This shall be my self-insertion fic…oh well…
Finished up for Meghann-chan, who always loves what I do =-)
This is for you, since Candice has “The Case of the Missing Chibis”
NOTE: Konie does not own Gundam Wing. Although she tends to think that she owns herself.
“Wahh! I’m hungry!” Chibi Duo tugged on my pants leg, then sat down on my foot. “Gimme food!”
I smiled, looking down, “I’m sorry, Duo, what do you want?”
“I want strawberry pancakes and chocolate chip pudding!” The chibi sighed enthusiastically, practically drooling. I heard a tiny knock at my bedroom door, and a little high-pitched voice called; “May I come in, Momma Konie?”
“Of course, Quatre!” I called back, picking Duo up off my foot and placing him gently in my lap, where he snuggled, purring like a little kitten.
The door squeaked as the little Arabian stepped in, and squeaked again as he slowly closed it. “Momma Konie, there’s not enough ingredients to make breakfast. I thought that I’d come in here and tell you.” He smiled, obviously proud of himself.
“Quatre, dear, did you try to make breakfast again?” I asked, nervously… even though he was only trying to help, I remember the last time he made breakfast… the pots and pans on the floor, the chairs pulled up to the counters, the smoke, the flames…
“But Quatre makes breakfast good, Konie!” Chibi Duo called up from my lap, defending his friend. Petting his head, smoothing his hair, I said, “I know, Shinie…I know…Angel does make a great breakfast.”
This brightened Angel’s smile even more. “Actually, Heero and Trowa are making breakfast.”
“Thank you for reporting in, Ensign Angel.” I saluted him, and he cheerfully did the same. “Dismissed.”
After leaving in the same way he came in, I looked down at Duo, now asleep in my lap. “I thought that you wanted some food, Little Shinie.” A little ear perked up at the mention of food.
“Yes, I want my pudding.” He pouted, trying to make me go get some food.
“How about we go to the grocery store and you can pick out what you want?”
“Yeah! Let’s go!” He cried as he jumped from my lap to the ground, making a nice little ‘thud’ as he landed. “Come on, Konie!” He called from the door, holding out his chubby hand.
“Alright, I’m coming.” I smiled, taking his little hand in mine as we went to the kitchen.
“Momma Konie?” Duo looked up, puzzled. His face was contorted into a grin/ frown…(How he does it and still looks cute, I don’t know!)
“Yes, Shinie?”
“What’s the grocery store? Is it where the stories go when they get tired? Or where the Grocers go when they need a nap? Why are we going?”
“Shinie, the grocery store is a place that sells a lot of food, and if you want some food, that’ll be the place to get it.” I answered him, grinning. ‘He is the darndest thing!’
“Oh, alright…” he said, looking disappointed. “I wanted to meet Humpty Dumpty…”
“He’s just a nursery rhyme, that’s all. You know that, Duo.” I told him, picking him up and carrying him into the kitchen. When I opened the door, I almost dropped him from shock! Even though Heero and Trowa were cooking, there wasn’t any mess at all! Walking around some, I noticed a figure crouched under the table, with a little broom, sweeping.
“Wu-chan, what are you doing down there?” I asked the little Chinese Chibi.
The little Pilot ignored me and kept sweeping. “Wufei, what are you doing down there?”
Jumping down from my arms, Duo walked over to Wufei, grabbed the little broom and started saying things like “Lookie at Wu-chan! A little Hausfrau!”
’Haus…Frau?’ I thought, the gears turning in my head. Slowly, but surely turning. “Ensigns Trowa, Heero, Wufei, Duo and Quatre, REPORT!”
In a hurried mess, all the aforementioned Chibis got into a line, in number order. Pacing back and forth (as I often do) I asked Trowa if he had been teaching Duo some foreign languages.
“Yes, ma’am, I’ve been trying to teach him some French, German, and Italian.”
“You don’t need to give him ideas, English is just fine for Duo-chan!”
“Yes, ma’am.” He answered, looking down, disappointed. He had liked teaching Duo things; he was such an enthusiastic learner.
“Next things next. Let’s eat and then go to the grocery store. Dismissed.”
I ordered. Army-style was the only way I had figured to keep all of the Chibis in line.
All of the Chibis cautiously made their way to the round wooden table for breakfast. Trowa looked over at me, confused. “Miss Konie, what is the grocery store?”
“It’s only a place with a lot of food to buy.”
“Oh. Are we going there today?”
“Yes, Trowa, we are. Then we can pick up some of those apples that you wanted for apple pies.”
Duo started to pat his tummy, “Yummy! Apple pies!” He drooled in anticipation, the imaginary aroma of apple pies filling his senses.
