GW vs. the Dub

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?” Duo shrieked.

“…” Trowa’s visible eye widened, and the other eye became slightly visible as well.

“Oh… Allah… oh… …” Quatre spit out his tea and clutched his chest. “My space-heart™… it hurts… “

“MY GOD! OH MY GOD!” Relena grabbed the sides of her head, her eyes reflecting an image of pure horror.

Noin had gone to the bathroom, and a line consisting of Lady Une, Treize, Sally, and Heero banging on the door for the purple-haired woman to hurry up. The sounds of intense gagging came from behind the heavy oak door.

Zechs had completely lost it, huddling on the floor in a little ball, muttering little poems to himself as he tried to regain his sanity… if he ever had any.

“INJUSTICE!” Wufei was throwing a fit, jumping up and down on the coffee table and brandishing his sword.

Finally, Quatre snapped. An unearthly glow lit his eyes up. “They… must pay… for what they did to me… they will… die…” and he ran off laughing like the little manic he ALWAYS was.

Trowa abruptly got up and followed Quatre, trailed by Zechs and Duo. Noin finally finished using the bathroom and went after Zechs. Heero, Sally, and Lady Une tried to squeeze through the door to hurl, but Treize beat them to it and slammed the door in their faces. Anyway…

“Oh dear…” Dorothy stood by the window, watching as five Gundams, the Tallgeese, the Tallgeese 2, and a white Taurus flew away from the mansion. The sound of a jeep driven by two VERY angry ladies off to kick butt faded into the distance followed by a pink stretch limo. “I really hope those other guys have insurance.”

In another part of the GW universe, another dimension, another time, Heero Yuy looked at the sky. “Relena… I will stop you.”

All of a sudden, a great-dimension-warp-caused-by-an-original-cast-coming-to-kick-its-dub’s-butt™ appeared and all the Gundams, the Tallgeese (s), Noin in her Taurus, Une and Sally in a jeep, and Relena’s pink limo shot out and landed in the grassy-field-for-landings-from-a- great-dimension-warp-caused-by-an-original-cast-coming-to-kick-its-dub’s-butt™. (insert any dramatic entrance BGM, Sailor Moon BGMs are preferred)

The ‘real’ Heero Yuy jumped out of Wing Zero’s cockpit and pounced on his dub farce. “DIE! YOU MUST DIE! ZERO TOLD ME TO KILL YOU!” the two began wrestling in the grassy-field-for-landings-from-a- great-dimension-warp-caused-by-an-original-cast-coming-to-kick-its-dub’s-butt™.

“AAARRRGGGHHH~! I’ll stop you!” the dub Heero said and pulled his gun, only to have it shot out of his hand by…

Relena (the real one) blew the smoke from her machine gun that she swiped from her collection. “GO GET HIM HEERO! KILL HIM! KILL HIM! KILL HIM!”

“Uh, which one are you rooting for?” Duo asked.

“Oh… Your Heero of course.”

“Of course! Go Hee-chan!”

“Omae o korosu!” Heero (the real one) kneed his double in the nuts and used his ‘Zero System Target’ attack to knock the dub Heero out. “I win. You lose.”

“Yay! You won Heero!” Duo and Relena did a little hamster dance, but stopped when the dub Duo and Relena arrived.

“My Heero… oh Heero… you didn’t get me like you said you were gonna!” Dub Relena knelt before the unconscious dub Heero and tried to kiss him back to life.

“Now that is just WRONG honey!” Relena walked up to her dub double and slapped her.

“What was that?” Dub Relena turned. “We should all be peaceful. I will SUE you in court.”

“Actually, I prefer MARY SUEING, SO SUE THIS!” Relena fired her machine gun and dub Relena was totally annihilated and blew up into little marshmallow bunnies.

“Whoa! Ojousan! You rock!” Duo faced off with his double.

“Dude, you are so going down!” Dub Duo said and tried to tackle Duo, but Duo moved out of the way and slammed his dub into the ground.

“Who’s going down! I’m Shinigami! I CANNOT DIE!” Duo yelled and started strangling the dub Duo.

“Uh, Duo? Need help?” Quatre walked over, and kicked Duo in the face.

“Quatre! What the Hell was THAT for?” Duo groaned as his dub pushed him off of him… (shrugs).

“I am not Quatre… I am…” the dub Quatre never got a chance to finish, for the real Quatre had whacked him silly, with a giant gumball machine.

