Disclaimer: GW and all its related characters are not mine
I often think about that day, although I don’t usually think about it for very long. Today, however, I found myself lingering on that particular memory a lot. I suppose there was just something about this day that seemed to take me back. It was autumn then too, the war wouldn’t happen for a long time, and I had never been so scared in all my life.
I remember sitting on a bench by a park, I’m not quite sure how I got there, I was so upset I don’t really remember the part when I was wandering around. I do remember being scared because I was all by myself and I remember being mad because all the grown-ups were just walking by, not bothering to help me.
Then I remember the one person who helped me, it was a little boy. A cheerful little boy. A nice little boy.
“Why are you crying?” he asked me, as he poked at my leg.
“I’m lost,” I stuttered through sobs and sniffles.
“How did you get lost?” he asked. His little fingers tugged at my white shorts, then he felt my red t-shirt. He was very curious.
“I was with my mommy and daddy at the circus, but there were lots of people coming out of the big tent and I couldn’t see them anymore,” I felt his fingers on my clothes, so I rubbed the tears from my eyes so that I could see him.
“But the circus is waaaaay back that way,” he stretched his arm out as far as he could and pointed, “How did you get aaaaall the way over here?”
“I was trying to find them, and I got even more lost.”
“I’ll help you find them!” he beamed proudly.
“Really?” I sniffled.
“Uh-huh. I promise we’ll find them. C’mon,” when I slipped down off the bench he took my hand and we started walking in the direction of the circus. “How old are you?” he asked as he started swinging our arms while we walked.
“Five.”
“Me too.”
“You have pretty hair,” I told him. I remember his hair was a light brown and he wore it in a ponytail that reached down to his shoulders.
“Thank you.”
“Where’s your mommy and daddy?” I asked him.
“I don’t have any,” he answered cheerfully. I remember I thought it was strange that a child wouldn’t be sad about not having parents.
“Where do you live then?”
“I live in a church, with the Father, and the Sisters.”
“Do you believe in God?” I asked.
“I suppose. The Sisters have been teaching me the Bible and about Jesus. I like the stories. Father says I get to go to Heaven ‘cause I got special water poured on my head.”
“What’s heaven?”
“Heaven is where God lives. He sits in a big golden chair all day and watches us. Heaven is perfect. I guess God wanted us to be happy after we die, that’s why it’s perfect.”
“I want to go to Heaven,” I said and squeezed his hand.
“Okay! I’ll come to your house and then I’ll take you to see the Father and you can get the special water too,” he smiled.
We walked for a long time, it was really only ten minutes, but it seemed so much longer in my mind back then. Soon I started to fidget as I walked, I kept putting my knees together and twiddling my fingers.
“What’s wrong?” he asked me, not at all annoyed by my fidgeting like I thought he would be.
“I gotta go potty,” I said and scrunched my face.
“Okay. You wanna stop at one of these houses and ask if we can go?”
“I’m not allowed to talk to strangers, or go in other people’s houses.”
“But you gotta go right?”
“Really really bad.”
“Father taught me to trust other people. God said we have to be nice to each other, so it’ll be okay.”
Much to my disliking, he picked the biggest and nicest looking house on the street. We walked up the steps and he rang the doorbell over and over again. After a few seconds, the handle turned and a five-year-old blonde haired boy stood in the doorway.
“Hello,” he said, hiding partly behind the door.
“Hi!” the other boy waved with his free hand, still holding mine.
“Can I help you?” the little blonde asked.
“Um, my friend has to pee. Can we use your bathroom?”
I was now jumping up and down trying to hold it in, “Please? I’ll be really fast.”
“I guess so.” He let us inside and we followed him through the very fancy house.
“Are you rich?”
“That isn’t a nice question,” I elbowed him.
“My dad makes a lot of money. He works for the government. When I grow up I get to be just like him.” He opened a door, “Here you go. Make sure you wash your hands when you’re done.”
I ran inside, already pulling my shorts down. I really did have to go. When I was finished I came out to see them looking at some photos on a glass table. “Where are your parents?” I asked, wiping my hands on my shirt.
“They went to the hospital.”
“Did they get hurt?” the Catholic boy asked.
“No, my mommy is gonna have a baby. Her tummy was really big, like this,” he stretched his arms out. “Dad said it was big like that because that’s where the baby lives. When I put my ear on her tummy I can hear the baby kicking.”
“That’s neat!” the brown haired boy exclaimed.
It was right after that that an old man in a suit chased us out of the house. He scolded the blonde for letting strange little boys in, and he called us some other things as he pushed us out the door. He took hold of my hand again and we began our trek back to the circus.
