The painful monotony of his life had become almost a comfort over the two years he’d spent adjusting since the war had officially ended. He found that the daily schedule that filled up most of his existence was a welcome distraction from any of his doubts about his purpose in life outside of being a soldier. Wake up in the morning, take a shower, get dressed, head to the Preventer’s Office, get ordered around by Lady Une, have lunch with Duo at a nearby café, go back to work, come home at nine, eat a frozen meal from his freezer for dinner, do work on his laptop, go to bed at three am, and then start over again. It was simple and calm, and he appreciated it, never really needing the glitz of an exciting life. The war had been enough excitement for him to last a lifetime, and he was fine with his measly apartment packed full with Lean Cuisine frozen entrees.
So when he arrived right on time to work at seven am sharp, punching in his access code and stepping inside the private base, only to see Trowa Barton working diligently at the desk he’d vacated over a year ago when he’d left to become Quatre’s bodyguard (not that the other pilot had needed it save for public face), needless to say his peace had suddenly shattered.
“Heero.” The taller pilot said with a minute smile as he looked up, before turning back to his computer to continue whatever it was he was busy with. Heero frowned and stared at his old comrade in confusion. Detachedly he noticed that Trowa was wearing thin-rimmed glasses and wondered how long it had been since he’d gotten them.
“Heero, my man! Look who’s back!” Duo shouted with glee as he slapped Heero on the shoulder, free hand waving enthusiastically at Trowa, as if the six-foot man sitting two meters away was terribly hard to miss. Heero managed a slight nod, before turning and quickly making his way to the private office he’d earned over the years. He wasn’t surprised that Duo was right behind him.
Ignoring the longhaired man, Heero sat at his desk and immediately booted up his computer, keeping his eyes on the blank screen so as not to give anything away of his current mental state.
“You know, this probably means that he hasn’t got ‘Property of Q.R Winner’ branded on his ass anymore.” Duo said conversationally, leaning against the doorframe with a wicked smile. Heero kept his expression neutral and logged onto his account once the system had fully come online.
“I wasn’t aware that ownership of another person was legal.” Heero said evenly as his eyes scanned the newest document Une had sent him. He sent a glare Duo’s way when he heard the other man snicker.
“Wow. Someone’s bitter.”
“Don’t you have work to do?”
Duo grinned and stepped inside the small room, closing the door behind him. “Nah. I’m off today. Just came in ‘cause ‘Fei told me Tro’ was back.”
“Then go bother him.” Heero retorted, putting the slightest inflection on the word ‘him.’ Shaking his head, Duo made his way to Heero’s desk and sat down on the corner.
“You should take him to lunch today. Catch up on old times.” The way Duo spoke, it sounded as if he were secretly suggestion something far less chaste than lunch.
“There’s nothing to catch up about.” Heero said flatly, pulling up a file of a new mission.
“Sure there is. Lot’s of stuff, in fact.” Duo countered, holding up his hand and counting off with his fingers. “You could tell him how you’ve always been secretly in love with him but your pride prevented you from admitting it until it was too late. You could tell him how you lied when you said you didn’t get Quatre’s Christmas party invitation in the mail and you just didn’t go because you didn’t want to see the two of them together. You can tell him how you haven’t seen anyone in over two years because you’re still hung up on him. You can tell him how sometimes you still have wet dreams about him—”
“I haven’t in six months and eight days.” Heero snapped, immediately feeling like an idiot for defending himself and thus only further proving Duo’s point.
“Today I’ll have lunch with ‘Fei and you go ahead and hang with Trowa. It won’t hurt right? And who knows? Maybe he’s secretly depressed and’ll get drunk and you’ll get some long awaited booty?”
Heero gave him a look.
“Fine fine fine!” Duo conceded, holding his hands up in defense. “We’ll all go to lunch together. Okay? How does that sound?”
“Do I have a choice?”
Duo grinned as if the God of Death were back in action.
“Of course not.”
“So, Tro-man! What brings you back to the side of life that doesn’t involve platinum silverware and golden plates?”
Heero rolled his eyes and gave Duo a look out of the corner of his eyes. Leave it to the braided idiot to be blunt and dive right into the awkwardness. Shifting in his seat, Heero saw that his theory was correct as he recognized the tensing of Trowa’s shoulders and tightening of his fist on the table. Trowa’s face, however, showed no change in expression.
