Heero Shakes His Booty

During the days of … war… one of the pilot’s safehouse was above a music store.

“DAMMIT MAXWELL! CAN YOU PLEASE TURN IT DOWN?” Wufei yelled over the sound of Duo’s stereo.

“WHAT?” Duo called back.

“TURN IT DOWN!” Wufei slammed his book down and switched the stereo off.

“Gee Wu-chan, I guess you don’t know what good music is.” Duo pouted as Wufei returned to his book. “Ne, Heero? Wasn’t the music good?”

“…” Heero didn’t look up from his laptop.

“I give up! That guy’s as out of tune as a flat tuna!” Duo threw up his hands, and left the room, leaving the CD in the stereo. Minutes later Wufei got up to join Duo in bed.

As soon as the Chinese boy exited the room, Heero’s brow twitched. The Japanese boy stood up from his laptop, causing the chair he was sitting in to fall over. Silently, Heero walked over to the stereo and picked up the CD case.

The next morning…

“WHY IS THERE A BUNNY IN THE CEREAL?!” Quatre screamed loudly.

Duo and Wufei awoke from their… dreams and ran into the kitchen to find Quatre staring at a rabbit, which was ‘occupying’ his pink and blue cereal bowl.

“It’s a rabbit.” Duo said bluntly.

“Move aside Maxwell. It’s my dinner now!” Wufei brandished his sword at the seemingly innocent bunny.

“HOW COULD YOU WUFEI?!” Trowa screeched and ran through the room, scooping the bunny out of the sword’s way, but sacrificing the cereal bowl.

“KISAMA! BARTON!” Wufei began chasing Trowa around the room.

“And another thing…” Quatre leaned his head on both his hands. “My good clean pair of panties disappeared this morning.”

“Wha… WHAT?” Duo’s nose dripped with blood at the thought.

“My good pink silk lace panties… DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THOSE THINGS COST?” Quatre pounded his fist on the table hard, ZERO System energy gleaming in his eyes.

“Uh… I don’t have them.” Duo panicked. “Hey Heero, did you see where….???” Duo trailed off when he saw the Wing pilot not present at the breakfast table like he always was.

Trowa and Wufei were on the verge of creating WW 64 when Wufei suddenly stopped and ran off.

“Wonder what he’s so worked up about.” Trowa set the bunny down and went to eat.

‘That music! Duo’s CD… and …’ Wufei stopped before a closet in the hall. ‘The music is definitely coming from here.’

And he opened the door to…

“Wufei had to go to the hospital.” Heero said flatly. “He lost a lot of blood.”

“Really?” Duo said, concerned. “How?”

“I don’t know.” Heero grunted and shifted his spandex uncomfortably.

“Jock itch?” Duo teased.

“Damn underwear.” Heero cursed and went to his room.

“But you don’t wear under… wear…” Duo stopped, and thought for a moment. ‘Nah, I’m probably being paranoid.”

The next morning…

“EEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!!!” echoed through the safehouse.

“Now what?” Quatre and Duo came running to find Trowa staring at his vanity drawer.

“My little kitty ears and bell collar…. GONE!” Trowa gasped, tears forming at his eyes.

“Kitty ears and bell collar?” Quatre raised his eyebrows.

“It was… it was…” Trowa moaned over and over again.

“Yeesh! Poor baby.” Duo held Trowa and gently patted his back.

“I’m going to go get some breakfast from the store. Be back in five!” Quatre left, but on the way out, he passed the same closet Wufei had yesterday. The sound of a bell tinkled and he opened the door…

The next day…

“I can’t believe Quatre had to go to Arabia for this church thing!” Duo groaned as he sat with Trowa at the coffee shop the next day.

“… my… kitty ears…” Trowa whimpered, still not over his loss.

“Oh GROW UP!” Duo sipped some coffee as Trowa stood up. “Where are ya going?”

“Back. I forgot the keys to the SUV.” Trowa shoved his hands in his pockets and went back up.

“Suit yourself.” Duo took a long swig of coffee.

When Trowa entered the apartment he passed the closet door…

“I don’t believe this!” Duo stared at the note Trowa had left on the door. “Trowa’s gone off to a MIME SCHOOL?”

“Hn. It would seem so.” Heero looked at the note.

“And you find NONE of this disturbing?” Duo pressed.

“What?” Heero glared at Duo.

“The fact that EVERYONE, except for you and myself, all left, save Wufei, for no good reason at all.” The braided pilot folded his arms.

“You’re being a paranoid baka.” Heero said simply and shut his bedroom door in Duo’s face.

The next morning…

“Num-num…” Duo mummered sleepily as he trodded out of his bed, clad in his SD Deathscythe PJs. As he passed the closet going to the kitchen, the sound of a guitar riff caught his ear.

‘That sounds like…’ Duo turned and threw the closet door open… and then his jaw dropped.

Heero… Heero Yuy, the Perfect Soldier, stood in the closet with a CD player on full blast, dressed only in pink lace panties and kitty ears w/matching bell collar.

“I don’t think your ready for this jelly, I don’t think your ready for this…” Heero sang in a low seductive voice, shaking his booty right in Duo’s face.

“ugh…” Duo fainted.

“Cause’ my body’s too bootylicious for ya baby!” Heero sang and continued to dance raunchily around the small closet, causing the bell to ding-a-ling.