Mahou no Bishounen Sailor Wing

The day started out like all the others, except…

“SSSHIIIITTTT! I’m LATE FOR SCHOOL!” Heero yelled and jumped out of bed. Zero looked up, and then went back to snoozing. “This is all your fault!” he grumbled and dashed out the door with a piece of toast in his mouth. An insufficient breakfast, but it would have to do. “I swear, when I get back home, I will kill that thing!”

After a morning of Lady Une’s tests, Heero leaned against the wall in the hallway with Relena and her friends Hilde and Sylvia. “Did you hear? We got a new transfer student.” Sylvia said excitedly. “They say he comes from Europe and is royalty.” Hilde gushed. “Look, there he is now.” The black haired girl pointed to the tall, composed boy with long blonde hair standing by the window. “KAWAII!”

Milliardo Peacecraft sighed. It hadn’t been easy, but here he was, alone in a suburban high school in Tokyo. ‘I needed a break… from every damned thing back home. The people here seem really nice… but gossip spreads. Soon everyone here will be chasing after me, and then I’ll have to move on…’

In the dark dimension of Romefeller, Dorothy Catalonia bowed before Duke Dermail. “I have already implemented my plan to corrupt and enslave the populace.” The blonde girl smiled. “Within a few days, you will rule the world.” “I should hope so, for your sake!” Dermail growled. “You may be my granddaughter, but failure is failure. Proceed immediately! I do not like being kept waiting.” “Yes sir.” “And what about Sailor Wing?” Dorothy smirked. “I’ll have a plan that will get rid of that crossdressing boy for sure. NAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Do you think I should ask him out?” Hilde whispered. “Get in line girlfriend.” Sylvia batted her hand. “Well maybe he’s not that special after all, I mean his family could have gotten overthrown or something.” Relena said. “Whoa, a royal reject.” Hilde and Sylvia giggled. Milliardo turned to face them. “Oh no, he heard us.” Relena gasped. The blonde boy glared, and walked away to the bathroom. “Oh, his glare reminds me of Heero’s.” Hilde poked Heero in the ribs. Heero glared at her. “You see?”

Across town, a hair salon had just opened, and a long line of people were waiting to get in. ‘Haha… this salon will spit out nothing but bad haircuts and perms! And when these silly humans take their hair problems to another salon, that salon will become infected with my ‘bad hairstyling syndrome technique™’. Not to mention it’s a great opportunity to distribute my ‘forked eyebrow wax™.’ Dorothy snickered behind the curtain, watching as customers sat underneath those hair drying things™. ‘Now.’ She thought and pressed a button-that-activates-all-sorts-of-evil-mischief™. Instantly, dark energy zapped the customers’ hair. “Only a matter of time…” the evil girl laughed and laughed and… “Cough… cough… oh, I need a breath mint.”

Milliardo stepped off the school grounds and glanced at his watch. ‘2:30… I have a good half-hour before my hair appointment. So I guess I’ll go to that arcade that I saw on the way to school. No need to ask anyone to go with me, it’ll just be like the last town.’ The blonde boy kicked a rock and went on his way.

“Did you see where he’s going?”

“OW! Yes, he’s heading downtown.”

“Sylvia, did you have to pick this tree sit in?”

“If you have any complaints, talk to my lawyer!”

“…”

“Heero? What’s wrong?”

“It’s… nothing. Do you know that Sylvia has bad breath?”

“Aa…”

“Relena, now you’re sounding like him.”

“Shut up!”

The four reached the arcade after ten minutes of dodging, and making sure the new student didn’t notice them. They then walked inside as if they did everyday…, which one of them did. “Hi Hilde! Brought some friends?” the arcade guy grinned at her (guess who it is ^-^). “Uh, hi Treize.” Hilde walked over to the counter and handed him a couple yen in exchange for tokens. “Uh, what are you guys doing?” the beret girl stared at her two girl friends who were off in the corner.

“is he cute or what?”

“what a hunk!”

“you’re already chasing that other girl.”

“well Hilde seems to like him.”

“Omae o korosu.”

“WHA! Heero! Where did you come from?”

“Hey look, isn’t that the game Heero’s so good at?” Hilde walked over and pointed to Milliardo, who was playing a shooting game. The four walked over just in time to see the blonde beat the high score. Heero’s score. “…” Heero glared at Milliardo, who glared back. “Kisama! I challenge you!” Heero grabbed the other gun controller and popped a token in. “Accepted.” Milliardo. “You know, I never saw a score that high before.” “…” Heero turned his attention to the screen and pressed the start button. (wow, how many buttons in this fic are there? Count em’) The game lasted a while. Soon everyone in the arcade came over to watch the two boys battle it out. Relena, who hadn’t noticed, turned around and freaked. That caused Heero and Milliardo both to jump, and lose the last of their extra lives. The game ended, Milliardo scoring 77778 points, and Heero scoring 77777 points. “NANI?” Heero gaped. Just then, a silver helmet popped out of (a probably damned big) the prize slot of the machine. Heero’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. Not only did this blonde stranger just beat him, but he got a prize, not a very good prize, but still, a prize was a prize. “Is this supposed to be a prize?” Milliardo glanced at the helmet skeptically. “I want one too!” Heero grabbed the machine and began throttling it. ‘Maybe I can get it to cough up something while its still at it.’ He thought. “Ano… if you want a prize, you can have mine.” Milliardo held up the helmet, but Heero ignored him and kept right on shaking the poor machine. Finally, the machine coughed up a laptop (I told you it was a damned big prize slot with some pretty damned good prizes… you can’t win those kinds of prizes at Fun Factory ^-^) and exploded… well, maybe just the thing started smoking.