“It’s been a really lone time since I got lost. Do you think my mommy and daddy will still be there?” I started get teary, afraid I would never see them again.
“Sure they will!” he assured me. “I bet they’re looking for you right now.”
“Do you miss them?”
“Who?”
“Your parents.”
“I dunno,” he kicked a stone.
“You don’t know?”
“Well I don’t really remember them all that much. I find it hard to miss something that was never really there.”
“I guess that makes sense.”
“But I like the Sisters better, ‘cause it’s like having lots of moms. They love me just as much as a mom would. So it’s all okay.”
“Are you sure we’re going the right way?”
“Pretty sure. Let’s ask him,” he pointed to a big red shrine with a golden dragon statue on the roof, or more specifically, the man who was sweeping the courtyard.
We entered through the gates and approached the man.
“Excuse me,” the boy tugged on the man’s pants, “I have a question.”
“You boys should not be here, we’re closed today, and this isn’t a playground.”
“I know, but-”
“Off with you now,” he then turned and went back inside the shrine.
“Grown-ups are so stupid,” he said and stuck out his tongue.
“Now we’ll never make it back,” I plopped onto the ground and began to cry. “I miss my mommy and daddy!”
“Don’t cry. I promised I would help you, and I never break a promise.” He looked around and spotted a young Chinese boy who was splashing water on the steps, “Hey you! Can you help us?”
The Chinese boy strutted over to us, still holding his water pale. “What?”
“You have really squinty eyes,” the boy said, titling his head in curiosity.
Through snuffled sobs I told him he was being rude again and he quickly got back on track.
“He’s lost. We have to get back to the circus to find his mom and dad. Do you now which way we’re supposed to go?”
“It is that way. You can see all the flags and balloons,” he pointed with his chubby little finger.
“I can! I can!” He helped me to my feet, “Look look! There it is! We’re almost there!”
After a quick thank you to the young shrine keeper, he grabbed my hand and we ran towards the balloons that floated high above the trees and buildings. When we got there I immediately started calling out for my parents. There were so many people there and my small voice was quickly drowned out by the music, laughter, and noise of the games.
“They can’t hear me. Now what do we do?” I said wearily.
“Maybe they’re still by the big tent. That’s where you got lost first right?”
“Un-huh.”
So once again he took my hand and we walked over to the big top. There was a show going on at the time, many performers were busy getting ready for their cues, so no one had the time to help us. That’s when we noticed another little brown haired boy, he looked about six, and he was wearing a clown costume and juggling colorful balls.
“Let’s go ask him,” my companion suggested. We approached the fellow youngster and the Catholic greeted him cheerfully, “Hi there!”
“Hello,” he responded, still juggling the many colorful balls.
“That’s really neat. How long did it take you to learn how to do that?”
“Just a couple of months. I can ride a unicycle too.”
“What’s a uni-cy-cle?” I asked.
“It’s like a bike with one wheel.”
“Cool!” my companion exclaimed with wide eyes. “Oh yeah, we need help.”
“With what?”
“My friend got lost. He said he saw his parents here last. Can you help us find them?”
“What do they look like?” the little clown asked me and he put his balls down by his feet.
“My daddy is really tall, and has black hair, and a moustache. He is wearing pants a white shirt with buttons. My mommy has brown hair and she wears it in a braid. She’s wearing a red dress with white flowers on it.”
“I’ve seen them,” he said.
“Where?” I asked eagerly.
“Right there,” he pointed behind me.
I turned and there they were. “Mommy!” I ran to her with tears in my eyes and she swept me up into her arms. I kissed her over and over again. My dad pat me on the head a smiled from ear to ear.
“Sweetie we’ve been looking all over for you. Where did you go?” my mother asked, still holding my tightly.
“I got lost. I was scared, but my friend helped me.”
“Who honey?”
“He’s right over there.” I pointed to where we had been standing together, but he had disappeared. I was sad that he had gone without saying goodbye, and I felt bad for not saying thank you, but most of all I regretted not ever asking him his name.
The little boy never came to my house, but I never forgot about my desire to get the “special water.” In fact, that’s where my friends and I are going today. I’m getting baptized. Duo said he would take me now that the war was over, even though it would have come in handy before the war, had I died at all.
“Heero! Hurry up! You don’t want to be late for your own baptism do you?” the violet haired man called out to me. They had all reached the other side of the crosswalk.
With the help of a sudden gust of wind I ran to catch up with them. I’ll always remember those boys I met all those years ago.
Sometimes I wonder, do they remember me?