“Quatre and I mutually decided that it would be of my best interests to retire from my post.” He said simply. The hand on his coffee mug was shaking. Heero frowned. He couldn’t remember a time when Trowa had let his emotions be so blatant.
The table fell into quiet and Heero fought to shift and show his discomfort.
“How’s Sally, Wufei?” Trowa said abruptly, an obvious attempt at changing the subject. Behind his mug, Heero could see that the taller man was suddenly hiding an amused smile at the way Wufei sputtered.
“I… How… How would I know? I am not her keeper.” The Chinese man stammered, holding his head high in an effort to look dignified through his reddened cheeks.
“Don’t you work in the same office as her?” Trowa continued innocently, eyes portraying nothing but curiosity. The concealed grin, however, was slowly widening.
“…Oh. I, ah…yes. I do.”
“So wouldn’t that mean that you saw her before lunch?”
“I suppose so…”
“So wouldn’t that imply that you are, in fact, aware of how she is doing?”
Beside Heero, Duo was having a hard time keeping his snickers in check. Heero’s brow furrowed as he silently studied the green-eyed Preventer sitting in front of him, feeling as though he were staring at a completely different person than he knew over a year ago. Had all of this been because of Quatre? He was aware that the blonde man was a good influence on Trowa, much to his dismay. Trowa nearly always had some version of a smile on his face whenever Quatre was around, and even became more talkative than usual.
Yet… there was something about this new Trowa that put Heero on his guard. Something mysterious and darker than there had been even when Trowa was merely a nameless soldier in the war. Heero frowned. What was it?
“I promise, I’m not infiltrating the Preventer base and working as a double agent.” Heero heard the voice distantly and had to shake his head to clear his thoughts, focusing on Trowa, who still had his cup covering his secret smile.
“I…what?” Heero blinked.
“You’re staring at me as if you don’t know what to make of me.” Trowa replied softly, eyes filled with amusement. Heero blinked again.
I don’t, he thought. A simple shrug of the shoulders, however, was the only response he gave. Trowa actually let a small chuckle escape.
“Heero Yuy. I’ve not seen you in a year, yet you’re still the same as I left you.”
“And you!” Duo cut in with a grin, “We haven’t seen you in a year and suddenly the robot comes to life?”
Trowa smiled slightly. “Quatre taught me well.”
Heero had to fight not to break the glass in his hands.
It was as if he couldn’t escape Trowa. As much as he tried, he just couldn’t get away. Trowa was there every morning when he got to work, and as late as he stayed, the taller pilot always managed to outdo him somehow. Not to mention that for the past few weeks, his lunch everyday seemed to be a Gundam pilot reunion, minus one overtly cheery blonde.
And then there were the questions. The innocent inquiries Trowa would have about Preventer policies and statutes that had been instituted in his absence, that he would knock gently on Heero’s door to ask him about. Once, after a particularly hard night (ever since the green-eyed man had returned to Heero’s life, he’d returned to Heero’s dreams as well), Heero had snapped harshly and demanded Trowa to go ask Duo instead. The unadulterated hurt and shock in the emerald eyes had two affects on Heero. The first made him wonder when Trowa had become so expressive, instead of the stoic youth he used to know. The second made him want to self-destruct for being such an asshole.
Following that day, Heero would wait for the timely knock on his door and beckon Trowa to enter, a fresh cup of coffee waiting on his desk for Trowa in a sign of welcome. After the first few times, Trowa didn’t have any actual questions anymore, but witty observations of how much the office had changed. Other days they just sat in a companionable silence. In either case, Trowa was there in Heero’s office everyday from four to five pm in a quaint sort of routine.
It was during one of these meetings that Heero suddenly began to realize that he didn’t particularly want to escape Trowa. The other man’s company was enjoyable and peaceful, not exhausting like when he was with Duo, or awkward as if he were with Wufei. He felt comfortable with Trowa. And perhaps that was what caused him to allow the question that had been irritatingly hammering at his brain since Trowa had first come back to escape.
“Are you ever going to go back to Quatre?” As soon as the words left his lips, Heero felt like an idiot. Partly because he realized it was an insensitive question, and partly because he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know the answer.
