Bishonen Marmalade

I don’t wanna go in!” Jyou whined.

NO! NO! YOU CAN’T MAKE ME! NOOOO!!!” Heero screamed and resisted every effort to get him into the dark auditorium.

NNNNOOOOO!!!” Quatre scratched, and tried to bite the people that dragged him inside.

This should be good.” Daisuke dragged Ken in followed by every female cast member of Digimon Adventure.

But Daisuke, who’s paying?” Ken wondered.

No sweat! I bribed JC, so we get in for free!” Daisuke winked, leaving Ken wondering exactly WHAT he’d bribed the author with.

Taichi stood outside the auditorium, and slipped inside followed by Takeru and Iori.

Why are we here Relena-sama?” Dorothy crossed her arms, looking totally bored.

BECAUSE! The tickets were free.” Relena protested and dragged weird-eyebrow-girl inside.

I can’t believe I’m doing this.” A voice backstage whispered.

I don’t care. I wanna see the look on his face.” Another voice giggled.

Whatever. Just don’t crowd me.” A third hissed.

Why did I show up? I knew I should have stayed home!” a fourth grumbled as they watched some unwilling audience members and some freeloaders get strapped into their chairs.

Meanwhile, the seats were filled up and a spotlight shone on the stage. Treize poked his head out and walked onstage in a tuxedo.

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to the L-1 Rouge!” he gestured behind him and stepped off the stage. The curtain drew back to reveal… a cheaply painted, but brightly-lit set that looked like it came out of a Martha Stewart Living Don’ts Catalog™.

A beat starts up and four guys dressed in drag, feather boas, and carrying whips enter from the right side of the stage.

Duo: Where’s all my soul sisters?

Lemme hear ya’ll flow sisters (cracks whip)

Yamato: Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, flow sister

Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, go sister (snaps fingers to the beat)

Koushiro: (struts out and begins dancing oh-so-conveniently in front of Jyou) He met Marmalade down in old L-1 Rouge

Struttin’ his stuff on the street

He said, ‘Hello, hey Jyou, you wanna give it a go?’ Oh! uh huh (trusts hips forward towards Jyou)

Jyou almost fainted from the view he was getting.

Yamato, Koushiro, Trowa, Duo: Gitchi, Gitchi, ya, ya dada (Hey hey hey)

Gitchi, Gitchi, ya ya here (here)

Mocha Chocalata ya ya (oh yea)

Creole bishonen marmalade (start dancing around raunchily)

Ack!” Daisuke hissed as he suffered a massive nosebleed.

Duo: What, What, What What ?(wiggles his really pert @$$)

Oh gods…” Heero moaned as his eyes rolled unconsciously to the back of his head and back.

Trowa: ooh oh (lies down on the floor facing Quatre)

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? ce soir?

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?

Oh Allah!” Quatre clutched his space heart.

Hmm…” Dorothy mused and began taping the show with her secret video camera™ to blackmail … someone later on.

Yamato: yea yea yea yea!

By this time, Taichi’s eyes had nearly fallen out of his head. He considered rushing the stage, but the metal cuffs and the ropes prevented him from doing so.

Yamato: (fans himself with a huge pink feather) He sat in his boudoir while he freshened up

Boy drank all that Magnolia wine

All his black satin sheets, swear he started to freak, (flashes up skirt)

yeah (blows a kiss at the audience)

Taichi would have fallen over in his seat, if the manacles hadn’t prevented him from doing so. Iori and Takeru were led away by an usher because they were too young to witness ANY more.

All: Gitchi, Gitchi, ya ya dada (da-da-da)

Gitchi, Gitchi, ya ya here (here ohooh yea yeah)

Mocha Chocalata ya ya (yea)

Creole bishonen marmalade

Duo: Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? ce soir (Yamato: ce soir, what what what)

Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ?