“Wow Heero.”

“It’s… a laptop.”

Behind the machine, Zero smirked.

“Oh no! My hair appointment!” Milliardo groaned when he saw what time it was. “Gotta go!” He said and dashed out with the helmet. “Milliardo! You forgot…” Treize walked up with the blonde’s bookbag. “Heero? Since you nearly wrecked my machine, the least you can do is give this back to him.” Treize glanced at the smoking game and handed Heero the bag. “But I don’t know…” “He’s going to that new hair salon on Third Street. Get going.” Treize glared.

Milliardo stepped into the salon, only then realizing his bookbag, which had his wallet in it, was gone. “Oh, SHIT.” He muttered and turned to leave when a blonde lady (Dorothy) walked up and stopped him. “Please, right this way. You’re our sixtieth customer today, so you’re free.” She smiled, for that gimmick had worked all day long. “Uh, thanks.”

Heero stood out side the salon. Zero popped out of nowhere and stopped Heero from going in. “Wait! I sense dark energy. Romefeller has infected this salon and many others around town.”

“You’re being paranoid. I killed the guy remember?”

“No, you killed a general, not the leader. That laptop. Use it to scan the place and you’ll see what I mean.” Zero pawed the black computer. Heero looked at Zero strangely, but opened the laptop and a scanning program activated, showing evil, evil energy of Romefeller corrupting the building. “Transform into Sailor Wing.”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes! It’s your mission!”

“Mission… accepted. Wing Crystal Power, Make-UP!”

Milliard had just sat under the blow dryers when… “OMAE O KOROSU! I’m Sailor Wing and I’m detonating this building in the name of my personal interests!”

“Well now, you’re Sailor Wing!” Dorothy whipped off her clothes to reveal her evil dominatrix outfit. “I am Dorothy Catolonia, the head general of Romefeller.” “Omae o korosu.” Wing said and fired a blast at Dorothy, who dodged and lashed out with her whip. Milliardo got up and tried to get out but he looked in the mirror and… “AAAAHHH! Split ends?! What did they do to me?” he cried. “Milliardo!” Zero ran over. “Put the helmet on!” “Like that will hide all these tangles!” Milliardo picked it up and sobbed. “NO! Put it on and say ‘Epyon-Tallgesse armor energize!’” the blonde sobbed one last time, put the helmet on and said “EPYON-TALLGEESE ARMOR ENERGIZE!”

Seconds later, a masked blonde warrior in a red sailor suit stood there. “My hair… it’s revitalized.” Milliardo held the silky strands. “No time for that! You’re Sailor Zechs, and you have to help Sailor Wing!” Zero gestured at the other magical boy who was dodging Dorothy’s whip. “Hey WOMAN!” Zechs called.

“WHAT?! ANOTHER ONE?!”

“I’m Sailor Zechs, and in the name of good hair and shampoo, I WILL GIVE YOU DIVINE PUNISHMENT!” the blonde soldier announced and pulled out a heat rod™ (AKA the Epyon’s whip thing) . “I will show you who’s the dominating one!” Dorothy screamed and attacked with her own whip. “Epyon… Heat Rod ENCIRCLE!” the two attacks collided, and Zechs’ attack ripped through the evil girl’s, and the remains clattered harmlessly to the floor. “Argh! Alright my remless! Step up and give them a new do’!” Dorothy disappeared in a puff of blue frogs.

The hair dryers melted and combined into a monster. Sailor Wing aimed his buster rifle at it and fired, but it didn’t do any damage. “TALLGEESE…” Zechs pulled out a gun. “DOLBER SHELL CANNON!” bullets rained on the monster, causing it to break down and cry. “OH, Don’t hurt me! I HAVEN’T DONE ANYTHING YET!” “How the Hell did you do that?” Wing glared and Zechs. “If you say you’re attack name, it will do more damage.” “Aa… WING BUSTER RIFLE SHOT!” This time, the blast was much bigger. “OH SSSSHHHHHIIIIIIIIMMMMMMAAAAATTTTTTAAAAAAAA!” the monster screeched as it was engulfed. “LOVELY!” it blew up into little-pink-hair-bows-that-even-the-producers-wouldn’t-put-on-Relena™.

“Sailor Wing?”

“…”

“Nevermind.”

“Aa…”

To be continued…

Next time: Mysterious Shinto Boy. Tainted Toystore Tea party Trauma.