat on the floor, his legs tucked up to his chest, and his head lowered against his knees. He sat alone in his tent, in the silence, and cried.
I can’t dream anymore
Since you left
I miss you singing me to sleep
I can’t wake anymore in your arms
I miss you singing me to sleep
Quatre was walking down the small hallway in Wufei’s apartment. Suddenly his heart felt tight, he gasped from the pain, he stopped short and gripped at his chest. His head pounded too, but he didn’t care about that. All he could think about was the pain he felt deep inside.
“You can feel it, you can feel him… can’t you?”
Quatre whirled around. Wufei stood behind him smiling.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he stammered as he stood upright, “And what are you smiling about?”
Wufei chuckled, “Because I knew you would say that.”
“Well I still don’t what you’re talking about. I don’t feel anything.”
“Please Quatre, we’ve all know since the beginning of the war. You’ve got that whole freaky galactic ESP thingy goin on. You feel the pain of those close to you and right now you can feel Trowa. He’s sad isn’t he?”
“Hai,” he placed a hand on his chest, “I think his heart feels a greater pain than mine ever did.”
[here comes the sappy speech!] {thats it im leaving} [no wufei you have to stay. you’re in this scene] {look im already putting up with him in my apartment, i dont wanna listen to him ramble on about his gayness} [look im the one who’s writing this thing and when i say you’re gonna stay, you will stay] {ok ok fine} [good boy wufei] {do i have to be nice to him?} [yes! now shut up!]
“Sometimes I wonder if maybe I hurt him more than, he hurt me. {oh that makes sense} [zip it!] I always started to consider what you said, that maybe he didn’t do it on purpose… but then I think back to when he kissed her… and I would get mad at him again. Of course one can only stay mad at another for so long. I have to forgive Trowa sooner or later, why make him suffer? I know without sensing it… that Trowa is often lonely. He is sad at night… like me. We both want the same thing, to be together again… {im gonna hurl} [omae o korosu] {you’re too attached to heero} I wonder though, if I went there, would he take me back? Would he reject me for leaving in the first place? Or maybe… He would take me back without question? Would he be happy to see me?”
“There’s only one way to know for sure Quatre.”
He looked at Wufei, he knew what he would say. But he wasn’t sure if he wanted to do that.
“You have to go to Trowa. Tell him you made a mistake, and if he would want you again. You know that’s the only way.”
“You’re right Wufei. I’ll pack my things, and leave as soon as possible.”
“I hope things work out alright for the two of you.”
Cheer up my friends all say
And I can’t stop pretending
That you’re forever mine
You’re better alone anyway
And you’re not here, not here
Trowa walked aimlessly around the circus ground. Actually he had been walking around like that for 3 hours. He never said anything, changed his expression, or even thought about anything. It was quiet there, it was about mid-afternoon so all the performers were in there tents sleeping, the sound of grass and gravel shifting under his feet was the only sound around. Soon he passed by Catherine’s tent, he started to slow down, but he changed his mind and walked right past it.
“Trowa hold up a minute,” Catherine stepped out of her tent and hurried over to him, “I want to talk to you.”
He stopped walking and stood in front of her. She smiled to him, but it quickly vanished from her face. His eyes were empty, almost cold. Catherine got a horrible feeling in the pit of her stomach, she didn’t like it when Trowa looked like this.
“I want to talk about what happened. I know it was two weeks ago, but I have to know some things.”
Trowa’s head started to pound, he didn’t want to talk to her, especially about this.
“During the war, when you were hiding out here. It seemed as though you had fallen in love with me. Well… had you really?” He didn’t answer. “If you didn’t, then it sure seemed that way. But I know for sure that I had fallen in love with you. When the war ended I expected you to come back here, but you didn’t. After a few months I figured you had forgotten about me, and I was going to give up loving you. Then you started writing to me and my feelings for you grew again. But I still wondered, where were you now? What were you doing? Why didn’t you ever come back to be with me?”
The pound became a throb. He didn’t want to talk about it. He wanted to walk right past her and not look back.
“Soon you started writing about Quatre. I remembered who he was, I remembered how he came to us, and tried to take you away. You had amnesia, you had forgotten the war, all you knew was a life with me, and he wanted to take you back into that horrible war. You wrote about him a lot, I thought you had become close friends. The others tried to convince me the you loved him. But you can’t be gay, I know it’s not true. But then that afternoon, when he said that he loved you, I got confused. You don’t really love him do you Trowa?”
He turned his head and looked away from her.
Her eyes widened, “So it is true. You found someone to love. You found him. I’m sorry Trowa.”
He looked at her again, what was she doing?
“I’m so sorry Trowa. Sorry for tearing you two apart, if I had known I wouldn’t have kissed you. I hope you can forgive me for what I’ve done. If I could undo it I would, because now I know how much this is hurting you. I want you to be happy, but I ruined that. I’m so sorry Trowa.”
He stepped closer to her, wrapped his arms around her, and pulled her close. She was surprised that he was actually hugging her. Trowa couldn’t stand seeing her that sad, this was the only way he could think of to comfort her, and to show that he forgave her. Catherine smiled a little, she knew that he had forgiven her.
I can’t dream anymore
Since you left
I miss you singing me to sleep
I can’t wake anymore in your arms
I miss you singing me to sleep
Trowa slowly made his way back to his tent. Before he went inside his foot bumped against something, he looked down to see a small box on the ground. He picked up the box and opened it, inside was a partially withered daisy. “It can’t……” Trowa whipped open the tent flap. On his bed sat Quatre. He was holding a bouquet of lilies with a gentle smile on his face.
“Konnichiwa Trowa”
“Quatre what are you doing here? I thought you… because I… it’s been forever or seems like it… why are you…?” Trowa was confused (obvious no da?) and couldn’t find what he wanted to say.
“I know I know. I’ve missed you too.”
“Why did you come back? I thought you were gone forever.”
“I know how you’ve been without me. It’s cold at night without someone there, isn’t it?”
“It’s my fault Quatre.”
“No Trowa it’s not. Don’t say that, it was never your fault. I made the mistake of leaving in the first place. I never gave you a chance to explain. After all, a kiss is exchanged between close friends no da?”
“But that’s not what it was. She—”
“I know what she was doing. I understand why she did that, but does she know now?”
“Hai,” Trowa turned his head and sighed as he thought about the conversation that just occurred.
“Oh my goodness Trowa!” Quatre dropped the flowers on the bed and walked to Trowa, “What on earth happened to your face?” He had noticed the mark from when Trowa got hit with the throwing knife. “Oh my… you didn’t try and? and?” A sudden look of horror took over his face.
Trowa burst out laughing. He couldn’t help it. It was hilarious to see that look on Quatre’s face when he knew the truth. “No no Quatre. I didn’t go suicide. During the knife throwing act I moved and got hit with one,” he wiped tears out of his eyes, “I’m sorry to laugh, but it just seems so funny to me.”
“Trowa Barton how dare you worry me like that!”
“Are you gonna leave me again now?”
“No” he gently moved his finger over the mark. “I don’t want anymore pain for either of us.” He picked up the bouquet and handed it to Trowa. “I got these for you. I thought you would be a lily type.”
“I don’t even wanna know why you think of me as a lily. I may regret it.”
“Would you rather be a dandelion?” Quatre smiled.
“No being a lily is just fine. Come on Quatre lets go home.”
That night, under the light of the full moon, Quatre and Trowa went out the swing.
Cheer up my friends all say