JC: And here’s another whammy from me!
Solo: What is a whammy?
JC: No idea. Just felt like saying it.
Solo: Whatever. Anyway, as usual, JC doesn’t own Gundam Wing or any of it’s characters and music.
JC: So sad.
Solo: I know. But this is supposed to be funny, so let’s start the show!
JC: Today we will be reviewing some of the GW best character image songs! Then, we will pick the best one!
Solo: First up, let’s go and see who had the most image songs!
JC: … and the pilot with the most songs is… HEERO!
Heero: Please don’t do that. You remind me of Relena… (shudders)
JC: Gomen, gomen. Anyway, here’s a list of your image songs: Cry for the Dream, Tatoe Kimi ga Hohen Demo, Ore Dake no Kotoba De, Flying Away, Take Off to the Sky.
Duo: Sugoi! That’s a lot of songs!
Solo: Now we will take into account every possible criticism of music™ possible and come out with the best song to be reviewed. Hmm… (frowns at the long process™)
JC: And here’s some short mini-reviews…
Catherine: Cry for the Dream didn’t cut it. It sucked… the ‘yea yea yea yea’ parts really disturbed me.
Heero: Hey!
Zechs: Although Flying Away had a nice tone, it was… so boring and long.
Heero: At least I had more that one song!
Zechs: Nani?
Heero: Hn.
Hilde: I liked Take Off to the Sky a lot, but it lacked something.
Heero: AT LEAST I HAD AN IMAGE SONG! AAARRRGGGHHHH!!! (glares at Hilde)
JC: Tatoe Kimi ga Hohen Demo is the winner! It had such amazing background vocals and the song was so cool!
Heero: I’m the best. Everyone else has failed his or her mission. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
JC: That was your best image song. You didn’t win anything yet.
Heero: Mission failed. (self-destructs) BOOM!
JC: Moving on… (love that song ^_~ it’s by AiM) We have Duo next!
Duo: Yay! Yay! Everyone knows I’m the best!
JC: So far, you have four image songs: Goodluck and Goodbye, Kitto OK!, Wild Wing, and It’s So All Right!
Duo: And we all know that I’m gonna win!
Relena: I really liked Goodluck and Goodbye. Unfortunately, I’m going to have to say that it lacked a good bridge.
Duo: What? Ojousan, you are going down! (charges Relena, but she dodges and Duo runs smack into Heero)
Heero: I like you Duo. Let’s go screw.
Duo: EEP! Not now!
Sally: AHEM! Kitto OK was quite interesting with its lovely guitar and acoustics.
JC: And … It’s So All Right has tied with Wild Wing!
Duo: Yes! Yay! Whoo hoo! I’m the best! Yeah!
JC: …
Solo: I liked Wild Wing better.
JC: And so Wild Wing is the winner with its engaging opening and wonderful lyrics.
Duo: (dancing around like an insane maniac who just won the lottery™) WHEE! YEAH! ALL RIGHT!
JC: Moving on… We have our own little innocent Quatre next.
Quatre: I appreciate that you… (turns into Zero System Quatre) I BETTER WIN OR I WILL DESTROY EVERYTHING! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
JC: Right and for the songs… I’m Your Friend, Hoshi no Manazashi, and Brave Eyes.
Duo: (sings badly) I’M YOUR FRRRRIIIIEEEEEEENNNNNDDDD!!! Good god, that songs sucked!
ZSQ: DESTROY! DESTROY! (goes on rampage)
Duo: EEEEEEEPPPPPPPPP!!!
Relena: Hoshi no Manazashi was such a romantic song… unfortunately, Brave Eyes is the winner. I LOVE THAT SONG! OMG, LET’S HEAR THAT RIFF AGAIN! YYYYEEEEEEAAAAAHHHHHH!!!
JC: (sweatdrops) The song had great guitar and acoustic breaks, so if you haven’t heard it, I suggest you find an mp3 or the Blind Target CD 1.
Solo: Our next candidate is Trowa… uh…
Trowa: …
Solo: Whatever. Anyway, we only have three songs now… Doukeshi, Ai wa Ryuusei, and Make My Way.
Trowa: …
Catherine: No offense, but you suck.
Hilde: I beg your pardon! I loved Doukeshi. It was so sad and all… (sighs happily)
Heero: Make My Way was too weird. Trowa sounded like he was on drugs or somethin’. Must be the steroids. Heh heh heh…
Trowa: … (glares)
Heero: EEEPPPP!!! Omae o korosu.
JC: Now Heero, don’t taunt the clown. So what won?
