JC: ARRRGGGHHH! This hideous color!
Solo: Huh? It’s just pink.
JC: But… I just spent the last… hour interviewing Relena Peacecraft!
Solo: Uh…
JC: (snaps fingers) Better.
Solo: So, disclaimer: JC doesn’t own Gundam Wing, and never will for profit.
JC: I love the color blue.
Solo: Uh, sure, let’s just check out the interview.
JC: I think the people reading are getting a headache. Well, now the color’s back to normal. Ah, here’s Relena now… and what IS she wearing?
Relena: Hello. I’m honored to be here. (walks in wearing cut-off jeans™ and a baby blue spaghetti strap™)
JC: Gah, Relena… isn’t that…?
Relena: Oh, you like the ensemble?
JC: Well, yeah, it’s cute, but?
Relena: Do you think I enjoy wearing those stuffy costumes? Ugh, they make me itch.
JC: Ah, speaking of costumes, why do a lot of the Sanc/Romefeller clothes look like they’re from the Mayflower/England? This is AC 195.
Relena: You know, I have no idea. But rumor has it that all the costumes are just patched up versions of some old movie about an Indian princess.
JC: (sweatdrops) I see. But anyway, what do you think about the rest of the cast?
Relena: Well… (thinks for a moment) despite the way the guys and gals act on set, they are really totally different people… in most cases.
JC: In what way?
Relena: Well, Heero for example, is a very reserved person, but he also likes to play hockey and believe it or not (lowers voice) jump rope.
JC: And…
Relena: Well, he won’t like me giving away TOO many secrets, (thinks a bit) Ah, Quatre may like tea and peace on the show, but in reality, he loves motorcycle racing, bloody video games, and lots and lots of sex.
JC: And he looks so innocent too.
Relena: I was kidding about the sex part, but he is… how you say, a bit more ‘raunchy’.
JC: Oh. Well, what about Trowa?
Relena: Ah, well Trowa is… a bit louder than he is on set. He smiles a lot, and yes, he does love animals. They were originally going to have Wufei work with the circus, but he’s terrible with animals, so they changed the script a little, giving that atmosphere to Trowa’s character.
JC: Wufei doesn’t like animals?
Relena: You should have seen him when he did have to go on the circus set. He was sneezing constantly, which is why they were drinking herbal tea instead of coffee. (laughs) I never saw anyone who went through tissue THAT fast! (laughs some more)
JC: Speaking of toiletries, is Treize really allergic to roses?
Relena: (bursts out laughing) Yes… yes… HA! And it was funny, too. Like Wufei, the crew had to order a TON of tissue boxes… Hahahahaha! (wipes eyes) You never will see another person who can blow em’ like Treize can!
JC: Well, while were on the topic of Treize, what’s up with Lady Une?
Relena: (laughs more) Despite the plot, she really is QUITE stable. She’s married and has four kids. Cute kids, hang around the set and sometimes get parts as extras. Her daughter Violet got a part in the Endless Waltz movie as the little girl Heero killed.
JC: I see.
Relena: Um, let’s see now. Zechs and Noin really don’t have a thing for each other. In fact, they really can’t stand each other.
JC: OK, enough about the cast, what about pairings? Do you like all the people you’re paired up with in fanfics?
Relena: Well, I can’t really disagree with the 1XR pairing. But I can’t see it happening to ME. It’s cute, that’s what I think. 2XR… I don’t want to know WHERE people got THAT idea. Duo’s nice, but he’s with Heero, so I can’t do too much about that.
JC: So you support 1X2?
Relena: Yes, I do. And no, I am not the possessive, horrible little bitch most writers make me out to be. (pouts) But continuing on the pairing thing, we can just scratch 3XR. Did we EVER exchange any words during the series? Uh, the 4XR sounds pretty good to me… if Quatre stayed in character. (smirks at thought) 5XR, come on people, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? DXR… um… just to let you know, I DO swing both ways. (fidgets a bit)
JC: Ah… did you two ever?
Relena: Hell no! She’s attractive, but married.
JC: Are all the cast members married or something?
Relena: No, not all of us.
JC: But just the cute women with split personalities and forked eyebrows.
Relena: Um hm. What are you implying?
JC: Nothing… (sweatdrops) What was it like working with each pilot? And Dorothy?
Relena: Hm… that’s a good one. Uh, Heero is really easy to work with, although he had a hard time trying to do a ‘laugh’ in the first episode, he improved and he’s a great person to be on screen with. Duo is always playing jokes behind the camera trying to make us all mess up. (laughs) But, he’s easy to work with too. Trowa… what can I say? Trowa has trouble remembering lines, but he can get the animals up on their mark every time. Quatre… Quatre’s the biggest prima donna I’ve EVER seen. The guy won’t walk onto set unless the lighting’s right, or he won’t come out of his dressing room until he gets his coffee. (laughs and laughs and nearly falls out of the chair) I’m ok, Wufei is a mediocre actor, but they chose him because he was the only Chinese guy that had ANY martial arts training at the tryouts, and like Sally, does his own stunts.
JC: Did he ever screw up and get hurt?
Relena: No, but he did get several bruises from the fight scene with Treize, but that’s about it.
JC: Do you think that Wufei is sexist? (raises eyebrow)
Relena: I’m not so sure. But the young kid they brought in for episode ZERO was a cutie. (sighs) he was SO polite, and really didn’t want to say too many things… bad.
JC: So how DOES Wufei look with his hair down?
Relena: Who is this about now?
JC: Sorry, I just wanted to know. But, getting back to you, you never did tell me what it’s like working with Dorothy.
Relena: Dorothy’s great. She’s very passionate about acting, so she usually sets the effect/atmosphere whenever we’re rehearsing. That helps everyone who has scenes with her really get into their character.
JC: And back to you, what do you think about Relena Peacecraft?
Relena: I think she’s kind of a ninny. But she has a lot of heart and truly believes in pacifism… until the movie.
JC: Do you wish you could have done more ‘kick butt’ scenes?
Relena: I can’t say I enjoy pointing guns at people, but a little more ‘action’, no not that, would be a lot more fun for me. It allows me to at least run around… but not in high heels, no thank you. (grins) maybe in the future I’ll do a chick flick with guns. I think that would be a lot of fun.
JC: One last thing. What do you think of the dub?
Relena: (pauses) LET ME AT MY ENGLISH COUNTERPART! PREPARE TO DIE! I really don’t like it/can’t stand the thought of it. Good god, I sounded like a wimp.
JC: Well, thank you for your time Relena. I hope that this interview will shed some light on who’s the bitch and who’s not… kidding. Thanks, and tell Trowa he’s next after I interview Yama-chan.
Relena: It was my pleasure. I hope to see you again. (runs off like a little fairy) eeeeeeeheeeeeeheeheeheehee! Dorothy!
JC: Hey… it rhymes.
JC: So, how was it?
Solo: I really don’t know how you survived.
JC: She’s not really a bad person. But anyway, if you have any comments/questions/fan mail, send it to R5achoy[ AT ]aol.com
Solo: So who ARE you interviewing next?
JC: (glances at list) Hmm… Gene Starwind, Trowa Barton, Yamato Ishida 02, … that girl from that other show… (drones on and on)