The Nutcracker Suite: Revenge!

Duo Maxwell decided to try to revive Heero Yuy’s humanity by showing him how mistletoe worked. “This is mistletoe Heero, watch and I’ll show you how it works!” the braided boy hung the green sprig over the door on the set. When he heard girls talking behind the fake-door-used-on-a-set-for-god-knows-what-play-their-performing ™, Duo opened the door and kissed the person on the other side. ~KISS~ When he opened his eyes he saw… RELENA DARLIAN! “Duo Maxwell, I didn’t know you cared.” Relena sarcastically muttered, blushing furiously. “Ojousan?! EEEWWW gross, I can’t believe I did that!” Heero, however… smirked… then burst out laughing. “BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” the Wing Zero pilot fell over. When the giggles finally stopped he said. “You make a lovely couple.” Both Relena and Duo turned on their deathglares-to-humble-a-certain-GW-piot-acting-out-of-character-cause-the-writer-thought-it-would-be-a-kick. “OMAE O KOROSU, HEERO YUY!” the two start chasing him around.

Hikari Yagami and Takeru Takashi were practicing ‘the Nutcracker Suite’ ballet they were performing later (OK, so this is their school). The two of them were great together. “Catch me Takeru!” Hikari called as she jumped/leapt into the blonde Japanese boy’s arms. “Hikari is such a graceful dancer.” Patamon gaped. “She should be, I taught her everything she knows.” Tailmon said. “Teach me?” Patamon asked. So the two digimon start dancing. Daisuke Motomiya fumed. ‘Not only is that blond dimwit dancing with MY girl, he’s… groping her. I’ll show him. Anything Takeru can do I can do better!’ The goggle-boy thought as he waltzed onto the stage and began twirling around faster and faster and faster. The two kids stop dancing to watch the jealousy-powered-soccer-player try to dance. Daisuke went faster and faster until ~PPPOOOOWWWW~ his ballet slippers blew up. “What happened?!” JC Maxwell-Yuy ran onstage from the wings where Washu was setting the lighting (which causes disaster if Washu touched it). “I had a ballet slipper blowout on a bouree.” Daisuke muttered weakly before he passed out. “I think he needs CPR.” Hikari said worriedly. “Takeru, you know what to… do? Gak!” the bearer of Light choked when she saw one of her ‘dance partner’ line dancing with Mihoshi and Kiyone. “Higher, kick higher!” Dorothy Catalonia yelled through her megaphone. “We’re trying! We’re trying!” the three yell. Daisuke took that moment to wake up and see Takeru’s ass in its full glory clad in the spandex-ballet-tights. “GAK!” he nosebleeds and passed out again. “What are you doing bro?” an angry Yamato Ishida stalked onstage. “If I catch you like that around women and Daisuke again, you are in so much trouble!” “But niisan’…” Takeru started. “Don’t you ‘but niisan’ me! If I ever see you in a situation like that, then I’ll…” “You sound jealous Yama.” JC smirked. “What’s that supposed to mean?!” the blonde retorted. “I mean, Takeru has better luck with… heh heh… anybody than you do.” “It’s his sister’s fault!” Yamato jabbed a finger at the foaming-at-the-mouth-Daisuke. “His sister stalks me 24-7!” the Ishida boy broke down and started crying. “WHY?! WHY?!” “Yamato.” Taichi Yagami walked up to his friend. “What?!” “I still like you.” The big-haired boy mummered to his crush. JC’s jaw dropped. Duo stared. Hikari stopped tending to Daisuke long enough to look hard at her brother as he and Yamato leaned closer and… ~BANG~ the door flew open.

“YYYYYAAAAAMAAAAATTTTOOOOO!” a shrill voice filled the air. Yamato instinctively covered his ears. Even Heero reached for some earplugs in his spandex space ™. “Kami, she’s worse than Relena!” Duo cried as Jun Motomiya stepped into the auditorium. “I heard that you were volunteering to set up the school ballet and thought I’d help out!” Jun cried in her oh-so-damn-annoying-voice and glomped onto poor Yamato. “Help…” the blonde pleaded. “Hang on. NO ONE TOUCHES MY MATT!” JC grabbed a crowbar and tried to pry Jun off Yamato but… the crowbar breaks in half. “Her grip is stronger than Relena’s!” Heero said, aghast. “You could help.” Duo glared at the Wing Zero pilot as he joined JC, Taichi, Hikari, and Takeru to help pry the evil Jun off of poor, poor, Yamato… unfortunately for them, and Yamato, Jun is too strong and changes into a gigantic monster! “I will destroy Christmas!” the Jun-monster declared. EVERYONE groaned. This was the SIXTEENTH monster that they’d faced that tried to ruin the holiday cheer for everyone. Except…

“Listen to us about this and that!” “The answer you hear will be the universe’s sympathy!” two figures rose out of the stage. “It’s the Rocket Gang!” Satoshi shouted as Musashi and Kojiro appeared. “Oh, it’s just them, nevermind everybody! Attack the Jun-monster!” Ryoko ordered. “Excuse me, Ryoko, but WHO gave you permission to boss everyone around?” Ayeka glared at the space pirate. “I did you prissy little princess now start attacking before the writer decides to edit both of us out for not helping to save Yamato… and he is kinda cute.” “Whoo hoo! Free at last!” Tenchi cried. “But he can’t compare to Tenchi.” Ryoko finished. Tenchi hung his head but pulled out the sword and charged it up. “uh, does anyone care that we’re here to steal Pikachu?” Musashi asked. “NO!!!” everyone shouted. “Hey!” Satoshi protested. “sorry…” “What is that horrible looking monster?” Kojiro asked pointing at Jun-monster. (OK, OK, so I’m not original…) “Not to mention it has NO fashion sense.” Musashi waved her hand in front of her face. That, needless to say, pissed Jun-monster off (I’m trying, I really am! <bows>) and whacked the Rockets through the roof. “YA NO KANJI!” <star twinkles> “What… was that?” Duo stared.