Solo: Uh oh… it’s another tie between Doukeshi and Ai wa Ryuusei. I don’t think it’ll be broken this time.
JC: Oh well… next we have Justice Boy AKA Wufei.
Wufei: INJUSTICE! WHAT A HORRIBLE INTRODUCTION!
JC: Live with it, forehead-boy.
Wufei: INJUSTICE!
Dorothy: Sexist-boy’s songs are Asu e no door wo tatake, Shinjitsu wo Tsukamitore, and Let In to Top.
JC: Where’d you come from?
Dorothy: (brushes hand over eyebrows) I was in the neighborhood and thought I’d see what was up.
JC: I see… she’s up to something.
Dorothy: I LOVE STRONG MEN! But Wufei’s a terrible singer.
JC: Nani? I liked some of his songs!
Wufei: ONNA! AT LEAST I HAD MORE THAN ONE SONG!
JC: He’s got you there.
Dorothy: Dammit!
JC: Hee hee. Anyway, by popular demand, Wufei’s best image song is Shinjitsu wo Tsukamitore!
Wufei: IN YOUR BROWS! (brandishes sword)
Dorothy: OHHH, YOU! (storms off)
JC: And now, we move on to the last person with more than one image song, Relena.
Relena: I’m so glad I made it. As the queen of the world, I feel that…
Treize: Can it has-been! (standing with all the one-shot and no-image song characters) It’s not fair! I was the sovereign! It should be me up there!
Relena: Well pin a rose, on your nose! (snickers/silent mirth™)
Trowa: Relena’s image songs are Zutto Himitsu, and Ai wa Mada Nakanai.
Dorothy: Relena-sama! Ai wa Mada Nakanai was the WORST image song EVER!
Relena: I’ll see to it that Joy to My Life will never make it to number 1!
Dorothy: AAARRRGGGHHHH!!!
Duo: And the winner is Zutto Himitsu, of course, with its lovely flute and cute instrumentality.
Relena: Duo, I didn’t know you were into that kind of stuff.
Duo: I’m not Duo. I’m… (pulls off Duo disguise to reveal)
Relena: IT’S YOU! (gasps in surprise)
JC: (blinks) Wow… well, now we will go one to the single people and take one random image song… who will it be? Lady Une? Treize? Zechs? Or Dorothy?
Dorothy: ME! ME! I AM THE STAR OF THE SHOW! (waves pom-pom)
Zechs: OH NOT THAT AGAIN! (grabs spare mask and shoves it over Dorothy’s head so her evil eyebrows were hidden from human sight)
JC: And the winner is… Lady Une with Brightness and Darkness!
Lady Une: (Saint Anne) Thank you… Thank you all… I hope we can all win with… (puts on glasses) BLOODSHED! YES, OH YES! ALL OUT RUMBLE FOR GLORY! YYYYEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
JC: Freak. Although she sucks at singing without the glasses.
Treize: Which is why I soundproofed my room.
Duo: Ouchie.
JC: So now we will declare the winner! The envelope please!
Solo: (bruised and tired) Here. It took me a while cause’ everyone was trying to look over my shoulder.
JC: To count the ballots?
Solo: No, to put the name in the envelope. (passes out)
JC: (sweatdrops) And now the winner…
Heero: GIMME THAT! (grabs envelope)
Duo: Oh no you don’t! (jumps on Heero) GIMME!
Wufei: (brandishes sword) AAAAHHHHHH!!! (charges into the fray)
Une: Stop! We shouldn’t be fighting! (puts glasses on) GIMME THAT ENVELOPE!
Quatre: (turns on ZERO) MMMMMMIIIIIIIINNNNNNEEEEEEE!!!
Trowa: … (follows Quatre into the rather large dust cloud of fighting™)
JC: Ho boy.
Solo: What do we do now? The envelope was a fake anyway, but…
JC: (grabs the REAL results and reads) Hm… uh huh… yeah… so… (blushes) Oh my.
Solo: Yeah, I thought so too.
JC: Well… (sweatdrops as the dust cloud dissipates into a heap of tired GW cast characters) I think they’re better off not knowing who won.
Solo: It’s to die for… (smirks)
JC: … uh huh.
JC: Well, that was quite interesting.
Solo: But we never let the audience know who won.
JC: I know. But sometimes things like that can’t be helped.
Solo: Who do you think won? Send comments/song votes to kenj1_sat0[ AT ]yahoo.com! Send them in by September 17, after that I will no longer be accepting votes, so send em’ in! The winning song title will be posted in my next fic! You have to put the character and the particular song you want to vote for. You can only vote ONCE! I REPEAT ONCE! Thank you.
Solo: See you at the polls.