Mahou no Bishounen Sailor Wing

The year is 1000 B.C. (Before Colony) 195. A peaceful kingdom had settled in space. It was ruled by the kind Heero Yuy, and that name was passed down to his only son. The kingdom flourished, but one day, bad sales people from the Romefeller Foundation appeared and wasted the kingdom with ridiculously high sales prices and made everyone’s check books bounce. Unable to stop these unholy demons, King Heero sealed his son Heero, and his court into a crystal, in which they would be reincarnated in the year A.C. 175. The Romefeller Foundation, vanished, never to be seen again… until now: A.C. 195.

The sun rose over Tokyo… the birds started chirping, and peoples’ alarm clocks sounded, and the citizens struggled to get up on the right side of the bed. In Heero Yuy’s room, the alarm went off, but no one was in the bed. He was already halfway to school.

When the bell rang about an hour later, Heero was already in his seat with his homework for the next week completed and was starting on his report due next quarter. Unfortunately, that was class standard, when your teacher was Lady Une. Today the red-haired woman had her braids tied back tighter than usual, and she looked like she had two sticks shoved up her ass. “All right class! GET IN YOUR SEATS AND GET YOUR BOOKS! Turn to the poem on page 63 I asked you to read just now, and you better be ready to TAKE A POP QUIZ!” she barked and slammed her attendance book on the podium.

While Lady Une began cracking the whip on her students, an evil king stood in his dark dimension of evil™, plotting to take over the Earth. (that is so old, let’s make it…uh… department stores) Duke Dermail pounded his magic-staff-that-was-made-from-evil-power™ on the floor of his evil looking throne room. “DEKIM!” he roared, calling for one of his evil generals. An old man with a ridiculous feather in his hat rose out of the floor. “Yes sir?” “Dekim! I take it your plan to take over all the department stores is going well?” “Yes sir.” Dekim bowed. “As I speak, my Serpents have infiltrated a well-known department store in Tokyo. But my liege, why are we attacking department stores?” “SILENCE! It is I who decides what and who we attack! But since you asked, the department stores serve the general public, and if we control the stores, we control the people! NOW GET OUT OF MY SIGHT YOU OLD BAG!” “Yes sir.” Dekim vanished from the throne room.

Heero was eating lunch: stir fried vegetables and rice, with his vitamins when Lady Une marched up to him and thrust a paper in his face. “What is this?!” She roared, gesturing at the paper. It was a minus 1 out of 200, an F. “YOU CLAIM THAT YOU’D STUDIED! YOU HAVE NO EXCUSE FOR FAILING THIS EXAM!” “I… I… failed?” Heero gasped. He was top in the class… and even one wrong answer on Une’s test meant failure… he failed… a mission. “Have you mother sigh this and return it to me!” Lady Une stamped her foot and walked out of the lunchroom. “AND WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?!” she screeched at several students who were eating.

“Aw, chill out Heero, its just ONE lousy test.” Relena Darlian massaged Heero’s back. He looked like he was going to explode. “You don’t understand. I’m the perfect student. I have to get good grades.” Heero slumped over. “My parents will kill me.” “But you… never mind.” Relena sighed. Most people thought she and Heero were boyfriend/girlfriend, but Heero was gay. She was the only one who knew that little fact, and she was bi… and he knew it, so… “Look, if it makes you feel better, I’ll take you to the mall and buy you some junk food. If your gonna be killed… or grounded, you might as well have ONE good last meal.” “No, I need to go home and study some more.” Heero got up and left. “Geez, I try to help and he brushes me right off.” The blonde girl stamped her foot. She had an adoring fan club, yes, but she liked Heero because he was someone she could level with. Besides, he listened, and never interrupted, <chuckle> and he wasn’t at all the gossiping/social type.

Dekim stood atop the targeted department store’s roof. Dark energy crackled from the remote he carried. In the store, Serpent (MS, human sized ones) disguised as sales people complete with the tight-ass-attitude™, were zapping all the merchandise with dark power. “Soon, very soon this world will fall. Ha HA HA … HACK! <cough, cough> Oh, I need my cough-medicine™.” But… “1 pill is only $18.95? But I need twenty!” Dekim protested. “GET TO THE BACK OF THE LINE, YOU HEAVILY MEDICATED OLD MAN!” the sales Serpent shouted. ‘Ungrateful little pions.’ Dekim thought darkly.

Heero walked down the street. “I can’t believe I failed a test.” He said staring at the big fat ZERO on his paper. ‘well… this may be juvenile delinquency, but…’ He crumpled the test papers and tossed it over his head into the trashcan™. Unfortunately, the wind shifted, and the paper wad landed on someone’s head. “ITAI!” a voice complained. Heero turned around to see… “A ZERO… admirable.” The other boy said. He was wearing black leather pants and jacket, and shades. His long braid tumbled behind him. ‘It’s that flashy guy again.’ Heero clenched his teeth. “GIVE ME THAT BACK!” he snatched the test back from the other boy. “Are you stupid, or just, incredibly lazy?” The braided one asked. “HUMPH!” Heero turned around and marched away, then turned around and delivered a hard punch to the other boy’s stomach. “I meant that in a good way…” the boy, Duo Maxwell groaned. “Hn… baka.” Heero smirked and walked off. In the alleyway, a mysterious pair of eyes watched the scene.

Heero reached his house and went inside. “I got a call from your teacher. She said that you took a test today. How did you do?” His father Touya(1) asked. Knowing he wouldn’t get out of this one, Heero handed his father the crumpled wad of paper. “ZERO? You said you studied! KNOW WHAT YOU NEED TO DO? GO BACK TO THE LIBRARY AND STUDY FOR THE NEXT TEST! Have a nice day.” Touya Yuy kicked Heero out the door. Heero jumped up and headed for the back door only to find it locked, and he didn’t have the key.