“DIE! DIE! DIE! YOU NEVER, EVER SOUNDED LIKE ME! YOU WERE A MAN!” Quatre whacked dub Quatre until there was nothing left of ‘it’ but a smudge of pink chewing gum.

“Uh…” Heero, Relena, and Duo backed away from the panting blonde.

“Quatre, man! Those guys will meet the great destroyer!” the dub Duo cried.

“Who’s this ‘great destroyer’?” Relena wanted to know. Heero shrugged. Duo shook his head.

“AAARRRRGGGHHH! PREPARE TO BECOME <CENSORED>!” dub Duo charged with his gun… only to be kicked in the nuts by Relena and her steel-toed-pink-combat-boots™.

“Ouch.” Duo winced as his dub died screaming ‘Hit me baby one more time!’.

“Why weren’t you a Gundam pilot?” Heero stared at the girl. “You already killed your dub, and Duo’s too.”

“Well, let’s just say that I enjoy kicking butt. Damn pacifist ways always prevent me from cutting loose.” Relena grumbled. “OK, I’m back to pacifist now that I’ve eliminated my dub. I’m happy now. Pargan! Take me home! I grow tired of this place.” She turned and winked at Heero. “Call me later and tell me how your date with Duo goes.”

“A DATE?” Duo’s jaw dropped.

“…” Heero’s face flushed a bit, but that was all.

“You are really nosy ojousan.” Duo pouted.

“Maybe. Toodles! I have an engagement! Bye Heero!” and the pink limo disappeared.

“Well, at least she’s sane now.” Duo muttered.

“Duo.” Heero grabbed the braided boy and kissed him, thus rendering Duo speechless. “HN!!!”

“…” Trowa confronted dub Trowa.

“I think we should follow. ACK!” dub Trowa never got to finish his dumb sentence because Trowa decked him.

“DIE! DIE! DIE!” Trowa lost it, and like Quatre, assaulted his double with a giant gumball machine.

“AH THE LOVELY GUMBALLS!” dub Trowa screamed like an old lady as he exploded into thousands of spandex shorts.

“WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” dub Heero got back up, only to get run over by Sally and Une in their jeep.

“I have set explosives!” Une crowed with a not-so-innocent-look™ on her face.

“This place will go sky-high™ BABY!” Sally laughed as she, Une, and the jeep vanished.

Up in the sky, Noin, Zechs, and Treize had encountered their dubs and were beating the crap out of them. Noin used her beam cannon against the other Taurus, which caused the suit to exploded, sending dub Noin flying into the stratosphere. Treize and Zechs double teamed their dubs and with beam sabers and dolber shell cannons, the dub Treize and Zechs were sent to the places were roses and butterflies sing and dance to Mandy Moore and Britney Spears songs.

“I salute… ONLY ME!” Treize declared.

“I just want to use the bathroom.” Zechs complained.

“I WON! WOMEN RULE! TAKE THAT WUFEI!” Noin cheered.

Speaking of Wufei, the Chinese man of justice had sliced his double a cheese and chocolate sandwich, poisoned it, and dub Wufei was gone to Never-Come-Back-Alive-Land.

“HIS NATAKU WAS EVIL!” Wufei cried as he desecrated his dub’s remains with marshmallow cream sauce and broccoli.

“That’s disgusting!” Duo held his nose.

“WHAHAHAHAHA! JUSTICE!” Wufei did a little dance around the marshmallow cream and broccoli mush.

“I think Wu’s overreacting.” Duo muttered as he watched the Chinese boy laugh like an insane maniac that he always will be.

“Hn. The explosives Sally set will go off soon.” Heero grabbed Duo and headed back to his Gundam.

“Do I have to sit in your lap?” Duo whined. “I also have to fly my Shinigami out of here.”

“Fine. But I could have had it on remote, but since you don’t want to ride with me…” Heero smirked. “Handcuffs and strawberry syrup when we get back.”

“FINE!” Duo raced to Deathscythe as fast as his legs could carry him.

“Nooo…” Wufei moaned as blood spurted out of his nose from the thought. The forehead boy jumped up and ran to his Gundam, taking off to some other place far from the dub world, and Duo and Heero’s bedroom.

The explosives went off…

BBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!

Sally and Une had done well. The entire GW Dub universe was destroyed in a massive explosion of fireworks and cotton candy. There was also a sticky mess to clean up, but no one cared.

“DUO!”

“HEERO!”

“UGGNHH!”

“KISAMA! MY NOSE!” Wufei also found out he can never escape the noises that came from Duo and Heero’s bedroom, no matter where he went.