Trowa: (cracks his whip and turns around, but still facing the audience) Yea yea uh

We come through with the money and the garter belts,

I let him know we bout that cake straight up the gate, uh

We independent bishonen, some mistake us for whores,

I'm sayin‘, why spend mine when I can spend yours? (tosses a handful of hundreds at the audience, successfully knocking out part of the female audience)

Disagree? Well that's you and I’m sorry,

I’mma keep playing these cats out like Atari.

Wear ideal shoes get love from the dudes

4 bad ass bishies from the L-1 Rouge (wiggles his a$$)

Hey sisters, soul sisters, betta get that dough sisters,

We drink wine with diamonds in the glass

by the case the meaning of expensive taste

If you wanna itchy, gitchi, ya ya

Mocha Chocalata (what?)

Creole bishonen marmalade!

One more time, C’mon now!

Dorothy was now considering selling copies of the tape on the black market for: “One Million DOLLARS!” she laughed with her pinky by her mouth.

All: Marmalade... Bishonen Marmalade... Marmalade...

Duo: Hey! Hey! Hey! (undoes his braid, causing his hair to cascade down his back)

Touch of his skin feeling silky smooth,

color of cafe au lait, alright

Made the savage beast inside roar until he cried,

More! More! More!

Yes! More Duo! More!” Heero cried and started bouncing up and down in his seat.

Yamato: (does a really raunchy thing with a feather boa) Now he's back home doin' 9 to 5;

Trowa: Sleepin' the grey flannel life!

Koushiro: But when he turns off to sleep memories creep,

More-more-more!

All: Gitchi, Gitchi, ya ya dada! (da daeaea yea)

Gitchi, Gitchi, ya ya here! (ooh)

Mocha Chocalata ya ya! (yea)

Creole bishonen marmalade!

Yamato: (jumps off stage and straddles Taichi) Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? Ce soir? (Ce soir)

Duo: (dangles handcuffs in front of Heero) Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? (all my sisters, yeah)

Heero stared at Duo, the handcuffs, and nodded eagerly. “HN!”

Koushiro: Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? Ce soir? (ce soir)

Trowa: (slides down his fishnet stockings, exposing his creamy skin, and causing Quatre to suffer a massive nosebleed™) Voulez-vous coucher avec moi? (C’mon! uh)

Wufei jumps out on stage in a ninja outfit and brandishing his sword.

Wufei: Koushiro...(Koushiro: Oh Yeaeaa Oh)

Duo... (Duo: Bishonen Marmalade)

Yamato...(Yamato: Hey! hey! uh uh uh uh...)

Trowa...(Trowa: Oh, oh, oooo)

Rockwilder baby...(baby)

L-1 Rouge... (0h)

Chang Wufei here...

Unfortunately for Wufei, AKA ‘The Real Dragon’, the sight of the bishonen in drag was too much, and his nose bled profusely. Treize had to walk out and drag the unconscious rapper off-stage™. By this time, Yamato had freed Taichi from his bonds and dragged him to the stage. The others followed suit and…

All: Creole Bishonen Marmalade! Oh, yes, AH! (The curtain falls on the couples, and clothes fly out from behind the curtain)

I think it was worth the money.” Sora sighed, for her wallet was now empty.

Don’t worry Sora; I have Daddy’s credit card!” Mimi smirked.

Shopping spree?” Sora piped up.

Oh yeah!” Mimi giggled and pulled the girl after her.

I think… I know why Jun had the hots for Yamato…” Daisuke moaned as Ken shoved yet another tissue up his nose.

…” was all the boy-genius could say.

Pretty good for free tickets.” Relena shrugged as she and Dorothy got up.

Money! Pretty money!” Dorothy giggled as she clutched her camera. “MONEY!”

Is there going to be a DVD recording of this?” Miyako asked the blonde girl.

Tape only, $18.95.” Dorothy ranted, waving the tape above her head until… “IT’S GONE! MY MONEY IS GONE!”

I can’t believe that girl.” JC Maxwell-Yuy grumbled and tossed the tape up and down. “Oh, well, Chihaya can have it. Enjoy!” and with that, the tape vanished into hammer-space-delivery™.

Later…

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!” echoed across the galaxy.