“Yamato… MINE!” Jun-monster charged. <SM battle music starts up… um…the funky BGM  played in the Super S movie> Everyone dodged as Jun-monster’s fat bulk crushed the auditorium seats. “Take this!” Ryoko fired her energy blast at Jun-monster. “Jupiter… Oak Evolution!” “Mercury Aqua Rhapsody!” (OK, so I didn’t write them transforming, but lets just say they did it when Jun came in as a precaution, also the digimon have armor-evolved, except for the original 8… I don’t need to list them do I?) All three attacks hit Jun-monster, but it doesn’t affect her…uh, it. Then Mihoshi and Kiyone opened fire on the monster. “Nobody beats the Galaxy Police!” the two shout and fire shell after shell at Jun-monster, but nothing happens. “SAVE ME! But watch WHERE you’re aiming!” Yamato yelled. “Moon Tiara… Action!” “Fushigidane… RAZOR LEAF!” the two attacks, combined with Tenchi’s sword and Shurimon’s ninja stars sliced off the arm holding Yamato, freeing him. “Heero smirked, laughed, and ran off followed by Wufei. Metal Garurumon grabbed the falling boy and flew to a ‘safe’ distance. “Everyone, ATTACK!” JC yells. “You see.” Ayeka said smugly. “Aw, shut up.” Ryoko glared as she blasted Jun-monster again. “Fire Rocket!” “Tempest Wing!” “Saint Aim!” “Heaven’s Knuckle!” “Flower Cannon!” “Gaia Force!” “Grey Stalos Freezer!” All the digimon attacks blast Jun-monster, but it’s still standing. “Geez, I knew my sister was tough but…” Daisuke muttered. “THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!” Yamato yelled. Jun-monster was about to attack when… “PINK SUGAR HEART ATTACK!” Sailor Chibi-moon’s attack whapped Jun-monster in the face with useless little pink hearts that made that cute little noise… EVERYONE STOPPED and stared. -BBBBBBBOOOSSSH- The roof caved in and Wing Zero hovered above with the buster rifle aimed at the monster. “AAAAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” Heero laughed as the target locked on. “PREPARE TO DIE!” “EXCUSE ME, BUT I AM THE FIRST PRINCESS OF THE JURAI ROYAL FAMILY AND THAT’S MY LINE!” Ayeka screamed. “Are you nuts?!” Wufei yelled as the Altron Gundam touched down near the Wing Zero. “It wouldn’t be justice to demolish half the school… but to get rid of that THING… that is JUSTICE!” Wufei yelled and used the Altron’s beam trident to send Jun-monster flying through the air. The Heavyarms then opened fire with ALL the missiles. “Now!” Washu cued everyone. “Please Pegasus… protect people’s dreams! TWINKLE YELL!” Chibi-moon tried her other useless-but-still-necessary-attack to call Pegasus. But the fat Jun-monster crushed it and it went back into the other dimension… so… Takeru evolved Angemon into Pegasusmon and… “MOON GORGEOUS MEDITATION!” Sailor Moon blasted Jun-monster. “PIKACHU! THUNDERBOLT!” “PIIKKAACHUUU!” “Zero…System…TARGET!” Heero fired. All the attacks plus the digimon and the Ryoko and Ryo-Ohki, and Ayeka, and Washu’s Mega-Laser-Cannon-to-Destroy-Jun-monsters-that-was-invented-by-a-scientific-genius™ hit Jun-monster. “IT’S THE END OF MY SHOW!” Jun-monster exploded into candy-canes-even-a-mouse-wouldn’t-touch™. “Don’t touch those Sasami! They’re evil!” Ayeka pulled her sister away from the falling canes. “I’d analyze them… but its better if they just MELT AND DIE!” Washu screamed. “Now where did that come from?” “Oh, HEEEEEERRRRRROOOOOO!” Relena screeched. “You were sssssssooooo brave!” “Hn.” And so Heero Yuy begins to suffer from another Relena talk session until… “Relena-sama! I just saw Dorothy with a picture of Heero… with his hair gelled!” one of her fanclub girls cried. “DOROTHY! OMAE O KOROSU!” the blonde girl ran off. “Oh my…” Trowa mummered. “Did you guys know…” “We don’t wanna know.” The author muttered and vanished from the set of the… er set. (Wind blowing effect) “OKKKKAAAYYYYY…” everyone says…

And so… the ‘play’ was a success. Bandaged, but still breathing, Dorothy Catalonia directed her ‘war line dancing’ and gave her audience a view of the dancers that they nosebled over. Needless to say, they brought down the house, literally, when Daisuke did his spinout, the damaged building couldn’t take much more and collapsed. Heero had a good laugh over that, Duo was very happy that Heero learned how to ‘smile’, and that involved a Christmas present the Wing Zero pilot gave to the braided boy that he never opened… hehehehehehe… The author JC enjoyed what was left of Christmas by inviting ONLY Yamato over for dinner… But anyway, Christmas at the Masaki household was anything BUT peaceful. Ryoko and Ayeka blew the ground floor of the house out in one of their squabbles, ‘Tenchi will open MY present first!’ and for the long run, Christmas… was well, a greedy, yet jolly one. (And so once again the day is saved, thanks to the… er… where the Hell did that come from? Da da da da da da, ding ding ding ding ding <music chime>)