About an hour later, after some serious studying at the library, Heero lay on his bed. Unknowingly, he fell asleep. When he woke up when a shadow fell across his face. The sun was going down, and a small, furry animal was perched at the foot of his bed. “Omae o korosu.” Heero said to the creature. “Wait a second. Allow me to introduce myself.” The creature said. “You… you just talked.” Heero gaped. ‘This is not processing, brain overload, brain overload’ “My name is Zero, and I’ve been watching you for a very long time Heero.” “Great, just great, another ZERO in my life. I’ll still kill you.” Heero reached behind his pillow and drew a gun, only to find the clip empty. “Dammed father.”  He muttered. Zero ignored the whole gun thing and leapt into the air, a small remote-like device appeared and landed on the bed (the self-destruct control). “What the Hell is that?” Heero glanced at it. “It’s a very powerful tool, it will give you powers beyond imagination.” Zero said. “Cool. Now I will kill you.” Heero picked it up and pressed the button, but nothing happened. “Is this damn thing broken?” “No, it’s not broken, and you’re NOT supposed to use it on ME! I’m your friend. Anyway, you have to hurry, the evil power of Romefeller is back, you must fight them off using that tool.” “Che, if it even works.” Heero scoffed. “FINE! Just say, ‘Wing Crystal Power, Make-Up’, and it will activate.” Zero instructed. “Wing Crystal Power, Make-Up.” Heero said flatly, and nothing happened. “You have to say it with feeling!” Zero glared. “You’ve seen… ah, nevermind. Just press the button twice and clip your heels.” Heero stared at the creature for a second, but did as it said and pressed the button twice and clicked his heels. The remote device glowed, and when Heero opened his eyes, he was in a fuku… a very short one. The top was worse; it looked like a cross between a sailor uniform and spandex… which he really didn’t mind. And speaking of spandex, black spandex shorts hugged his butt under the fuku. “WHAT THE HELL?!” Heero yelled and lunged at Zero, ready to strangle that… whatever it was. But Zero jumped out the window. Heero, not being one to let something like that get away, jumped out after it.

Across town, Dekim had already drained… uh, robbed the customers of their money. The Serpents had taken over the department store, and no one could do anything… well, almost no one. “COME BACK SO I CAN KILL YOU!” Heero shouted as he chased Zero over the rooftops… over the rooftops? ‘Hey, I’m flying!’ the boy thought, somewhat surprised, but then he saw the mall complex. The department store on the south end was totally black. Zero jumped toward it and disappeared. Heero entered and found all the shoppers unconscious on the floor. Robots (Serpents) were everywhere. One of them had Relena’s purse. “Omae o korosu!” Heero said and kicked the Serpent over. “Who the Hell are you?!” Dekim shouted. “Well… my name’s…” Heero stammered. “Sailor Wing…” Zero whispered. “I’m pretty boy soldier for killing evil, SAILOR WING! I will kill you all for… because you all must DIE!” Sailor Wing did a weird pose. “Sailor what?” Dekim looked confused. “Attention all Serpents, kill this boy.” Sailor Wing just kicked, punched, and knocked all the Serpents to the ground, but they just got up and attacked again. Zero saw that and created a cylinder and tossed it to Wing. Sailor Wing drew it, and a beam appeared on one end. Using the ‘beam saber’, he sliced through the evil Serpents, but there were just too many. Another weapon appeared, a gun (AKA buster rifle) popped in to Heero’s hands, which he opened fire on the remaining Serpents, and blowing up half the store. The robots exploded into cash, which returned to their respective wallets.

“You brat!” Dekim cried when he saw the last of his Serpents twist and burn. “Die now!” he fired a shot at Sailor Wing, but a scythe flew through the air and knocked the gun and cut off Dekim’s hand, which disintegrated. “WHO ARE YOU?!” he called to the masked figure in robes standing in the skylight. “I’m Deathscythe Hell, and right now you’ve got a date with your maker! Sailor Wing!” Heero charged the rifle up and fired at Dekim. “OH, SSSHIIIIITTTTT!!! THAT WAS SO  LLLOOOVVVVEEELLLYYYYYYY! (2)” the evil man screamed as he blew up into bounced checkbook remains. Sailor Wing then pointed the buster rifle at Deathscythe Hell. “Omae o korosu.” “OI, is that how you thank a guy for helping you out?” the masked boy said, flipping his braid over his shoulder. “Nice ass Heero.” “Nani?!” Heero froze. ‘That voice… that braid.’ Duo pulled off his mask. “Spandex IS sexy.” He mummered walking up the Sailor Wing who he knows is Heero and giving him a light peck on the cheek. “See you next time.” Duo winked and melted into the shadows. ‘This feeling…’ Heero stared into the place where Duo disappeared. “Uh, Sailor Wing? Sailor Wing?” Zero pawed at Heero’s boots. “… I’ve lost him.” The creature smirked.

“So Dekim is dead.” Duke Dermail smiled. “Good, I never liked the fat old man anyway. Who’s going to serve me next?” “I will.” A voice echoed. “Ah, is that you Dorothy?” Dermail asked. “Yes grandfather, let me serve you now. What is it that you’d like me to do?” the blonde girl standing before him asked. “I want you to get rid of Sailor Wing. That little hussy has gotten in my way for the first, and for the last time.” “I’ll see what I can do honorable grandfather.” Dorothy bowed, and vanished in a gold limo laughing.

Next Part: When Two Blondes Collide! Hair Salon Nightmare!