“Konie?” a timid little voice called up from the floor.
“Yes, Tro-kun?” I asked, looking down at the little Chibi Trowa who had set himself down onto my foot, and was latching onto my leg.
“It is alright that I ride on your foot, right?”
“Of course! You’re just like my little brother!” I said, smiling down at him with the biggest grin that wasn’t maniacal that I could muster. See, there were some… incidents… in the parking lot that hadn’t quite worked their way out of my system yet.
Let me shudder for a moment.
OK, I’m good now. I just hate the sound of my car being assaulted by that stupid cart. Although…I love the sound that the cart boy made. He he. I love my little Hee-chan.
“Mama Konie? Can I have that?” Duo asked, pointing to a bag of large green apples. “Of course, Shinie, I told you we’d make some apple pie!” I replied, helping him haul the bag into the cart that we were now using. Heero was walking placidly alongside the cart, Trowa on my foot, Duo practically climbing the shelves, Quatre in the little baby seat and Wufei riding on the front of the cart, pretending to be in a watchtower.
“Yeahy! I love apple pie!” Duo cried happily, throwing his hands in the air and doing a little Death-Fairy dance. Until it was interrupted by something more sinister than even the Evil Cart Boy… or the leader of the Evil Cart Boys from Hell (ECBH)… Produce Man!
“Ma’am. You’re going to have to keep your kids under control, or I’ll send them to the Kid’s Korner.” He said, trying to make a (I could tell) normally Tenor voice into a deep Baritone.
“No, I don’t. They aren’t my children, and they aren’t harming anything.” I said, starting to seethe anger again.
“AND PUT ME DOWN, MISTER!” Duo screamed. Produce Man had picked him up and held him as if he were a rotten bag of potatoes, as far away from his body as possible.
“No. You must come with me, trouble maker.” Produce Man intoned and proceeded to walk away with Duo in tow.
“Konie!” Duo screamed, trying to wrestle himself from the Man’s grasp. I tried to run after him, but Produce Man had vanished without a trace as he rounded a corner. Along with him was Duo. My Duo. My Shinie.
Produce Man was gonna pay.
You don’t, and I repeat, don’t want to have a pissed off Konie on your hands.
Especially one that has been in the company of 5 Chibi Gundam pilots for the last 6 months.
“Mama Konie!” Quatre cried from the cart, where he was being harassed by a minion of Produce Man.
“Angel?” I called back, slightly afraid. When I turned back to look at Angel…he was gone.
“Alright! That’s IT. You’re gonna pay, and I swear REVENGE!!!” I yelled, and I believe that it was something akin to a Klingon Death Yell.
“Yeah!” Wufei agreed, unsheathing his little sword.
“Mission, accepted.” Heero said, pulling out a gun.
“For Quatre!” Trowa said, bringing out one of his throwing knives.
“Here we go.” I said in a low voice, also pulling out a… rubber duck. You never know when you might need one. And when you do, you never have it. Just in case, you know what I mean?
So, we marched past all the customers straight up to the front end.
Immediately going up to Customer Service, I demanded, “One of your employees has kidnapped two of my little brothers, and I want them back.”
The employee that I spoke to turned his head to the other person with him, “Ron has struck again, Karen.”
“Thanks, Ryan.” Karen said, smiling at me. Right…as if I was fooled with that.
“I want Quatre and Duo back!” I yelled, right in her face.
“But Ma’am. They’d be in the Kid’s Korner.” She said calmly, her face plastered with that fake smile.
“Then get them from there and bring them back here!” Wufei yelled at the top of his lungs, “This is an injustice to my friends and Mother Konie!”
“Alright. I’ll be right back Ma’am.” She said, leaving quickly.
A few moments later, she returned with Quatre and Duo.
“Thanks for getting them back. But we’re never coming again.” I said, putting the rubber ducky back into my pocket, and I saw all the boys put their weapons away too. “Duo, Quatre, Trowa, Wufei, Heero. Come, we shall finish then leave.”
Getting the rest of our groceries, and using the free session card from Karen (for our trouble, and for our silence and promise not to sue), we had few incidents. Other than Quatre wandering in the tea and coffee isle…and Wufei and Heero getting lost in the Oriental food section…ug…why I even bother, I don’t know. Only Trowa stayed by my side the entire time.
Making our way out the store, we met up again with the Evil Cart Boy.
“Ma’am. I’m gonna have to see you inside.” He said, in a voice that was bordering on first soprano.
“Ha ha… it is to laugh.” I said, shoving my way past him. I’d had enough of Cheapfoods for the day.
“No. Ma’am. You don’t grasp my meaning.” He said, trying to yank me back into the store. “I need to see you inside. Now.”
“Mama Konie said no, and that means no!” Chibi Heero said, pulling out his little Uzi.
This seemed to scare Evil Cart Boy. I mean, a little tiny boy with a big ass gun? Nah, that ain’t scary at all.
“Alright! Just know that, “ He said, deepening his voice to a deep tenor, “I’ll be back.” Then…he melted. I shit thee not. He melted. OK… that was freaky. “Boys, we’re going. NOW.” I said, dragging all of them and hauling them into my Geo.
After shoveling my groceries into my trunk, and letting the cart go whichever way it wanted (which happened to be right into the driver’s side door of a black Dodge Viper), I sped out of that cursed parking lot at about 50 mph. Just as I was about home free, making that last turn out of the parking lot, a silvery form appeared in front of the car.
“Ma’am. I told you I had to see you inside.” It said, trying to yank my car back into the parking lot.
“LEAVE ME ALONE!” I screamed, going chibi myself. I reached into my pocket and pulled out my rubber ducky, now also chibi-ized. He took one look at the ducky and ran. Well, more like slid away. Looking down at my ducky, I smiled. “Cool!”
And so, our adventure at the grocery store came to an end. I shall forever treasure my Geo, the boys…and most of all…
My rubber ducky.
AN: So? What didja think? Let me know!!!!! C&C requested!!!!!