JC: Well, I just interviewed Heero.
Solo: You’re in one piece! You survived!
JC: He’s a pretty nice guy. Real sensitive, if not a bit odd.
Solo: (reads interview) and they say you’re psychotic.
JC: Uh huh.
Solo: Anyway, same disclaimers as always. JC doesn’t own Gundam Wing, and never will.
JC: Boy, I wish I did.
Solo: (sigh) Let’s show the interview already.
JC: Ah, Heero. You’re punctual.
Heero: Aa… I feel being on time is one of the most important things in life.
JC: Oh. Well, sit down.
Heero: (sits down) Oh god, if feels so good to sit!
JC: (winces when he sees the happy-happy look on Heero’s face) Uh, that’s very nice. So uh, why are you so relieved to sit down?
Heero: oh, my ass hurts like hell. I’ve been standing on my feet for the last four hours trying to get a scene right. Stupid Duo kept messing it up. That idiot; I can’t believe I fell for him.
JC: So you are with Duo?
Heero: … not really, just a little crush. More of a fascination, but not love.
JC: So who exactly are you with?
Heero: My, my, we are so nosy.
JC: It’s kind of my job today. What are you’re preferences in a person?
Heero: Well, first they have to be… enigmatic… and I love classical music… it’s so soothing after you hear all those gunshots.
JC: Can you at least tell me who the person is? I mean, I’ll censor it out, promise.
Heero: Well then, I must say that the person I’m with would have to be <censored>. We make such beautiful music™ together! (hums a few bars of Ode to Joy)
JC: (thinking) why does this sound SO familiar?
Heero: But enough of that. What else do you want to know about lil’ o’ me?
JC: Uh, what’s it like being on the show?
Heero: Oh, it’s fun. I love working with other actors and actresses that take their work seriously. Dorothy for one, she’s great.
JC: Do you like Relena?
Heero: Hell no. (laughs) Sorry R, but I don’t like her THAT way. Nice girl, really, but a little… too tomboyish for me.
JC: Tomboyish? She didn’t seem that way to me.
Heero: Don’t let her fool you. I heard she was orchestrating some kind of scandal behind the directors’ backs, just so she could get ONE scene holding a gun.
JC: Ooo…
Heero: She’s not that innocent, believe me. Neither is Quatre. I caught him trying to seduce Duo and Trowa at the SAME time. Can you believe that? Sweet, innocent looking Quatre… well, he didn’t fool me for a minute. Cause’ I’m… the GREATEST ACTOR IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
JC: Uh huh…
Heero: But not to sound conceited or anything, I think I worked harder than anyone else did on the set.
JC: Huh?
Heero: I don’t like violence, but my agent said this role would give me a lot of publicity, and I just accepted it without a second thought.
JC: You don’t like violence? You sure fooled me.
Heero: (sparkles) Peace… the universe is meant to have love in it.
JC: (HUGE, HUGE, sweatdrop™) …
Heero: Stop that, you’re starting to sound like Trowa.
JC: Sorry, bad habit.
Heero: Speaking of Trowa, I think he’s listening in on us. Trowa!
JC: Nani?
Trowa: (falls off the ceiling beam) Ouch.
JC: Trowa?! These interviews are very private.
Trowa: …
Heero: I bet Quatre sent you to get some dirt on me so he can use it to steal the role of Shinji for the EVA movie. Well, he’s not getting it!
Trowa: … (leaves)
Heero: That guy is like Quatre’s little bitch. I can’t stand him.
JC: Whoa, you’re trying out for Shinji?
Heero: Well, it’s just a whim, really. I really don’t think I’ll get the part though, but Quatre seems to think so.
JC: Quatre?
Heero: Like I said, he’s not THAT innocent.
JC: …
Heero: You’re doing it again.
JC: Oops. Do you dislike anyone else?
Heero: (pauses) No, not really, no. I just can’t stand Trowa and Quatre though. I think that Wufei’s great to work with.
JC: What’s your opinion of 1X5/5X1?
Heero: Nice, I see it happening. Or 1X2/2X1. But I think that and the 1XR pairing are a little overused, but still appealing.
JC: Do you think you could get it with Lady Une?
Heero: Nice lady, real nice. But it wouldn’t work out. She’s married.
JC: Aaa…
Heero: Stop it, you’re sounding like me now… it’s scary. (laughs)
JC: Do you laugh much?
Heero: I love smiling. It was a little painful for me not to go through some scenes without breaking down laughing. I swear, I was going to burst sometimes.
JC: OOOOOOKKKKKKKK… (forces sane look, but really is losing it) What do you think of the soundtrack?
Heero: All the BGM is so cool. Some tracks are very relaxing, and I co-wrote some of the music used on the show.
JC: Really? What about the openings and endings?
Heero: I thought both ‘Just Communication’ and ‘Rhythm Emotion’ had their strong and weak points, but ‘Rhythm Emotion’ made a much better ‘sentou’ theme. As for the opening credits, I say that they were all equally good. ‘It’s Just Love!’ I thought was really cute. Relena did a good job when they filmed that one. (laughs) I didn’t think she could lift up the two lions.
JC: More points to the tomboy theory. What is your opinion of the dub?
Heero: (face turns blank) Omae o korosu. I hate the dub. It must die. All the silly wimpy actors that voiced the other pilots and me must die.
JC: (backs away) …
Heero: You’re doing it again.
JC: Sorry. (watch beeps) Oops! I gotta go host a show now. Thanks for your time Heero. I had … an interesting time.
Heero: The pleasure was all mine. (reaches into his spandex and pulls out a small envelope and gives it to JC) Here. I have an engagement too.
JC: (opens envelope and reads note) You are cordially invited to the wedding of Heero Yuy and <censored>. Seating is limited, so call now. <censored> Note: Pianos and Cellos make great gifts. (raises eyebrow) Cool. I’ll go.
JC: So that was Heero.
Solo: I must say I’m scared now.
JC: You would. Anyway, send comments, and feedback to R5achoy[ AT ]aol.com we must have feedback people!
Solo: The only reason you have so much time is because of the teacher strike.
JC: And I intend to use it wisely! Hahahahahahahaha!