Nighttime Promises

He cradles the darkened apple in his hands like it's the most precious treasure he could ever find. It's just one of those things that makes me question where he came from if he can just hold an apple and be happy. I know that sometimes, late at nights, he cries because he's so hungry, but he always offers his food to me before he takes one bite. Always holds out whatever he's got almost like he's trying to get on my good side... trying too damn hard to make a lasting impression on me. It makes me feel horribly guilty when I can find some food whenever I'm not around him, and I don't even think to bring it back to see if he might want it. I can eat what the two of us consider to be a good meal and come back to see him curled up behind a dumpster, clutching his stomach because he was probably so stupid he gave away his food.

Maybe stupid's too harsh...

One of his major problems is that he's very young and needs guidance from somebody. Honestly, if I could find that someone who told him to be nice, I would kick their asses for telling him that and then leaving him alone. If he was my kid and I even thought to teach him something, I would try my hardest to keep him safe and sound because a child that listens is definitely a keeper. All I know is that whoever had him before he was property of the streets, that someone didn't treat him right for this kind of shit.

When I come back from wandering and see how jaded he already looks, it makes me wonder if I looked that way when I was his age. I wonder if I used to sit in the darkness of an alley, gripping the edge of a too-large T-shirt, grime in my hair and sadness in my eyes. Did I just sit there and look entirely too old for the body I was trapped in? If I did do all this crap, I'm really glad I can't remember a speck of it because it seems like it would be a painful memory.

I hope he can't remember it when he's my age. I wouldn't want to wish that upon anyone, really... except for that stupid fucker who tried to hurt him the other day. If I see that guy around my space ever again, I swear to God I'm going to tear him to pieces until he apologizes. I took it upon myself to watch out for the kid until he gets old enough to fend for himself, and it doesn't help matters any that there are people out there who would try and mug a child. I mean... honestly... I can take one look at the dumb brat and know that he doesn't have anything worth having! If he did, I would have stolen it weeks ago and left him all...

Who am I kidding?

Whenever I look at him, it's like watching a puppy getting kicked for fun. His hair is so messy, it almost appalls me, and mine's certainly not something to brag about. We're like the two poster brothers from a family magazine, showing off the new grunge look. To drift back on topic, I couldn't do anything potentially harmful to the kid because he just looks too damn cute for his own good. You take one long look in his watery eyes, his nasty hair falling over his face, sitting in his torn shirt without any shoes on... you take one look at that and honestly tell me you would hurt him. Honestly admit that you wouldn't even think twice before pushing him down for his apple or pulling his hair just to hear him cry.

Can't, can you?

Back to the here and now. I always drift away when I think about him.

His nervous glance shifts between his uneaten apple and me, his head tilting back so he can look me dead in the eyes. The apple, pressed tightly against the front of his shirt, looks too good to be true even to me. If he was anybody else, I would try my hardest to get that apple for myself, but he isn't somebody else and I can't just do that to him.

"You want?"

His little arms extend out so he can show off the apple, gripping the food like it was some special prize given to him and him alone. And like mentioned, had he been anybody else, I would have taken him up on the offer. As it stands, even as my stomach protests my stupidity and my survival instincts kick in, that would be another form of hurt directed towards him. My doubts are washed away as he ducks his head down and smiles that little grin that I've gotten used to the past couple of months. And as much as I hate to admit, I can't resist a smile whenever he offers me one. It's too damn hard to ignore that...

"You know, kid... you have the innocence of a carrot."

His eyes lift to meet mine again, his hair flopping back to reveal more of his face. That tiny smile flickers away for just a second before it returns full-force, almost blinding me with his odd happiness.

"No, silly! It's not carrot! An apple!"

That rips more emotion out of me, that damn brat managing to get two smiles in one day. Quite a lasting accomplishment, if I do say so myself. He deserves his props, that's for damn sure. I tug on the fabric of my pants just a little so I can kneel down in front of him, trying to level out the difference in height. Even down on my knees, he's so much shorter than me. I reach out and touch his soft cheek, running a finger across his dirty skin as some form of affection. It seems to work because he leans forward a little just to stay in contact with me, releasing one of his hands away from the apple to do the same to my face.

"My fault. An apple."

He jerks his head up and down in an ecstatic nod, grinning at me like he could care less that we are both crowding in the back of an alleyway to keep away from the cold nighttime air. He grins at me like I had made all his dreams come true just by agreeing that it was, indeed, an apple he was holding in his grip. His hand drops away from my face to go back to the apple, bringing it back to his chest again. I bring my hand away from his face and towards my own, pressing a little kiss on my fingertips and blowing him a friendly kiss.

I laugh as he makes a face in my general direction, extending the apple out again to try and offer it to me. I shake my head once and gently push the apple back towards his chest, not stopping until he takes the initiative to begin the cradling again. He plops down on the concrete and watches me like I was one of those odd TV programs we used to watch in front of a shop before the place got robbed. He breaks his gaze and brings a hand up to his mouth, yawning into the palm of his hand.

"You know, kid... one of these days I'm going to take you to a place that's really nice, okay?"

He yawns again, his eyes beginning to droop down with exhaustion.

"It'll be a place with so much food, we won't be able to eat even half of it!"

He blinks at me, watching me through lidded eyes, gripping the apple like a lifeline. See? He's kind of smart; he knows if you don't need the food, you shouldn't waste it if you only feel a little ache. You should save it until you really need to eat something because then you'll know you have something waiting for you.

"People will get us stuff when we ask for it, and laugh at our jokes."

"Even if they not funny?"

His muffled voice makes me smile again.

"Even if our jokes aren't funny, they'll laugh."

He makes a soft sound of approval, liking the idea as much as me.

"We'll get to sleep in beds and have really nice covers... silk, even."

"Dunno what silk is."

"Well... know that it's really nice, okay?"

"Mm'kay."

I crawl over to lean against the alley wall, pulling him into my arms so he can rest his head on something other than hard concrete. He grips onto the fabric of my shirt, the apple falling to land on the ground next to us. By instinct, I pick it up and tuck it into one of my coat pockets so if somebody has the urge to try and get it, they'll have to work a little.

"We can both take nice, hot showers so we can look all clean and handsome."

He sighs deeply, probably sleeping already.

"We'll get nice clothes... plenty of well-deserved attention."

I lay my head down on top of his, ignoring the stray hair wisps wanting to attack my cheek. Tightening my arms around his small body, I place a small kiss on the top of his head and prepare myself for another long night.

"We'll get out of here."

His voice comes from nowhere, shocking me out of the daydream.

"Promise?"

One more smile for the night.

"Cross my heart."