Trowa looked surprised at Heero’s query. “I… hadn’t really thought about it.” He admitted, glancing up at the ceiling. “It depends, I suppose.”
“On what?”
“On if everything is okay again.” The answer was soft and cryptic and Heero found himself wondering who this strange man sitting in front of him was once more. For the first time in weeks, the silence between them was tense and awkward and Heero felt that since he was the one to start it, he should be the one to fix it. Looking to the side, he cleared his throat a bit.
“I’m…sorry.” He muttered, feeling out of place with such a simple statement. Trowa looked at him in surprise.
“What for?”
“Just…ah.. that it didn’t work between you and Quatre.” Heero was feeling embarrassed enough as it was. He didn’t need the strange look Trowa was suddenly giving him to add to his mortification.
“That what didn’t work out? The job? It was a mutual parting.” Trowa said with a minute frown, cocking his head to the side. He studied Heero’s face for a moment, before his eyes widened slightly. Then, he smiled.
“I can assure you that anything that may have transpired between me and Quatre was purely platonic.”
Heero shrugged and Trowa let only a moment pass before he went back to discussing the way Louise Steves, the woman in charge of Intercolonary Affairs, had an obvious liking for Duo.
The blue glow of his digital clock was taunting him as the hour flipped to the two, signaling the second batch of sixty-minutes into the morning. Heero briefly glanced at the time, before continuing his typing on his computer, determined to finish his paperwork before retiring to his home. The sudden sound of a slamming door from somewhere downstairs perked his war-refined senses and he whipped around, listening for any more noise. Narrowing his eyes, he grabbed his gun from the center desk drawer and silently made his way out of his office and down towards where the strange echo had come from. Gun cocked and ready, he approached the reserve living quarters, frowning at the noise he heard inside. There wasn’t supposed to be anyone staying overnight at the base as far as he knew. Raising his gun, he kicked open the door, aiming the weapon at the intruder in the center of the room.
Trowa Barton stared at him in surprise, oversized bathrobe hanging open atop his flannel pajama set and coffee mug dangling from his hands so precariously from shock, the liquid almost spilled.
Heero blinked.
“Uh…” Suddenly, standing in the doorway of the of the temporary living area of the Preventer base, holding a gun up to one of his best friends, he felt incredibly foolish. Trowa had a way of making him feel that way a lot.
“Heero.” Trowa said in greeting, snapping out of his daze, before taking a sip of his coffee. He turned his back to the other man and made his way to the bed centered in the room. Heero furrowed his brows and followed him.
“What are you doing here?” He asked, voice unintentionally harsh. Trowa merely raised an eyebrow.
“Well, I was planning on sleeping until I quite suddenly had a gun pointing to my head.”
Heero flushed and looked away.
“Sorry.” He muttered noncommittally. Trowa shrugged and pulled back the covers of the bed neatly.
“I’ve been staying here since I came back.” The taller man said in explanation. Heero glanced at him again.
“Why?”
“Because I have nowhere else to go.”
And then suddenly Heero’s mouth was open and he was speaking before thinking once again, as he did often whenever Trowa was around.
“You can stay with me.”
A long moment of silence passed while Trowa regarded Heero quietly, the latter man regretting his uncharacteristic aggression. After a minute, Trowa’s lips quirked in a Mona-Lisa smile.
“Okay.”
Heero wasn’t sure if the feeling in the pit of his stomach was elation or dread.
When Duo heard the next day that Trowa was moving in with Heero, he thought it was the juiciest piece of gossip since Une was suspected to be having an affair with one of the Preventer’s undercover agents. When Wufei heard, he thought it was a terrible idea and firmly insinuated that Heero was to respect Trowa’s honor and not use this as an excuse to take advantage of his obviously ‘broken heart.’ (Heero didn’t bother to mention that, though he wasn’t entirely sure Trowa’s heart was in one piece, it had nothing to do with Quatre as the other man might have thought.) When Heero, himself, had finally fully registered that Trowa was moving in with him, he realized he was crazy. He had a small, one bedroom apartment on the outside of town that was usually a mess and never had more than a freezer full of frozen entrees.
He had a feeling that soon that was all going to change.
And there went his painful monotony.