“Yup, and we can get almost anything else you want to, with the kind help of Mr. Peacecraft.” I said, referring to Milliardo. He’s helped a lot with the Chibis…I remember when we found them…
“Hey! Milliardo! Over here!” I called, waving across the expanse of the parking lot. The sun shined a lot that day, so the blacktop was getting almost painfully hot. “I found the Gundams… but there’s something wrong with them!”
I should say there was.
“What could be wrong?” he called back, anxious. After the death of Mariemeia, the Gundams had all split up, leaving Relena and Milliardo to themselves. He still wanted to finish his duel with Heero, so he tried to find him afterwards. We had spent months and months searching, and finally came across a tabloid sighting of them… in a grocery store parking lot.
“Well…” I started, leading him to the exact spot. Once there, he stood and gawked. And stood there some more. I think the shock was too much.
“T-those are the Gundams?”
“Yup.”
“What happened to them?”
“Who knows? But who’ll take care of them?” I said, pointing to the now Mini-Gundams and Chibi pilots. They were playing “duck, duck, goose”. And it wasn’t really playing. It was Heero sitting by Chibi-Wing-Zero-Custom and doing some calculations. It was Wufei polishing Nataku. It was Trowa polishing his knives. Then there were Duo and Quatre. They were playing… on everyone else. Yes, jumping and playing. Milliardo and I turned and looked each other in the eye. “I’m not doing it.” We both said in concert.
“You’re the girl. You do it.” He said, finalizing it. “I’ll help you every now and then though.”
So, I got stuck with the Chibis… but I’ve grown to love them as if they were my little brothers.
“Mama Konie… we’re done with breakfast. Do you want to help clean up?” Heero asked, looking up at me with a small smile on his face. Boy… time flies with an inner monologue… doesn’t it, folks?
“Sure… but after you go get washed up.” I beamed down at him,
“Now to the bathroom with you.” He left, almost skipping. Something seemed wrong with that…
“Miss Konie… are we leaving soon?” Angel came up and asked, “I already cleaned up most of the mess.” He said proudly. He puffed his little chest out, trying to prove he was big enough to do it.
“Sugoi!” I said, promptly glomping him. See, even though I’ve lived with them for a while now… I’m not immune to the sudden-kawaii-ness syndrome. All people have it. When they see a Chibi doing something cute, they have to glomp. Human instinct, I tell ya, human instinct. Human instinct aside, I got the little ones packed into my Geo. I know…ancient, tiny… but it gets good mileage. The only salvation that car has, mind you… mileage.
“How far is it?” Shinie asked… non-stop the entire way. “How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it? How far is it?”
“ONLY FIVE MORE MINUTES.” I screamed, swerving to miss a semi. Driving with Chibis in the backseat, I learned, it the most dangerous thing you could ever do. Ever! So never do it!!!!!
Duo got quiet. Fast.
Silence for the rest of the trip. Wonderful, wonderful silence.
How I love that word… silence.
We got to the grocery store, our local Cheap Food. What? You don’t have those? Oh well. Parking the car, I got all the Chibis out… and walked halfway to the store in our chain when I heard a screeching sound… like metal on metal. I turned back to look at me Geo… to see a cart boy pushing carts against my car!!!!! “Hey! I’m gonna talk to the manager!” I screamed to him, but he had a CD player going and didn’t hear me. “Shinie, honey… you know what you like to do to mean people?”
I looked down at him, with an evil little glint in my eye.
He looked back, confused. “But Konie… you told me not to do that.”
“I know… I’m making an exception, just this once. Alright?”
He nodded. “Alright. You know what to do.”
I let go of his hand… and he ran over to the cart boy. And started to kick him in the shin. The cart boy took off his headphones and looked down at Duo. “What do you think you’re doing, kid?” The cart boy asked, picking Duo up.
“Nothing.” answered Duo. That is… until he kicked the cart boy again… in the only available place for his Chibi foot to go… yeah, you know where I’m talking about. Dropping Duo, the boy screamed in agony and keeled over. Excitedly, Duo ran over to me, beaming.
“Good job, Duo! Now, for your treat, apples for apple pie!”
“What do we get?” The others asked.
The evil glint returned to me again. “You’ll get what ever you want…as long as you earn it.”
Only Heero picked up on my hint and walked calmly to the Cart boy.
“Ninmu ryokai.” He said, putting a Vulcan Nerve Pinch? On the cart boy?
Wow… what kids learn from re-runs of Star Trek. After knocking the boy unconscious, Heero walked calmly back to me. “I get what I want now. I’ve earned it.”
“You sure have, Heero. You sure have.”
The End… or is it?
Do they make it into the grocery store?
Do they survive the evil produce isle, looking for apples?
Do they find the apples they need?
What will become of the cart boy?
Stay tuned… Same Bat time, same Bat channel.