Everything's Coming Up Rosy

The sun was shining over Treize Khushrenada’s estate. The lake water was glistening and… “Another one of those damned birds flew into my window again!” Treize fumed. “How many times a week must I scrub the bloody shit things off the glass?! How many?” he cried, and then began crying. “Sir, if you don’t feel up to it, I’ll cancel all your appointments for the rest of the day.” Lady Une said. “And if you like, I’ll prepare a bath for you now.” “No thank you Lady, why don’t you take the day off as well?” Treize smiled at her. ‘and while you’re at it, don’t go through my rose garden again. That’s the hundred and twentieth rose that you’ve picked just to put on your uniform, and at the end of the day, it’s in the trash.’ The Oz general rubbed his forehead as Une left. ‘Speaking of roses, I’ll go out to the garden, that always relaxes me…’

It was the end of the day, and Treize was still pissed off. Some idiot had mixed up the order of honeybees for bumblebees, which attacked and gave him hundreds of bee stings during his walk… more like hasty-run-this-was-a-stupid-idea-venture™ in the garden. The new hybrid roses that were imported from some country in Asia set off his allergies, the damned hay fever. And to make things even worse, his new blue uniform was torn, full of holes, and muddy when he came back to the house. ‘This would be a good time for Une to come and help me.’ He groaned. “UNE?! Now where is she?” the he saw the note.

To my beloved Treize-sama,

Thank you so much for giving me the day off. I hope you will have as much fun as I will.

You’re humble slav..er subordinate,

Lady Une (hugs and kisses maple-syrup-sama!)

“Arrrrrgggggghhhhhh!!!” Treize growled and crumpled up the note and tossed it in the trash can, along with the other 119 or so roses.  ‘a bath would be nice right about now, a nice LONG bath.’ Treize practically skipped up the stairs to the bathtub.

Ten minutes later… “I don’t see HOW Une manages to get this tub running.” The ginger-haired man stared at the numerous buttons, levers, and screens that were the controls for the bath. After consulting the manual, Treize pushed the red button and hot water poured into the tub. The green one mixed in some medicine for the bee stings. “I’ll put the rose essence in the old fashioned way™!” Treize declared after seeing how many steps it took just to orchestrate THAT particular operation. BUT… when he got in. “SHIT!!! IT BURNS!”

Hawaii… “ah, this is the life!” Une sighed and stretched back in a beach chair. A man in a bikini served her a fruit cocktail with one of those little-pink-paper-umbrellas-that-are-so-damn-cute-in-fruit-cocktails™. Une took a sip and pulled up her shades to scope out all the hot surfer dudes.

After his ‘refreshing’ bath, Treize retired to his room. To his surprise, a large vat of roses was sitting in the middle of the room. ‘That’s just what I need right now, more roses.’ Treize grumbled and pulled his towel off and lay on his bed naked. Ten seconds later a loud ‘Kisama!’ came from the vat and Wufei jumped out of it. “Put some clothes on and duel with me Treize! This time I will kill you!” “Hmm…? Oh, it’s you again Dragon. Not now, I’m too tired.” “Kisama! Do you know how much these roses cost?!” “That’s nice Wufei, but not now. I need some sleep.” Treize pulled the blanket over his head and fell asleep leaving a puzzled and pissed off Wufei standing in the room, brandishing his sword.

“Ah, what a nice nap, now what was… ACK!” Treize gagged when he saw all of his precious roses cut, up to his bed in them. “My roses… my beautiful roses!” A glance out the window showed the rosebushes in the gardens, totally mutilated and cut into little pile of mulch, arranged so that from above, they spelled ‘injustice!’. “I heard a scream sir. Is everything alright?” Une ran in, her military uniform replaced with a red spaghetti-strap and a white mini, complete with a beach-bum-tan™. “Oh, I love what you’ve done with the room baby-cakes-sama?” she said absently and picked a rose off the floor and put it behind her ear. “Is something wrong?” “AAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!” Treize screamed. He’d had enough of roses for a while.